Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Living Simply...



Do you know what it is to live Simply so you can Simply LIVE?

Most of us do not.  Some of us do.  Do people live simply by choice?  Most do not.  Some of us do.  

In our situation we were forced to live simply...so we could simply live.  Attempting to sell and or give away most all of your material possessions that have been with you, hauled from one place or another for nearly 20 years was not easy.  

Did we do this to make our live easier.  Certainly not.  We were forced by circumstance.  Was it hard?  You bet.  Are we better for it, we sure are.  

You see, I use to enjoy being able to treat myself to acrylic nails.  Most ladies today do too.  I was forced to give up this luxury.  Now I find pleasure in clipping my nails, running a file over them and quickly applying clear polish.  Simple.  It makes me feel pretty.

Pedicures were a must for me.  I LOVE having pretty feet.  I can not afford to do this now, so again I do this myself.  Simple things that most people think of as necessary are not at all.  They are luxuries.

I ask you what could you give up to live simply?  
Starbucks?  Cable TV?  Internet Access?  Driving the toll road?  Dining Out?  Shopping in a Mall?  Using CHARGE CARDS?  Leasing a new car?  Going to the Movies?  Playing Golf?  Buying Wine?  Extra curricular Activities for the Kids?


Most people say "HECK NO!"  


But what if you were forced to do these things?


Could you, would you... survive?  The answer is YES.  


I know first hand.  I know we are not alone.  Many of you reading this are feeling the financial pinch of the downward spiraling economic disaster.  I challenge you to think of the things you indulge in, things you think are necessary.  Could you cut back?  Could you do without?  Could you actually SAVE money instead of spending it?  YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MAY BE FORCED TO LIVE SIMPLY!


Be proactive.  I promise you - you will be better for it!


Does your kid really need 50 video games or the latest and greatest video game system?  Do you really need a NEW cell phone?  Does your kid NEED a cell phone?  What about bikes, scooters and skateboards - do they need a new one each year?  Can you stop eating out so much and make meals at home?  What about doing chores around the house FOR FREE?  Do we really have to pay our kids?  Can we not reward them with a trip to the beach, a one on one "date" with mom or dad or something SIMPLE?



I am not judging you.  There was a time when we were doing quite well and as parents wanted to give our kids things.  Things they thought they needed.  Now they have almost nothing.  They have learned that we live SIMPLY so that we may simply LIVE.

It is hard and they feel cheated, but in the end - when they are grown they will appreciate the things they can buy for themselves much more.  I believe they will learn the VALUE of the dollar when it is their dollar.


My brother's girlfriend is very frugal and is an expert at saving money.  She has just started a website to help others learn her money saving efforts...

Check out her site:  Super Saving Sense With Sara 



I hope I have inspired you to think a little about how you live and where you may be able to cut back, save and live SIMPLY.

As I said before - you never know when YOU may be forced to! 

xoxo
Janean





Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Can there be an "effortless" life?





I have come to the realization that life is really just one effort after the other.   
Seriously - is it not?  
One conscious exertion of power after the other all rolled up and called LIFE.


I was asked recently; "What one thing do you desire your life to be that it is not right now?"
My answer is EFFORTLESS!


Perhaps I am getting old and tired - but I am lacking the energy to put forth effort.  My conscious exertion lacks.  I am conscious alright - I just do not have the power behind it!


Think about it.  Everything we do requires an effort.  Getting out of bed in the morning when I am tired - requires effort.  Getting my kids all ready and out the door for school  - requires LOTS of effort!  Getting them to school ON TIME - still more effort.  


Marriage - takes EFFORT.  Friendship - takes EFFORT.  Worship - takes EFFORT.  Just being alive - takes EFFORT.


So, I ask... is there such a thing as an effortless life?  Perhaps not.  


SO what is one to do when they are running out of energy.  You can not put forth EFFORT without energy. 


I know - practice what I preach!  PRAY.
Matthew 11:28 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Okay God.  Here I am.  I am weary.  I am burdened.  


I am now awaiting rest.  I will wait on the Lord.  Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.


I know this - I am just a sinful human and I want my rest NOW.  Don't we all?!  See, I am no different than the rest of the world.  


I will find rest for my weary soul - I am going to spend time in prayer this afternoon.  I am going to the Refinery so the kids can play and I can pray.


Tomorrow is Taylor's court hearing and it will require a lot of effort.  Stace will take him and I will get the other 3 boys to school and meet them over there.  I pray for a positive outcome and know all is in God's hands.


Pray for my strength and my conscious exertion of power.  Pray that my efforts are not wasted and that we can rest peacefully in the palm of God's hand.


XOXO
Janean

Monday, September 28, 2009

My boys...



Is it really Monday?



Being thankful for tiny blessings...


We had a very busy weekend.  Friday I went to the Civil Forum at Saddleback Church and had the pleasure of hearing President Kagame of Rwanda and Yale professor Miroslav Volf as they talked about the transformational power of reconciliation and how it reunified their people after a debilitating genocide.   It was fascinating!  President Kagame is one of the most humble people I have ever heard speak.  I look even more forward to visiting Rwanda now!  If you wish to watch it - you can do so by clicking this link...



Church this weekend with Pastor Doug was amazing!  Part 3 The Commitment Choice.  It is a "must see" - it will be available soon here - LIVE and ARCHIVED

Yesterday I photographed a Baby Shower and the little precious one above.  She is Elana Jo and entered the world just a few days ago.  I was able to take my boys with me as it was held at a Park and they were invited to come along.  The park was packed with lots of families playing with their kids.  We had lots of adults watching the 5-6 kids that were with the Baby Shower.  

