Thursday, January 28, 2010

Will there be a new chapter?


When we become parents there are no guarantees.  Such is life.  I am praying that there will be a new chapter in our lives as Taylor hits a rock bottom.  It is not his first rock bottom and may not be his last - but I can pray that it is.

I pray that the new chapter that we will embark upon will be one of healing and success.  This is always the hope of a parent.  We pray that we do the best job that we can and that our kids end up successful.  We have our hopes and dreams for their lives.  Whatever that may look like.  

Each person has a different yardstick in which they gauge success.  For one child it may be simply graduating high school and finding a career that they are suited for, shaped for and that they will be gainfully employed and happy.  A success.  For another child it may mean a scholarship to a great college, graduating with a degree and doing something they love as their lifelong career.  A success.  For another it may simply be overcoming drug and alcohol addiction and learning to live with mental illness and a brain injury, then getting a stable job and making ends meet.  A success.

I am not here to judge my children, but am here to guide them and support them the best I know how.  I am blessed that the Lord is placing people in our path that care to lend an ear, send a caring email and let us know that they are not criticizing our choices but are helping us along with prayer and support.

I can't say that I am necessary the happiest that I have ever been.  But I do have a good life.  I am learning to live simply so that we can simply live. 

I appreciate people and their differences more today than I ever have.  I appreciate simple things like a friend buying me a mega pack of toilet paper.  I enjoy a simple cup of coffee and a sinful treat that is not on my diet.  I have learned who in my life drains me and who energizes my inner soul.  

I know that I am allowed to break down, stumble and fall.  I also know that I have awesome friends and family that I can call on to help me up and set me back on my path.  When all else fails and I feel like I can't go on, the Lord is here to carry me in the palm of His mighty hand.  For that I am grateful - that is my guarantee.  The only guarantee in life.

That is all I need.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010


At times I can do nothing but...PRAY.  

Taylor missed the bus that was to take him from the Homeless Shelter to the Community Center where he was to stay from 9:00am to 3:00pm.  He is not allowed back in the Shelter until 3:00pm.  He has no money and made a collect call to us asking us to bring him money for food and take him from Anaheim to Santa Ana.  I had to say a prayer and tell him "No."

Our actions have consequences and he needs to learn this.  Tough as it is.  Having Taylor removed from our home has taken a toll on the other 3 kids.  They already miss Taylor and do not understand.  Trevan thinks that if he is naughty we may take him and drop him off to live in another home, like we did yesterday with Taylor.  They know Taylor has issues but at the tender ages of 5 and 6 have no comprehension of addiction and mental illness.

I told Trevan and Turner they can pray for their brother to be healed.  I was so thrilled this morning when I got the email from the author of this new book - "This Little Prayer Of Mine".  My boys have been learning to pray at Kids Small Group at Church and they are great little prayer warriors.  I am so anxious to get this book for them.  

Anthony DeStefano also wrote the books:   

Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To…


A Travel Guide to Heaven

Prayer will be a great source of comfort for us as we take yet another journey with our prodigal son, Taylor.  

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you..." Luke 15:21 

We pray that the Lord returns our son to us - the fair haired blue eyed boy - the one who wanted to serve Jesus and become a Pastor when he was just 8 years old.  Nothing is impossible with God - we know this and will cling to this promise as we take it one day at a time... 



Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Tough Love...For the Greater Good...

I am finding it hard to find the words to describe the feeling I have at this moment as I drive away from leaving my own flesh and blood in an Emergency Homeless Shelter.  We found ourselves here in front of a large home in Anaheim.  It is situated in a busy neighborhood.  A black lab runs freely around the nearby cul-de-sac dragging it's front leg that is lame.  A mailman is delivering the mail.  We make our way into the "shelter" home to find it neat and tidy but not clean.  The decor is dark wood paneling a look I remember from the 70's with a dark wooden floor that has dirt and leaves that has blown against the baseboards and collected there in a neat line.  The large family room sports a big television and cloth sofa and love seat with a teal and peach tropical print from the 80's.  The "manager on duty" was very nice and shared that she has been homeless for 4 months and will be moving soon to another home.  A small frail lady comes around the corner speaking loudly "WHO IS HERE?" she shouts.  Her large eyeglasses have slid down her small nose and her long gray hair is matted to her head.  She seemed disoriented and awkward as we introduced ourselves.  She in a flash turned and disappeared behind a wall. 

