Monday, July 26, 2010

Weaving my way back...

Trenton and I are home from Africa.  I feel much like this child.  I feel like I am on the outside looking in.  I am tired and overstimulated by this life that at one time was the only life I knew.  Traveling 9000 miles from home and experiencing the simplicity of life that the African people live was amazing on so many levels.  


Most people think that when you travel on Mission that you are doing just that...a MISSION to bring about change and hope.  I must say that I was forever changed in ways that I could not imagine by the lives that I came across. Yes, we taught, we prayed, we touched and we played.  

I do not speak Kinyanrwandan or Swahili.  A smile is universal.  A simple wave accompanied by a cheery "Maraho" or "Jambo" {hello} was enough to evoke a crowd of children yelling "Muzungu" {white person} and running to greet you. 

Their clothes tattered and torn, dusty and dirty.  Their faces smudged with dirt and runny noses abound.  Heads that were shaved, feet that were bare.  Their beautiful smiles, warm soft skin and deep chocolate eyes melted your heart.  Quick to grab your hand, give a hug or take a place on your lap.  There were more children than we had hands or laps to hold.  Some would go from one person to another waiting for a turn to feel a loving touch.


We were able to learn their names but not their story.  You would hold a child and wonder where did they sleep at night?  Did they have a home or a mommy?  Were they hungry or thirsty?  


More often than I can recall I would go to put a child down and they would say so sweetly in a voice so soft you had to strain to hear "food?...water?"  Their eyes fixed on yours awaiting a response.  Your heart would sink to the depths of your soul.  

Knowing that you could not give that one child food or water because a hundred more would come running was enough to tear your heart out.  Embarrassed and ashamed, you would break their intent gaze and look away.  Guilt would flood you head to toe knowing that you would soon board a bus and guzzle a water bottle or two on your way to lunch.  Your mouth dry from all the dust, your stomach growling - you would soon satisfy your needs. 


Leaving them behind with sad eyes, waving at you with their small hands you had to put them out of your mind for the moment or the tears would flow.


How can we be so blessed to live here in America when there are so many beautiful children suffering?
Why and what.  Why must it be this way and what can we do?


I have many stories to tell.  Many divine appointments to share.  I am just trying to weave my way back into this overindulgent lifestyle that I have always known.  When I can come to grips with our ways and rest up I will share more with you.


Just know that if you are reading this, you are blessed.  You have been chosen.  You can make a difference.  Are you prepared to live simply so that others may simply live?  


My .mac account was up for renewal while I was away.  It is $99 a year.  I don't have the $99 to pay it and when I think about how much food $99 would provide for people who earn less than $300 a year {if they are fortunate enough} I am not sure if I will renew it or not.  So in the meantime if you wish to email me you may do so at justjanean@yahoo.com


Until next time...
XOXO
Janean