At one point Turner came to me and asked if he could go somewhere with a man.  I told him absolutely NOT.  I asked him WHAT man and he said that an "old man" asked him to go off and catch lizards with him.  He scanned the park and pointed out an older man that I had seen earlier sitting on a bench watching the kids.  He was far away at this point and going down a walking path in a wooded area.  My heart stopped.  As I looked around the world seemed a blur.  My head was spinning and in my mind I was screaming - "This is how it happens!"  This is how children are snatched away from their parents never to be seen again.  

I bent down and hugged and kissed him showering him with PRAISE!  I told him what a good boy he was for NOT going off and for coming and telling mommy!  I talked to him again about "strangers" and he looked at me with his slate blue eyes and said "But mom, he was a nice Grandpa man.  He was not a scary stranger!"  It was a time to teach.  A time to feel blessed.  A time to hug my boy a bit tighter.  

We forget that in an INSTANT our lives can change.  We need to recognize the little blessings in each and every day and be thankful for them.  I do not know what I would do if I "lost" one of my boys.  I feel my world would crumble.  I thank the Lord for reminding me how precious life is.

Today I will spend more time listening to what my kids have to say.  I will give them extra hugs, extra patience and an abundance of love.  They may not understand why, but I will.  

I will spend time praying for Taylor as he goes to court on Wednesday.  I do not want to "lose" him to the system.  He has come a long way in the past month with his addiction.  He has been clean and sober for a month now.  For that I am thankful.  

So if you are a parent - take time to thank God for the tiny blessings - you never know when they will be gone.

XOXO
Janean

Saturday, September 26, 2009

You think I am a WHAT?!



Recently I was contacted by a writer that wanted to do a story on me.  She said she had been following "us" for quite sometime and her editor was interested in featuring us in a piece.


I agreed and have been answering her questions via telephone conversations and emails.


Yesterday she sent me a "rough draft" titled - "Janean Lindner: VICTIM of Circumstance or Declining Economy?"


I nearly fell off the sofa!  I sat dumbfounded with my mouth gaping open.  My little guy Trevan came in the room and said - "Mom - why do you look like that?"


I know I have been a bit emotional lately due to the stresses of life combined with lack of sleep - but I felt so offended that this is what she thinks of me.  A VICTIM?  Really?


If I died tomorrow I would want my kids not to think of me this way!  I am NO VICTIM!  I am a SURVIVOR!  I CHOOSE joy.  I CHOOSE hope.  I CHOOSE to have faith.  I am not nor ever will be a VICTIM!


I can not believe that if she really took the time to read my blog that she came away with this impression.  I called her right away and asked "WHY" the title.  She then told me that they were interested in evoking sympathy in their readers and that they wanted to write about an ordinary mom living an ordinary life that fell VICTIM to either circumstance or the declining economy.


I quickly attempted to let her know that people only like to read other people's sorrow filled storied to make their own lives seem better.  Isn't it better given the emotional state of the nation to write to INSPIRE people to rise above and not allow themselves to become VICTIMS?  I asked her to convey to her editor that I want to be featured as a VICTOR.  I want people to have hope that they too can keep on keeping on with God's help.  We can not do anything on our own volition.  We NEED GOD.  We were made to need him.


I want people to see that when mountains are placed in my path, I choose, with God's help to climb the mountain and then shout from the top.  I then relish in the downward climb until the next mountain comes along.  I draw strength from the challenges and the trials so that I can share with and help others along their climb.


I am anxiously awaiting the reply and it will be interesting to see where this story goes!
xoxo
Janean

Friday, September 25, 2009

Sounding off...





There are times in life when you need to blow off some steam and this is one of them.  My day today started off with the storm clouds of life looming overhead.  I try very hard to remain an optimist but there are days where I falter.  So if you are reading this - I am sorry - but I am gonna let off some steam!



Perhaps I am just tired.  Having to be responsible for 4 boys and myself is a tiring job.  I try to do all that I do with an attitude of service.  I am serving my kids and family and get satisfaction in knowing that they are being taken care of.  Our week is packed with school and church activities and I have tried not to over schedule.  


Turner is doing well at his new school in his Special Day Class and is thriving.  Praise the Lord.  This is why we moved to Irvine - to get him special services so he could succeed.


Now for Trevan... 

Trevan is off to a rough start.  In my minds eye I thought that Kindergarten was a year where children came to "learn" the fundamentals.  Preschool is not a state requirement and if schools expect kids to come to Kindergarten reading and writing then the state should mandate preschool.  I was not in a position with all that was going on with our life to be able to work with Trevan intensely or be able to afford to put him into preschool.  Now I am faced with the guilt of setting him up to fail.


Perhaps I am being sensitive.  But when he went for his "Kindergarten Assessment" and I was told that he was not what they were looking for I felt he was doomed.  He comes home with RED notes stating that he needed "Teacher Support".  Okay - well - he is just learning.  Who doesn't need support when trying a new task like holding a pencil and learning how to write?  He sits still in class - follows directions well - participates and is not disruptive.


I went into the office after getting yet more negative notes on his papers yesterday.  He also "marked on another student's journal page" and was punished.  Now I am not saying he is an angel - but is he not allowed to be a typical 5 year old?  Is he not afforded to opportunity to LEARN?



I was given some programs to call on this morning.  I called to find out that I am screwed.  I am frustrated in the fact that I can not pull him out of Kindergarten and place him in a HEAD START Program because he is already 5.  They will not take him unless he is 4.  SO my option is to PAY $200 every 10 weeks for a 2 day a week - 2 hour a day program called "Kindergarten Readiness".  He can only attend this if he is NOT enrolled in school.  Okay - super - what if I do not have the money??