Taylor looked at me in amazement with fear in his eyes.  I knew with every  fiber of his being he wanted to bolt for the door.  I hugged him and he was staring me in the eyes begging me not to leave him there.

Tough love. 

Our hand was forced by his lack of self control.  The abyss of his addiction has plunged us to these measures.  Last night he was hospitalized for the 8th time in less than a year.  He shoplifted a bottle of gin and consumed nearly 750 ml.  He grew horribly ill and we feared his body could not handle the flood of this poison.  A week ago he tried to cut himself and was hospitalized.  Hours after his release he was gone.  He got high and intoxicated and was found wandering the street 3 miles from home.  He was arrested on 1 count of "under the influence of a controlled substance".  Saturday night he stole money from us and came home yet again high and drunk.  We told him that enough was enough and we needed him to make a choice to get help or move out.  

Sunday he got enraged when he wanted money and his father said "NO".  He became physical with his dad and we knew that come Monday we needed to find a new plan to help him help himself.  We called his Care Coordinator that was assigned after his first incident last March and he was to interview with Phoenix House this morning for re-hab placement.  Before I could even tell him - he had slipped out to the store and stole the bottle of alcohol.

He was held last night and transferred this morning to a county evaluation center.  This is the place that decides the fate of all people who have medi-cal or no private insurance.  We were told that they are an emergency psych assessment facility and they do not feel he meets the criteria to receive help.  He needs drug and alcohol treatment.  We know this.  The drug and alcohol treatment facilities will not take him because he is on meds for his mental health!  No one will help us help our son - yet again.

We stood firm and told him - NO MORE.  We could not have him come home again and run the risk of getting us evicted due to his behavior.  We owe it to the other 3 kids to provide them with a safe, calm home.  Not one where Taylor's unpredictable outbursts sends the little ones crying or puts any of them in harms way.  We can't do it any more.  Taylor breaks all the rules and pushes past all the boundaries.

He was left with no choice other than to agree to an Emergency Homeless Shelter as he awaits placement in a Crisis Residential Treatment Home.  It could be a day - or two weeks.  This place will then treat him for up to 3 weeks while he awaits a bed at a county run drug and alcohol rehab facility.  He goes to court in a week and they may mandate rehab or jail. 

It breaks my heart to know he thinks we are turning our back on him - but it is quite the opposite.  We are doing what has to be done for the greater good.  I only pray that one day the God shaped hole in his heart is filled by the Holy Spirit and he can see we acted out in love. 

I can only pray that a day or two or perhaps a week to a month in a homeless shelter will make him realize that the rules at home were not so bad...  Perhaps 30, 60 or 90 days now will allow him to live for years and years to come not bound by the ugliness of addiction and lack of self control.

A broken hearted mom...

"How blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to them!

I do not expect anyone to understand what choices we have made - as they have not walked a day in my shoes.  I respect that everyone has an opinion and we are all entitled to that.  Please extend kindness and grace and say a prayer for us...

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Own It!

Ryan age 2 photographed during Gabriel's Birthday Party (Gabriel is in Turner's Class)

You have gotta love 2 year olds.  This little man, Ryan captivated me during a Birthday Party that we attended today.  As you can see he was wearing his RAIN BOOTS and he was OWNING IT!  I loved his sense of style and his confidence.  It is so great to see the innocence and unspoiled pureness of a child's heart.

We all should take a lesson from kids.  Wear your rain boots on a sunny day.  March if you want to march, sing if you want to sing.  Dance like no one is watching and enjoy everything you do with a child's perspective.  I wish as a society we were all more accepting of those who are different.  Our world needs a large dose of tolerance!  We are all so different and God made us this way for a purpose.  Our differences make life interesting!  So, why is it that people spend so much time focusing on things that are "out of the box" and acting like that is such a bad thing?

Having 4 boys it is very clear how VERY different we all are.  Each one has things that they love and hate.  Some are so bold in their opinions and some keep it to themselves.

