Thursday, July 9, 2009

Memories and Dreams...

As I sit here late into the evening in the still silence, I am remembering days of long ago. Isn't it funny that when we are actually allowed to be...just be alone; with our thoughts; things trigger memories of the past? I was sitting here tonight hand stitching embellishments on a tiny baby gown destined for a precious little baby that just graced this world. Her parents waited long and anxiously for her as she lazed in the womb choosing just the right day to come say hello. Welcome baby Audri, sweet daughter to the now new mom, La Tisha. It seems like just yesterday that I was giving birth to Trenton and she came over to hold him and care for Taylor so I could rest. Wow...where does time go?

Oh...back to my thought! As I was hand stitching I remembered the first time my Great Grandmother taught me how to sew. I was just about 4 or 5 when I sat at her feet as she sewed quilt pieces by hand and made me clothes on a machine probably older than the one above. She ever so patiently showed me how to use a darning "thingy" and a darning needle. She showed me how to darn socks. Weaving the threads carefully in and out, over and under. I spent hours mending and darning old socks as I sat among scraps and scraps of fabric. Oh, how I loved her fabrics. So interesting in color and texture. I loved the patterns and the "stories" that the fabrics told. I still today love fabric! If you were part of our move - you know how much fabric I once had. I am sad that it is all gone - but I will collect more again one day.

I will sew again too. I will make things and create items - hopefully to make a memory with someone, like my Great Grandmother did with me. I hope that my boys are making good memories of the things we do together. It makes me wonder - and I will strive harder to make good memories with them.

It is almost 2 am and I am sitting in my tiny "cottage" content listening to the still of the night. I have HGTV playing - one of my favorite TV Channels! I can hear each one of my kids and my husband breathing in different rhythms. Cool night air spills in and washes over my legs as I sit with them propped up like the queen that I am not!

I go to the fridge - thirsty. Nothing to drink - not much in the fridge. Oh well. I grab a cozy shack tapioca pudding - although my thighs and tummy will not thank me later - it sounds so good right now. I remember my Grandmother COOKING the tapioca pudding over the stove when I was a kid. She would then carefully pour it into pretty little glass bowls, with an iridescent finish. She would then wrap saran wrap over each one and I would help her carry them one by one to the fridge to thicken up for our dessert.

Her fridge was so cool - it had the freezer on the bottom. That is where the "ice milk" was kept. She had diabetes so she indulged in "ice milk" instead of ice cream. It tasted the same as ice cream - just not heavy on the "sugars" she told me. On Friday nights she would make these sundaes with vanilla ice milk drizzled with the Hershey's chocolate syrup in the can, then came the dollop of cool whip, a sprinkling of crushed pecans or walnuts topped off with a maraschino cherry!

We would sit and watch "Good Times" or "All In The Family" and oh...my Granddad's favorite - "60 minutes". I would play in my Grandmother's sewing box, stringing buttons and sewing scraps of fabrics together creating dresses for my dolls. I guess my love for creating came early and has stayed with me.

I am going to go back to designing. I have decided to launch a line called
"Smiles by Day... Giggles by Night".
I set up my website and will update as I get the designs done.
I am starting out this time with newborn gowns and caps and we
will see where it goes!

I need to do something fun - something I enjoy. I can do this late at night when all are deep in slumber. During the day the boys can help me plan my designs and put embellishments and color pallets together. I hope to make a memory with them. I hope that they will see their dreams can come true even if mine have not - yet!
There is always time to realize one's dreams - even if they are only in your mind!

The mind is a powerful thing - you never know who is watching and who you may be helping to realize their dreams by watching you! Perhaps they have given up on a "dream" and you are just the one to "inspire" them...

Remember - keep your fork!

Perhaps it is time to go off to bed - dream a dream - and pray for it to come true!

"Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight, I wish I may ... I wish I might - to have the wish I wish tonight! God Bless mommy, God Bless daddy...."

I said this as a child when away from home visiting my Grandmother and Granddad...memories.

Good night all...goodnight.

Sweet Dreams...

xoxo
Janean