I started to cry when I was given one answer after the other that was less than helpful.  Does the lady on the other end of the phone care that I have already gone head to head this morning with a six year old who did not want mini-wheats for breakfast?  Does she know that he wanted me to drive through McDonalds - which we never do - and buy him cini-mini's??  When I told him we did not have money for that he cried and told me to "get a job" like his friend's moms!  Does she not know that my 5 year old threw himself on the floor in a crying mess because the shoes that the school requires him to wear pinch his heels?  Does she know that I had no Splenda for my beloved coffee and I am functioning without my boost of caffeine?  Can she know that I have already driven 3 kids to 2 different schools and have been up since 6am?  NO!


I stopped to compose myself and thank her for her less than useful information.  She offered to call around and get answers for me - which I appreciated.  I finally found out that this problem is the schools responsibility.  My son from the age of 5 to age 18 by law is afforded the opportunity of an education and that is their job - to educate.  So, now I am waiting to hear from the Principal and School Psychologist for a meeting date.


WHEW!  So many things to handle so early in the morning makes my head spin.  I am not a morning person, although I am forced to be. 


My poor husband is working himself to the bone - now 6 days a week and we are barely scraping by.  We no longer receive any help from the state as we did the year following his accident.  Food is a rare commodity in the house - the kids eat so much - I am shocked!  We need a cow - to keep up on the milk consumption.  I have continued to apply for jobs for Taylor and Stace to no avail.  Trenton has gotten taller and needs new clothes and shoes.  Taylor has gained SO much weight from being clean and sober that he too has grown a size or two and needs pants and tees.  It is endless.  


I continue to pray.  I continue to have faith.  I continue to hope.  I know God is with us.  He will not forsake us.  He has gotten us this far and know He has a mighty plan.  So I will stop wallowing in the storms of life - look for the clearing in the gray clouds and embrace the sunshine.


I am determined.  I am stubborn.  I am driven.  I will succeed.  I will be an advocate for my son.  He will learn to read and write and I will help him every step of the way!  There may be some thunder and lightening but there will be a rainbow at the end of this storm - I promise!


xoxo
Janean

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Need your help...

I really do not know WHO reads my blog.  I know a few family members and friends that tell me from time to time that they do - BUT... I have been contacted by a writer who has asked me - 


"Who reads your blog and why?"


She would like to do a piece on me and part of the "story" is why I blog - and who does it matter to, if anyone.  So, if you read my blog updates and care to share...


Please drop me a line telling me how you found my blog, how long you have been following, why you read it and what you like about it.

janeanlindner@mac.com



MANY THANKS!
xoxo
Janean

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Dream...


If you can imagine it you can create it. 
If you can dream it, you can become it.

Oh to be a kid again and dream your DREAMS.  I remember being a little girl and laying under a huge shady oak tree in the front yard of my Grandmother and Granddad.  The tree was enormous.  It was old and had stood the test of time.  The roots ran deep and were gnarled at the base of the trunk.  I had a special spot that I could lay on a soft mossy covered mound and lay my head.  I could look all the way up the tree spying a gray squirrel that lived there year after year.  

My Granddad called him Charlie.

I would lay as still as I could so that Charlie would not know I was there - intruding on his home.  I would watch him scurry down the tree and stuff acorns in his mouth.  He would run back up to deposit them for winter.  I could see they blue sky through the branches my view dotted with green leaves.  I would lay there for long periods of time "dreaming' of what I would become one day.  

A MOTHER.  A TEACHER.  A DOCTOR.  AN ACTRESS.  A SINGER.  AN ARTIST.  


The options were endless.  As a kid I did not think there was anything that I couldn't do.  It was not until I started to grow up and seeds of doubt were planted.


Those were the days.  Hot summer days spent running barefoot in the soft green grass.  Terrified of grasshoppers I would run with my eyes shut as fast as I could from my front yard to the neighbor's, where a little girl named Crystal lived.  We would play for hours in her room, in her basement or in her back yard.  We created make believe houses with old bed sheets tied to the chain link fence, secured at the corners with big rocks.  We took refuge from the hot sun and humid air in our "fort".  We would play with our dolls and make believe we were mommies.  


We had no DVDs, no video games, no computers, no elaborate toys to play with.  We were left with only our imaginations.  We played school and spent hours playing with a cassette tape recorder singing and making up songs.  


Our imaginations were a great gift.  One thing that my kids do not exercise often enough.  I wonder if they dream.  Do they have time in our technologically abundant world to be alone with their thoughts to think about their future?  Do they even know HOW?  
I wonder.


What kind of memories will they have of their childhood summers?  Will they remember the feeling of cool grass underfoot?  Will they remember the smell of moss covered mounds?  Will they ever know a squirrel name Charlie?  My kids have never spent enough time running free where grasshoppers dwell to be afraid of them, let alone recognize one!


One day not long ago, I tried to make them an old fashioned fort in Grandma's back yard.  It lasted all of about five minutes.  They were asking me to put a T.V. in it!  They were whining that they were hot and that the fort was BORING!  


To think that I spent hours in one and was sad when I had to take it down.  What are we doing to our next generation?  Is all this luxury really an asset?  Are Dreams a thing of the past?  


I wonder.


xoxo
Janean

Sunday, September 20, 2009

It's Bigger Than ME~



Little Rwandan Girl

I have been getting emails from people who read my blog.  I LOVE the Feedback!  Thanks for taking the time to drop me a line!  I have been asked this question again and again...