I wish with all my heart that my oldest could OWN his problems.  He is on a downward spiral and try as we may to help him see where he is headed - he won't see...or perhaps can't see.  As a parent watching your kids fall and not being able to pick them up is heartbreaking.  No matter their age - you want to swoop in and rescue them from the world - or from themselves.

Mental illness, brain injury, addiction.  These are all things that make up Taylor.  We have tried to help him time and again.  The lines are blurred as we deal with medical issues.  If he were just a rebellious teen we could take a harder line.  His mental state is a fragile one, combined with his issues with anger and his strong addictions, make it nearly impossible for us to know what to do to help him.

Pray.  I pray and pray.  I ask God to help us help him.  I know that he like the two year old above must OWN IT.  Sadly instead of rockin his rain boots and owning the world - Taylor has to own his addictions, inner demons and mental illness.  Hard things to swallow.  

I will keep you updated - tomorrow we need to make a move towards an intervention.  Taylor will end up dead or in jail if we don't.  So if you will...say a prayer for us, and for Taylor.  Pray for people to come into our lives who can finally make a difference and get through to our son, to help him and to heal him from this ugly disease of drug and alcohol addiction.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010



Happiness is one of the most important treasures. It is within your soul. All you have to do, is dig it out and enjoy it.

There is no need to search for happiness or to create it. There is no need to undergo all kinds of external experiences in order to enjoy it. It is always here, deep within your soul.

Happiness comes from within.
Your attitude decides whether you are happy or not. You can change your attitude.

Happiness is a state of mind. More correctly put, it is the state beyond the mind.
It is our attitude that makes us feel happy or unhappy.

Your thoughts and worries hide away your happiness.
If you smile while you talk, you make people happy.

As we sit today in this winter storm watching the high surf on the news, learning of flooding and road closures we are a bit anxious about leaving tonight to get to church to teach Kids Small Group.

We really did nothing today and most would classify this day as boring.  But I am happy.  Happy to do nothing.  Happy to be inside and warm and dry.  

In a bit we will venture out - braving the rain and wind to go serve a mighty God.  He has called us to serve - so for that I am happy.  I am happy to go and happy to comply.  I will greet my KSG Kids with a smile and let them know how happy I am that they came.

Tonight we are learning about Heaven and what Heaven may be like.  It is after all the HAPPIEST place ever!  

I hope that where ever you are - you are safe, warm and happy.  Remember...Happiness is but a state of mind!


Monday, January 18, 2010

Here comes the rain again...

The loves of my life - my kids and my nieces and nephews...

Rainy days are here!  We got spoiled by the warm southern California winter weather.  We had an interesting day.  It started with me getting up before everyone and having a blissful 2 hours to myself to sip coffee and listen to the rain.  We then lit candles put on 95.9 the fish and listened to music while tidying up the house.  Stace braved the elements and went to the grocery store.  Later we tackled doing laundry in the rain - not so much fun...but got 9 loads done!  We finished the night off with a yummy pork chop dinner with fresh fruit and salad.  Taylor and Trenton took advantage of the break in the rain and walked to the store to buy some yogurt, granola and berries for dessert.

I like it when things are a bit calmer.  Don't get me wrong - the day was filled with playing referee between the boys and moments of frustration...BUT for the most part it was enjoyable.

Now our week will start tomorrow and we are in for lots of rain.  We'll see how getting the kids to school in the rain goes!  I love the rain when you can stay indoors...I hate getting all cold and wet!

I pray that you had a great 3 day weekend!  I got to go see LEAP YEAR for the second time around yesterday and it was as great as the first!  I love movies!  I have now seen LEAP YEAR and IT'S COMPLICATED  - 2 great movies!  I look forward to seeing some of the other romantic comedies that are "Coming Soon".  What a great way to escape life for a couple of hours! is time to hit the hay...
Goodnight all!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Climbing a mountian...

My ROMEO - who lives with my parents now...

Today is a curl up in your jammies and snuggle with your puppy kind of day.  Unfortunately I won't be doing that.  I feel like I could - and wish that it was an option.

Yesterday while in the shower I was pondering over a conversation that I had recently had with someone.  They do not have a strong relationship with Christ and they told me that I was so lucky.  When I inquired as to why they felt this way their answer surprised me.  They said - you are "SO Christian" and therefor you are protected from bad things happening.  