"I am just wondering why you would want to go all the way across the world to AFRICA of all places?"  Another person wrote "You can teach kids here about GOD - why take the risk of getting a disease and going all that way?"

My only good explanation is that "I am being called".  I feel it in my heart.  I feel an urging from God to go and do his work.  This is "so much bigger than me". 



Here is an excerpt from my letter...

In 2005 I stood at Anaheim Stadium for the 25th Anniversary of Saddleback Church's Celebration and learned about Pastor Rick's P.E.A.C.E. Plan.  P.E.A.C.E. is an acronym that stands for "Plant churches, Equip servant leaders, Assist the poor, Care for the sick, and Educate the next generation," Pastor Rick said.  I held up a sign that said "Whatever It Takes" and I meant it.

I have dreamed of traveling to Africa since then.  Times have been tough and the timing has not be right for me to go.  At that time I had 2 small babies.  They are now 5 and 6.  I have watched my friends travel there and have seen how their lives and their children's lives have been transformed.  To be a part of something that is far greater than "you" is truly an amazing gift, opportunity and blessing.  I am so happy that my time has now come.  In June of next year, Trenton and I will be joining our friends old and new.  We will be part of the All Star's P.E.A.C.E. Team traveling to Kigali, Rwanda, Africa.

We will be asking for the Lord's provisions and blessings in raising the funds.  We will be hosting more Garage Sales, Selling items on eBay, Making sacrifices in our daily routines and spending, Recycling cans and bottles, and many more fund raising events.  We will be asking friends and family to support our efforts through prayer and donations.  


Many people are facing challenges economically.  But compared to the people in Rwanda, we are richly blessed!


We know and feel this first hand.  It was so important to me to help support our friends, the Plaza family when they were going to Africa. Even though Stace had been in a car accident and we found ourselves facing becoming homeless  I felt the Lord calling me to sacrifice and help them.  I found a way to give them a small donation and then felt like I was vested in their journey.  It was not much, but it was all I could do.  God knew my heart and I felt blessed to be able to help - even in a small way.  I prayed for them and awaited their email updates.  I could not wait for their return and to hear of their adventure.  Most importantly I got to hear how they changed lives and brought people to know the Lord.

I can't explain why, but I just love the innocence and the beauty of all kids.  I think it is so wondrous that they have such pure and innocent minds.  I feel a great responsibility to share, educate and touch those little lives.  I am going to be a Kid's Small Group Leader this fall.  I am excited to learn from these kids as we journey through Class 101 together.  I am excited to share my journey and how the Lord has been faithful to our family with them.  I am even more excited that they will be a part of my Mission's Trip.  They may not be coming along with me, but can pray for us and be a "part" of the trip in spirit.

I am so blessed to be a part of a wonderful Church.  I am even more blessed to have been touched and led to be a part of something that is SO MUCH BIGGER than me.  I ask that you pray for Trenton and I as we continue on this journey.

I hope that you will be a "part" of something bigger than you by praying for us, with us and helping us realize this dream to go on Mission to Rwanda.

Many Blessings to you!
xoxo
Janean and Trenton Lindner

RWANDA 2010
http://www.rwanda2010.blogspot.com



I hope that this helps answer some of the questions as to WHY...


I thank you in advance for your prayers and support.  Remember every little bit helps!  You can help us save cans and bottles for our Recycling Project, you can donate an item for our silent auction and dinner, you can make a donation.  Most of all - you can PRAY for us to be able to raise the funds, stay healthy and be a successful part of this team!


XoXo
Janean

Saturday, September 19, 2009

HOPE...



I was busy creating 13 entries for Pastor Rick's New Book Cover Contest yesterday.  There were nearly 3000 entries so I am sure my chances are slim - but there is always HOPE - right?


HOPE is the one thing that I had to have the past years with all that we went through.  Without HOPE there would be nothing.  I combined HOPE with my FAITH to just simply keep going on.


I can't wait for his new Book - "The HOPE You Need" to be released on November 17th!


I may not win, but enjoyed the opportunity to be included in the contest!


Today I was looking forward to photographing the Football game of Chris Plaza.  Trenton played on his team 2 years in a row and we are sad that Trenton did not get to play this year.  We were going to go to the game tonight and I was going to take pics.  This afternoon I got struck with a terrible pain in my stomach and dizziness.  I laid in bed contemplating running to the toilet every few minutes.  I am now trying to sit up without the room spinning.  I pray I do not have the flu.  I just CAN'T get sick - there is NO TIME for such a thing!!


Stace has worked 7 days in a row and just got home from working today - he is hot and tired and just announced as he walked in - that he too - feels SICK!


So, say a prayer and HOPE that we do not have the H1N1 Virus or any other for that matter!!  We'll see what tomorrow holds!

XoXo
Janean

Friday, September 18, 2009

My Office...



I am SO Blessed!  I am SO close to the beauty and perfection in nature this is just a short drive from my house!  Many of you know that the Beach is my favorite place in all the world.  It is just amazing.
I had to share this photo with you - it is just so relaxing! So, greeting from "my office"!


Speaking of RELAXING...I had planned on doing a bit of that today.  But after a busy week I am not sure if that will happen.  Tuesday we started the Small Group - God's Healing Choices.  It was great!
Wednesday was the start of Kids Small Groups.  Trenton, Karen, Kabrina and I have been blessed with a great group of kids.  I am so excited to get to know all of them and grow with them this coming year!  I know we will have a lot of fun together!  Much to our surprise - it is the BOYS that are the chatty ones!  Our girls were quiet and subdued! 


Yesterday I volunteered at Trenton's Middle School and that was a lot of fun.  We ended the day watching my friend's son Trey.  The boys played well together and then off to bed.  Today I am taking poor Taylor back to the doctor to see if we can get a handle on the terrible rash that he broke out with on Monday.  He is in pain now and it is spreading like crazy.  We will see what they say today!


I have been sending letters off in an effort to collect Auction Donations for our Dinner and Silent Auction for Rwanda.  I am so pleased by some of the donations!  People can be so wonderful and it warms my heart by the generosity and the giving spirit of some.  Thanks to you if you have donated - it really makes me smile!


So today we end the first full week of school.  Little Turner missed school this week.  Allergies, Asthma - Virus- who knows.  He ran a fever yesterday - and is coughing.  I hope he gets well this weekend so he can go back to school next week!


It seems the sun is up now - and I have a house full of sleeping boys.  Time to make my coffee and rally the troops.  We had no hot water 2 days in a row - seems the boiler was broken in the complex.  Pray that there is some today!  Nothing like starting the day with a COLD shower! 


Off to brew some coffee - another highlight of my day!  Complete with coconut creamer and 3 splenda it is my little slice of bliss...a nice way to start the day!!


On a side note - we are still taking CANS and BOTTLES for our RECYCLING for RWANDA!
Let me know if you can save the for us!!


Blessings!
xoxo
Janean

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Rx For Worry...

 
Some people were born natural worriers.   My husband is one of them.  I try to not be a worry wart but there are times we just can't help it.

Being a mom I worry about my kids.  I would say I have a healthy level of worry - I do not smother them and I do know that God loves them more than I (which must be a heck of a lot!).  I do let go and let God - in many areas.  I have SO many boys and therefor SO many worries - I could not possibly effectively worry enough - so I let God handle things...most of the time!

Yesterday I picked Turner up from school and he had a fever.  He immediately told me he had the "SWINE FLU" and he just might die.  He was so worried.  I hugged him, put a cool cloth on his head when we got home and tried to comfort him the best I knew how.  He then told me that we needed to get to church so he could go in the "BATH-TISMAL" at the Refinery.  Our church has a really cool spot for the teens and outside there is an awesome water feature, waterfall and a baptismal.  The kids are allowed to play in it.  It is a favorite spot with my boys.  

This summer - it said "Baptismal Closed".  They wanted to know why so I briefly explained what Baptism was.  They were present last year when Stace and Trenton were baptized so they had an idea.
I told them when we are baptized we are clean from all past sin and we are now NEW in Christ Jesus.

When I asked Turner WHY he wanted to go to Church to go in the baptismal - he replied..."You said if you take a bath in the BATH-TISMAL you will be all clean and Jesus will make you all new inside.  I am sick and need to get well...so LETS GO!"

Turner being sick thought that going to church and getting "clean" in the BATH-TISMAL would take his sickness away.  

My eyes welled up with tears as I explained that it did not exactly work that way - but almost!!

I was cleaning some things out yesterday, as I tend to TRY to become organized when I feel things are getting out of control.  I came across an old notebook I had when I was in High School.  Inside was a small slip of paper with my grandmother's writing on it - it read:

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave your nor forsake you."  Deuteronomy 31:6
"Perfect love drives out fear."  1 John 4:18

I do not know why she sent me those verses - but they made me stop and remember that no matter what my worry may be - I must remember that the perfect love of Jesus is always with me...AND my kids.

So, I will not worry about Turner's sickness.  I will not worry about financial burdens.  I will not worry about my struggle to lose weight and my health.  I will give these worries over to God, as he says in Matthew 28-30...
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Hard to remember sometimes.  Sometimes we just give in to worry - when we don't even have to!

Now - off to the BEACH to photograph some BEAUTY and be "worry free" for a couple hours!

xoxo
Janean

Monday, September 14, 2009

What a weekend!


I had a gloriously tiring weekend!  I helped at Church on Saturday and Sunday with handing out the materials for Kids Small Groups that start this week!  I am so excited!  I enjoyed helping out very much.  It is amazing the satisfaction you receive when you give of yourself.  I was made for service!


I had the pleasure of "going to work" on Saturday morning to photograph little Evelyn.  I have watched her grow the past two years.  She is just a little doll!  While at the beach her mama said - "Look this is your office!"  She is right.  I am SO blessed to have God's beautiful earth as my "office".  


Yesterday I joined the PICS Ministry at Church.  I look forward to completing assignments and sharing my gift of photography with my congregation.


Life's Healing Choices started this weekend and I will lead a Bible Study this Tuesday.  I am anxious to meet the members of our new group.  I know God will bring the perfect mix of individuals together to grow in His word.  Tuesday morning I will be working in Trevan's Class - and look forward to meeting all the kiddos that he spends his mornings with.



WEDNESDAY night!  Start of Kids Small Groups!!  My little guys are starting in their very own "Bible Study".  They will be with the same group for almost a year!  I am so excited for them to make friends and have a great time while growing in their faith.  I am even more excited to be a Leader!  Trenton and I are leading a 101 Group with Karen Cressey and her daughter Kabrina.  I can't wait to meet all the smiling faces in our group!

Thursday I am volunteering at Trenton's school helping to label the kids P.E. Uniforms.  I can't wait to meet some moms and get involved there!

So as you can see I will be busy and I hope to be of service in all that I do.  I know I am wonderfully made in Christ and part of my shape and purpose is to serve others.  I enjoy this very much and pray that I do the best job that I can!


Here are a few more shots from my photo shoot with lil Evelyn...

 
 
  
xoxo
Janean

Friday, September 11, 2009

And they are off!