I had to laugh which I think startled them.  I said - I use to think this way about people to a degree, but now I know otherwise.  It seems the closer you get to the Lord and the harder you try to walk on the right path the enemy is after you even more.  

We are going on Mission to Africa.  I have been on 2 other mission trips and know that as the plans come together the enemy works hard to stop the good from happening.  The first time I experienced this it was surreal.  I had heard that this happens - but had not lived it.  It is very real.

I was feeling good that nothing so far has come up since Trenton and I took the leap of faith and made the commitment to go to Rwanda this summer.  I was feeling too good.  Then the other shoe dropped a few hours later.  Taylor who has struggled for a long while suffered a setback and a situation occurred yesterday.  It was very emotionally draining and try as I may to protect all my kids sometimes you just can't.

Taylor was taken to the hospital where he is now and we are going to have another mountain to climb with him.  As a mom it does not matter how old your child is - you still have the innate desire to protect them and help them in any way possible.  When a child suffers mental illness and addiction there are no "mommy fixes".  It kills me to sit by and watch my son struggle just to go on each and every day.

The enemy.  He is attacking me through my family.  He is trying to weaken my core.  I will not let him succeed.  It says in Ephesians 10 -20 :
The Armor of God
 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
 19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

I have to rest in the word and know that "I can do all things thorough Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

So, no.  Just because I profess to be a follower of Christ am I automatically protected from evil.  What I do have is faith and hope that the Lord will never leave me nor forsake me.  He has me in the palm of His hand and He loves my son more than I ever could.  So with that knowledge I am forced to turn him over to God and believe that He will help push us up this mountain.

It is not easy.  It is not fun.  Being a parent is one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever experienced.  But the joy can be overwhelming at times too.  It is a give and a take.  

So I am giving my son over to God so that I may take the joy, or grief that comes.  Whatever will be - will be.  It is all in God's plan.

Help me.  Pray for me to have strength to deal with the things that need to be dealt with.  Pray for us to be strong and help Taylor.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Beyond you...

A bumble bee or "bungle bee" as Trevan calls them - that we took time to notice.

How often in life are you so wrapped up in YOU that you forget to notice the things and people that are beyond you?  Yesterday is gone forever, tomorrow may never come so today is all we really have.

I know that I spend a lot of time wondering, worrying and planning things that may or may not happen beyond today.  I have really learned a lot as I have gotten older and have been put through a few fires.  I still struggle though to enjoy the here and now from time to time.

Today on this warm 70 degree day in January I kicked off my shoes and went to get Turner from school barefoot.  Trevan went along happily leaving his shoes behind.  When my feet hit the soft green grass I stopped and took a moment.  I allowed myself to feel the coolness and damp soft grass beneath my feet.  If only for a moment...but I enjoyed that moment.  We got Turner from class and had him too kick off his shoes.  We then raced through the grass together laughing and giggling.  These are the moments that count.  Going beyond myself and sharing these moments with my kids.

I know people who are so self absorbed that they can't enjoy moments such as these.  They are so consumed with appearances, their status, their homes, etc.  It saddens me that people I know and care about can't take time to go beyond and enjoy life around them.  Not only is it richly rewarding and satisfying it is a stress buster!  I find when I take a deep breath and make an effort to "live life" as it comes I am fulfilled beyond measure.

God blesses us each day with hundreds of great blessings - how many do we take the time to really appreciate?

Tomorrow is a new day.  If it comes, take the time to go beyond YOU and drink in some of life's rich blessings - where ever and how ever they come!


Monday, January 11, 2010


What a great year this is shaping up to be!  I know we are only 11 days in - but hey...gotta be optimistic!  

We had a great time at Disneyland on Friday - it was the boys second time going.  We went with my mom, Chloe, Megan, Trudi and Mari.  The kids were 3 and 4 last time we got to go and now being old and wise at ages 5 and 6 they had a super time!  They braved many of the roller coasters 
(and mom did too) and had a blast.  We were there 13 hours and not one melt down!  It helps tremendously that we are allowed a special pass that allows us to get right on the rides!  We waited longer in lines for our meals than we did to ride any given ride!  The boys can't wait to go again...Turner did not care for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and wishes to do without that one in the future!