 
The Kids are OFF to SCHOOL!

Yesterday was an eventful day.  Turner and Trevan had a good day at their new school  Trenton had an orientation and today is his "official" first day.  We got everyone off to school, got them all picked up.  Had a busy afternoon and evening.  I am trying to get into the mojo of the back to school routine.

It is a tiring process.  But I will muddle through!  Yesterday was our 21st Wedding Anniversary - with no hoopla or pomp and circumstance.  I do not think Stace even as much as kissed me yesterday.
We were like 2 ships passing in the night.  Perhaps another time - we can reflect on the long journey of what is referred to as "married life".  One day, when kids are not starting new schools, when socks do not need to be found, when lunches don't have to be packed, when laundry is not piled in the baskets, when papers do not have to be filled out and returned to schools, when the house does not need straightening and when kids do not need bathed and put to bed.  I am sure I left half a dozen things out - but you get the point!


Having kids is a full time job and sometimes being a "wife" and all that is required to "fill that position" takes a backseat.  I know, God first; husband second then kids.  I just have a really hard time being all that I am suppose to be to all those in my life.  It is a weakness - we are all weak in some way or another.  So I have room for improvement.  


I got the kids off to school then went to Church to help out.  I had a blast.  I got Trevan picked up in time and home for lunch.  Today I will prepare a nice meatloaf (Stace and Taylor's favorite) and try to make amends with my husband by way of a nice dinner.  Hopefully he will not be home too late to eat it and it will be to his satisfaction.  We shall see!  All I can do is try!  Afterall - isn't it the thought that counts?  I am a good cook that is not the issue.  It just seems that Stace thinks he is the BETTER cook - so he tends to critique my work.  I am use to it now - after 21 years.  As irritating as it is - I have to just let it roll off.  He is who he is.  He can never know what it is like being a mom and I will not know his lot in life as a dad.  It is what it is!



Now - off to coach Taylor on finding a job.  This is a dubious task.  He is doing well at the moment - thank the Lord.  Each day is a new day and poses challenges.  I am thankful for each day he does not use.  He is pretty high maintenance and does not always get along with the lil guys so this is stressful for me.  Pray that he finds suitable employment soon - not too far away and that he will gain some independence.  Having an "adult child" is harder than having little ones.  God gave me these kids for a reason and I am doing my darndest to do the best job I can!


So - with that I will go forth and make meatloaf, then pick up Turner and then take Taylor to apply for a job at Target!  All in a days work!
xoxo
Janean

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Sending them off . . .

 
Sending them off with Kisses and Hugs...

Tomorrow will be the first day of school for 3 of my boys and my 21st Wedding Anniversary.  I will be sending the boys and man I am married to, off on their journeys with KISSES and HUGS.

Trenton enters 8th Grade at a new school.  Turner enters 1st Grade, in Special Day Classes also in a new school.  Little Trevan will begin Kindergarten.  WOW.  I did not think a few years ago that this day would come soon enough!  Now it is here and I wonder where the years have gone.  One melding into the next until they all seem like a big blur.

What shall I do with my 3 hours?  I am sure I will find something to do.  I am hoping to get a workout in, pick up the house and think about dinner.  Once I get Trevan from school we will have 3 more hours before the other two are home.

I am doing mountains of laundry in my parents garage and I sit here with the back door ajar and a nice breeze blowing over me.  My boys are playing out front, within earshot and I have a moment of peace between folding and loading more into the washer.  I think of how I have been humbled this past year or two and am thankful for the experiences that I have had.  Painful at times, but necessary.

I know the Lord uses people, experiences and trials to shape us.  Just as my boys will gain experience tomorrow doing something outside their comfort zones.  Making new friends, experiencing a new school, meeting a new teacher.  Scary...but necessary.

I am a bit amazed too, that Stace and I have hung in there in the marriage game for 21 years.  No, it is not all marital bliss - or any kind of bliss for that matter.  What the heck IS "bliss"?  
It is work.  We got married.  No one said it would last.  We met on a cold day in January and were engaged just a month later on a colder day in February.  We then married on a HOT day in September.  We moved.  We built a house or two.  We had 4 boys.  We are still working to raise them.  Maybe one day there will be time for us.  Who knows.  But for now, we have another year under the belt called "marriage".  Happy Anniversary Stace!
I don't expect flowers or a gift.  We are way past that.  There is no money for a nice dinner.  We will wish one another a "happy anniversary" and that will be that.

Well, back to this game called LIFE.  My nice breeze has died down and I hear the dryer coming to a stop.  Time to fold warm clothes and complete yet another load.  At least the kids and Stace will have clean clothes tomorrow as I hug and kiss them and send them on their way!
XoXo
Janean

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

One year has passed...


A year ago today...

It is hard to believe that a year ago today I received the dreaded phone call.  I picked up the receiver to hear a frantic woman saying "You don't know me but...your husband has been in a serious car accident."  

Our world changed.  It was September 8, 2008.  Two days before our 20 year wedding anniversary.  I had a sinking feeling that I was going to bury my husband on our anniversary.  That did not happen, thank the Lord.  But what followed was a long - year long journey.

We were financially devastated, but the Lord provided.  We lost the dwelling we called home and most everything in it, but the Lord provided us with a hotel room to call home for a few months.  Now we are in a small apartment.  Stace was injured, but the Lord has healed him.  He is almost as good as new!  He was without work for 8 months and is now working again.

Things have been far from easy.  The kids have had a hard time transitioning.  But we have stuck in there and had faith each step of the way.  Hope has been my life raft.  Without HOPE there is nothing.
I thank all who have been with us each step of the way, praying for us and caring for us.  Without your support we would have been lost.  We had so many people showing us the love of Christ.  Just when we felt He was far away someone would come along and brighten our world.  It is the simple things that mean so much.  A card.  A giftcard.  A phone call.  A hug.  THANK YOU! 


Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Tomorrow Trenton will start a new school in a new district.  I know he is uneasy.  Thursday Turner will also start a new school and Trevan will go for the first time.  Lots of "firsts".  A time of apprehension.  I pray that each of them will have a positive experience.  I pray for all the kids as they go back to school this year.


I am excited that Trenton and I are leading a Kids Small Group this fall.  We start on September 16th.  I look forward to meeting the 10 boys and girls and going on a journey of a different kind with them!  Pray that we will all grow in Christ and have a wonderful bond of love and friendship!


Off to get some last minute things done and thank the Lord for this day!
xoxo
Janean

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Rwanda Bound! June 2010!



Thanks to all who helped out with our Road To Rwanda Garage Sale!  Together with the Sale and the batch of Recycling we made almost $1000!


In 2005 I stood at Anaheim Stadium for the 25th Anniversary of Saddleback Church's Celebration and learned about Pastor Rick's P.E.A.C.E. Plan.  P.E.A.C.E. is an acronym that stands for "Plant churches, Equip servant leaders, Assist the poor, Care for the sick, and Educate the next generation," Pastor Rick said.  I held up a sign that said "Whatever It Takes" and I meant it.

I have dreamed of traveling to Africa since then.  Times have been tough and the timing has not be right for me to go.  At that time I had 2 small babies.  They are now 5 and 6.  I have watched my friends travel there and have seen how their lives and their children's lives have been transformed.  To be a part of something that is far greater than "you" is truly an amazing gift, opportunity and blessing.  I am so happy that my time has now come.  In June of next year, Trenton and I will be joining our friends old and new.  We will be part of the All Star's P.E.A.C.E. Team traveling to Kigali, Rwanda, Africa. 

We will be asking for the Lord's provisions and blessings in raising the funds.  We will be hosting more Garage Sales, Selling items on eBay, Making sacrifices in our daily routines and spending, Recycling cans and bottles, and many more fund raising events.  We will be asking friends and family to support our efforts through prayer and donations.  Many people are facing challenges economically.  We know and feel this first hand.  It was so important to me to help support our friends, the Plaza family when they were going to Africa. Even though Stace had been in a car accident and we found ourselves facing becoming homeless  I felt the Lord calling me to sacrifice and help them.  I found a way to give them a small donation and then felt like I was vested in their journey.  It was not much, but it was all I could do.  God knew my heart and I felt blessed to be able to help - even in a small way.  I prayed for them and awaited their email updates.  I could not wait for their return and to hear of their adventure.  Most importantly I got to hear how they changed lives and brought people to know the Lord. 

If you know me, you know I LOVE children.  I have since I was very small.  I have always had a heart for those sweet brown eyes of the kids in other countries.  They melt my soul.  




I have had the awesome experience of loving Bryson and Benjamin, my adopted nephews.  They are African American.  Having them join our family has really opened our hearts and minds to the differences in ethnicities.  We have a greater appreciation for our backgrounds, history and how they differ.  They say opposites attract.  

 That is so true.  I have loved watching their brown skin grow browner.  I can't keep my hands out of their curly hair.  I love their beautiful eyes and full lips.  They both possess talents that my kids do not.  I could never imagine our family without them.  I love them with all my heart and soul.  We are so thankful to have them be a part of our family.  I am proud of them.  They are smart, wise and we have learned so much from them.


We learned a valuable lesson a couple years ago - that love is blind.  Turner who is younger than Bryson and Ben had apparently never noticed that his cousins skin was darker than his.  He and Bryson were playing a game where you place your hands under other person's and then try to pull your hands out and slap theirs before they pull away.  Bryson's hands were on top of Turners.  All of a sudden Turner grabbed Bryson's hand in both of his and drew it up close to his face.  He then turned with a shocked look on his face and exclaimed "Oh my goodness!  Bryson has BROWN skin!  HOW did he GET THAT?!"  We all broke into laughter, which hurt Turner's feelings.  Turner was four years old.  He had never taken note of the differences between he and his cousin. 

I can't explain why, but I just love the innocence and the beauty of all kids.  I think it is so wondrous that they have such pure and innocent minds.  I feel a great responsibility to share, educate and touch those little lives.  I am going to be a Kid's Small Group Leader this fall.  I am excited to learn from these kids as we journey through Class 101 together.  I am excited to share my journey and how the Lord has been faithful to our family with them.  I am even more excited that they will be a part of my Mission's Trip.  They may not be coming along with me, but can pray for us and be a "part" of the trip in spirit. 

I am so blessed to be a part of a wonderful Church.  I am even more blessed to have been touched and led to be a part of something that is SO MUCH BIGGER than me.  I ask that you pray for Trenton and I as we continue on this journey.  I hope that you will be a "part" of something bigger than you by praying for us, with us and helping us realize this dream to go on Mission to Rwanda.

Many Blessings to you!
xoxo
Janean

Friday, September 4, 2009

STILL TAKING DONATIONS!!

 
TAKING DONATIONS TONIGHT FROM 6-8pm
For Our...
   <><   <><   ROAD TO RWANDA GARAGE SALE  <><   <><  

Off Los Alisos & Trabuco @ 26531 Via Juanita, Mission Viejo, CA

Saturday September 5th ONLY!