Sunday Trenton and I had our second Mission Trip Training and we are happy to report that we were able to turn in our deposit money!  We got more than the required $1000 and now need to raise $4000 by March.  We have a small head start on that goal which makes me so happy!  We got our trip assignments last night and we will be traveling on the second team July 8th to the 23rd.  We couldn't be more pleased with our team!  It is so exciting!  We now have to get passports and raise money for our immunizations which are very costly.  Pray for our fund raising efforts!  We are busy brainstorming now to find a way to raise the over $6000 more that we need!  Email me with any ideas you have!

If you wish to help support us - make a check out to SADDLEBACK CHURCH and mail it to us at:

Janean Lindner
28715 Los Alisos Blvd Ste 7-348
Mission Viejo, CA  92692

NO DONATION IS TOO SMALL!  Dollars add up!  We need all the help we can get! 

Trenton and I are leaders of a Kids Small Group on Wednesday nights - we teach Class 101, How to Know Jesus.  I am so pleased that 5 of our kids are going to be baptized!  We just had Baptism Class on Wednesday and we had over 200 kiddos attend class and 125 that are ready to Baptized for the first time! WOW!  Praise God!  It is such a special moment - I can't wait to be there and witness this!

My goal is to get in shape for RWANDA and try to lose 1 pound a week until we go.  I am already down 4 pounds - so wish me luck and say some prayers for my endurance!  I do not relish exercise!

Have a great day - I am off to do some fund raising!  I am so excited to go to Africa!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

To be free...

Seagull captured at Woodbridge Lake in Irvine, CA

I wish I were as free as a bird sometimes.  No, a lot of the time.  Wouldn't it be great if you could just sprout wings and fly away when you felt like it?  I think it would be just grand!  You would see me flying all over!

I love watching the birds.  Today Trevan and I went to the lake to feed the ducks and ended up feeding the seagulls instead.  They are very clever birds.  Quickly a select few caught on to our game.  They would flock around after circling over head and we would throw little bread balls high into the air so they could catch them in flight.  It was a ton of fun!  We decided that we would come back with Turner and Taylor later in the afternoon.

We did just that.  This time I did not bring my camera and should have.  Turner has such a way with animals.  We frequent the lake often and the swan is so  elusive.  Today as my luck would have it the beautiful bird came gliding over and stood on the step leading to the kids play area.  Turner was there speaking softly to him.  He turned his head this way then that as if he understood Turner's praises.  

"Oh yes, look at you!  You are such a beautiful creature!" he crooned.  "Oh how I love your white feathers!"  he whispered.  He moved slowly and carefully as to not scare the magnificent bird.  I wish I had brought my camera!  Darn it!

Perhaps we can be so lucky again in the near future when mom is more prepared!  If our weather continues to be "Summer-Like" we may have a good chance!

Tomorrow we will be going to Disneyland...the happiest place on earth.  Or, so they say!  Turner and Trevan have only been once and being that Grandpa retired from Disney - we get in FREE!

Ahhh, the best things in life are free!  Free as the birds of the air!

I will be sure to have my camera this time and will let you know how our special day with Grandma, Chloe, Megan, Trudi and Mari is!


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Who could ask for more?

My Rosebud and my Bitty Bee

What a beautiful day in January!  Blue Topaz colored skies, gentle warm breeze blowing, trees with leaves still changing to their fall colors.  I am in heaven!  I am missing my 2 nieces (and my nephies too).  I took the boys to the lake after school today.  "Swan Lake" is what we call it.  Their school is a stone's throw from The North Lake here in Woodbridge.  It is beautiful.  A large bridge with a gazebo and a kiddie park on the shore situated next to a beach.

We took junk foods that I cleared out of the cabinet and tried to lure the elusive swan from it's slumber in the sun.  We tossed corn chips to the ducks from the bridge and the swan became curious.  She then entered the water with the grace that only a swan possesses and glided gently over to check out the menu.  When we broke out the granola with fruit bits that had gotten pushed to the back of the cabinet and was a bit stale for my palate, she became excited.  She flapped her wings and honked at the ducks to insure that she had plenty for her consumption.

I took a seat on a nice bench while the kids played on the equipment.  I scanned my surrounding and took in the splendor and beauty of dozens of seagulls flying overhead.  Their white wings sparkled against the crisp blue sky.  I pointed out this magnificent sight to Trevan who chirped back "Oh Yeah!"  In that moment I missed my Bailee May and Brynnie.  My 2 nieces - the only girls in my life.  Bailee who has a keen eye and love for photography would have appreciated my vantage point.  She would have been along side me snapping photos with an old camera I gave her.

I wish that they lived closer.  I love my girl time.  Curling and brushing their hair and going shopping.  Things I do not get to enjoy with 4 boys!

In a blink they will all be grown up and I will be sad that I missed so much.  

I treasure these moments with my boys, though.  They run and jump chasing the gulls.  They climb and tumble down the slide.  Content to just be boys.  Who could ask for anything more?

I will relish in the rest of this beautiful day and perhaps we will coax daddy to walk to the lake when he gets home, this time camera in hand!

Stay tuned...I'll post photos if we do!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Happy New You!

Taylor, Brenton, Trenton, Bailee, Blaine, Bryson, Ben, Brynne, Trevan and Turner

Happy New YOU and

Happy 65th Birthday to my MAMA~

I have been abundantly blessed this Holiday Season!  I got to share this Holiday with both my brothers and their kids!  We spent time at my parent's house.  It has been a long time since all the cousins were together and a fun time was had by all.  Spending time with those I love is the best gift I could ever get.  We laughed and played.  It was just magnificent!  

So, here we are.  A new year.  It seems that I started this blog a year ago on the way to the NEW ME.  Some things in life you conquer and I am afraid that all the goals and visions I had for 2009 were not realized.  So, such is life.  I now have 2010.  

I took the week after Christmas to "just be" in the moment and enjoy my kids and my nieces and nephews.  Now today is here.  I will make my "bucket list" for this year.  I will do some cleaning of my "Mental Closets" and leap into this new year.  I am filled with HOPE and ENTHUSIASM.  

I love a fresh start.  I am so glad that we are not allowed to travel back in time, as I would be greatly confused if this were the case!  We are forced to move forward and for that I am thankful.

The Lord has blessed us, provided for us and carried us along the past couple of years that have been full of trials and challenges.  This year it is my goal to "give back" to God.  I will make a effort to ask Him where He wants me to go, what He wants me to say and pray that I can do a job that He will be proud of.  I am open for Him to use me for His glory.

Many of you know Trenton and I are going to RWANDA this Summer.  We still have a lot of money to raise for our Trip.  Our first installment is due January 10th.  Please pray with us and ask that the Lord touches the hearts of many to help not only us but the others on our team raise the funds needed.

I am SO excited about going!  I am going to be writing my letter this week and sending out my donation requests.  Each donation is so special to me, as I feel that people are investing in Trenton and I and in a dream that I have always had.  I have wanted to go to Africa since I was a little girl.  My dream has been to experience the world, as we don't often get this chance.  I know I will be forever changed.

I am off to make my "2010 Bucket List" of Goals and Objectives, Dreams and Wishes.  When I am done - I will post it for your entertainment!

Make it a GREAT Day!

OKAY - here is my LIST...

2010 Bucket List of Goals, Wishes and Dreams

( I reserve the right to revise this list on a whim!)

My goals are to...
Concentrate of Growing Spiritually
Raise funds needed to go to RWANDA
Deepen Friendships by spending quality time with people
"Weed" my friend garden
Say "No" more often
Become financially secure
Recharge my marriage and home life by communicating more
Lose 1 pound a week from now until June
Reduce, Reuse and Recycle
Clean out all the Closets
Dig deeper into the technical aspects of photography
Grow my business
Invest in myself
Laugh more
Concentrate more on the "here and NOW" not on "what MAY be"
Take more risks by "putting myself out there" more and not playing it safe
To be more organized

I wish ...
To be less stressed
To be able to afford a larger place with Washer and Dryer (the coin operated community laundry room is killing us!)
To buy some new photo equipment
To be able to "enjoy" exercise
To experience more beauty in nature and take more photo expeditions
To Travel more this year

My dream is...
To have no regrets
To reconnect with old friends
To become all that I can be
To be proud of myself
To realize all my goals and wishes