Join us as we host the first of MANY Sales to help fund a Missions Trip to RWANDA!
Tons of great merchandise, FURNITURE, CLOTHING, HOUSEHOLD, SPORTS EQUIPMENT, TOYS  - much, much more!

All proceeds will go for our Saddleback Church All Star's Missions Trip to Kigali, Rwanda Africa in June 2010.

http://www.rwanda2010.blogspot.com

Get some great deals and help us help the kids of Kigali at the same time!  You will help touch lives a world away!

TIME:  6am to ???

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Sunshine...



There are still some things in life I can not and perhaps will not ever figure out. 

ONE thing of late is the desire that some people have to be so bristly.  I can't figure out why people invest so much time into being nasty, and negative.  You know the ones.  They want to be the DARK CLOUD on your SUNNY Day.  The only thing I can guess is that they are SO miserable with themselves that they feel and innate desire to try to project these feelings off on others to make themselves feel better.  That must be it.  I do not respond well to nasty.  If people actually think that I will do what they want me to, by being hideous to me - they are way off base.  Sorry. 

I have a confession...I DESPISE Bristly People.  I know, I know.  I must love thy neighbor as thyself.  It is a weakness of mine.  One that I will work on.  I have brought it to the light, shared it with you and now I have to be held accountable for my lack of tolerance for those who choose to whine their way through life's paths.  I want to say - "Get a GRIP!"  Instead I just go outside and put my face towards the sun and drink in the SUNSHINE.  I own that.  MY Sunshine...MY HAPPINESS.

WHEW!  Glad I got that off my chest. 

Now moving on in a more positive direction.

For those of you who do not know...I am on a mission to get fit BEFORE my Missions Trip to Kigali, RWANDA, Africa.  I have given myself 10 months to lose 30 pounds.  Very doable.  This is 3 pounds a month. 
So, on September 1st I started my journey.

I got weighed, measured AND went to BOOT CAMP.  I barely survived.  I know now my strengths.  I know now my weaknesses.  I am going to use this useful information to guide me in my workout plan, once I can actually move again.  Today I am going to go swimming with the kids - as I pray this will loosen my very sore, stiff body so I may be able to climb the stairs to my apartment once again without screaming out in pain.  I really wish my little iPod Shuffle had not just grown legs and "walked away" as I LOVE music and would love to have that when I go to the gym here at my complex.  Oh well, we can't have everything, right?  Anyone have an extra that they are not using?? :o)

I went to the grocery store last night to purchase much needed "clean foods" to have here.  It seems if the shopping is left to my husband he comes home with loads of junk.  He prefers sweet rolls and chocolate donuts to my yogurt, fruit and granola breakfasts.  His ideas of lunches for the kids are frozen pizzas and mine are fresh fruits, raw veggies and a turkey sandwich.  His favorite dinner is anything Mexican, I swear he was born in the wrong country!  I on the other hand prefer lighter meals with tossed salads, fresh fish, fruits and steamed veggies.  Somehow at the market TAYLOR slipped a box of chocolate donuts and an angel food cake into the cart.  I am exercising great self control and will not indulge in either.  It helps that I think the waxy chocolate covered donuts are gross and I think that Angel Food Cake tastes like cotton with a dab of sugar.  NOT my idea of a good cake.  YUK!

So, as my boys are consuming their LAST chocolate donut for breakfast I will be eating shredded wheat cereal with fruit.  I will then have a yogurt and fresh fruit snack mid morning.  We will go swim.  Then we are cleaning out the remaining closets for things to go to our ROAD TO RWANDA GARAGE SALE - it is THIS Saturday!  I will post the address tomorrow!  Come on out and see us!  We will have LOADS of great stuff to sell!

Off to loosen my very stiff muscles and be productive today.

Gonna find MY SUNSHINE!
XoXo
Janean

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I am still alive!

 
I will start my day backward.  I just returned home after SURVIVING my FIRST Boot Camp!
Whoo - Hoo!  I did not keel over - well almost.  But the important thing is - I did it!  I was like a contestant on the Biggest Loser - I felt like I was going to barf, pass out or just cry - but I kept going.  Of course I can't RUN like the others or hardly do a push up - but I did manage to sweat buckets!

I am going to be so unbelievably sore tomorrow!  I already preloaded some Advil - to help while I sleep.  I have a goal to lose 30 pounds in 10 months - so I am RWANDA READY!  I hope you pray for me each step of the way - as I am gonna need it!  I am old and tired!

I also committed to being a Small Group Leader for the New Study!  I know - I am a KSG Leader - but I can do it!  After all I had a great teacher - Amy Julian!  She was my Small Group Leader for years and she also had  C-Group!  So, Aim - I may be calling you for advice!  Hope you don't mind!

Before my huge fitness feat - I got Trenton registered this morning for his new middle school.  All went well.  Then this afternoon the boys and I took our cans and bottles to recycle for RWANDA.  That was fun!  We made $10.20!  It is a start!

At 2:00 pm lil Trevie had his teacher orientation and the teacher tested him for 10 minutes.  When she was done she told me that he was not very prepared to start school.  My heart sunk.  I know he was nervous and will do great.  Of all my boys he is the one that is MOST ready for almost any new task.  So, tomorrow we are off to get back to school haircuts by Michelle Scott at Jon Paulo - she is bartering her services for mine.  Very cool arrangement!

Then off to do laundry and shop for backpacks, school supplies and then sort and donate items for our Road To Rwanda Garage Sale that is this SATURDAY!  Let me know if you have items to donate!!!

Off to bed  - sore muscles and all!  I can't wait to eat in the morning - I am hungry now!
XOXO
Janean