Monday, August 31, 2009

Lessons Learned Each Day...

Life is full of lessons.  Some, more serious in nature than others - but lessons none the less.  Today was just a day filled with
lessons learned.  

TAYLOR learned that substitutions are not always the answer...

Taylor has not been making the most wise choices and is on the Sh*t List if you will.  In an effort to make a meager attempt to get on my good side he did the dishes.  Instead of informing me that we were out of dishwasher TABS he just thought a few squirts of concentrated dish washing SOAP would do the trick.  About 30 minutes later I came around the corner and nearly landed on my "bum-bum".  SUDS were pouring out of the top, sides and bottom of the dishwasher and creeping across the kitchen floor.  I just had to laugh.  I too had done the same thing when I was a teen.  You just have to laugh sometimes in the face of a disaster!  My floor is really squeaky clean now!

TRENTON learned that there is a reason why God made ME the mom and NOT him.

While in Wal-Mart we put each of the little sprouts in separate carts as to keep them contained and to aide in keeping my sanity.  Trenton had to push one and I pushed the other.  I was having a brain fade and put Trevan (oil) in Trenton's (water) cart.  They do not get along AT ALL.  I seriously do not know why I did not remember this at the time!  Anyway - Trenton has to correct every little thing Trevan does.  After placing a gallon of the ever disappearing milk into the cart between Trevan's legs, he decided he wanted to hold it on his lap to make him cooler.  Trenton had a HUGE issue with this - for reasons still unknown to me.  He proceeded to attempt to grab the milk from him as he leaned over the cart - a struggle ensued and somehow Trevan got popped in the mouth.  I heard a blood curdling scream and before I could turn around I saw that people in the aisle were looking, staring and one lady cupped her hand over her mouth and turned away.  I spun around with my heart pounding to see Trevie screaming, tears spilling down his cheeks, saliva and blood dripping from his mouth.  I quickly assessed the situation to see where the blood was coming from to find 3 punctures in his lip that matched up perfectly with his bottom teeth.  Trenton quickly labeled the incident as an "accident" - but from the looks of the passersby and from my extreme look of displeasure I think ( or hope) he learned a lesson here.

TURNER  learned a lesson in Conviction and Guilt.

We were driving home from Wal-Mart and Turner said; "Mom I have to tell you something. At Chuck E Cheese's when I won the hundred tickets on skeet ball I, um...CHEATED. When no one was looking I stood on the carpet and threw the balls in the 10,000 hole. It made me so scared and made my hair all sweaty. I do not think I will ever do that again! Are you mad at me?" ♥
I just HAD to tell you.  It has been coming into my brain over and over.  I am so - so - sorry.
Life's lesson in conviction and guilt...Need I say more?  How precious is that?!

TREVAN learned that Daddy's sometimes mean well - but can't fulfill their promises.

Trevan LOVES his daddy more than mommy loves chocolate.  He thinks Stace hung the moon and sprinkled the sky with stars.  Stace floats his boat and can do NO wrong.  Every single day he begs, whines, moans and barters to get Daddy to take him to the pool.  He LOVES to swim almost as much as he loves his dad.  Daddy will usually give in and take him.  BUT sometimes he promises that he will "do it tomorrow night".  Being too tired from working he reasons with, begs and finally Trevan will retreat with the promise of tomorrow.  Well today, was tomorrow.  Daddy came home - tired, dirty and just down right exhausted.  Working in the heat doing heavy demo took everything he had out of him.  Trevan saw him coming and got all suited up.  Ready to go to the pool he stood waiting and pounced on Daddy the minute he came in.  "Let's GO! Dad!  You said tomorrow and today is tomorrow!"  Looking at him with tired eyes he said - "Aw buddy - Daddy is so beat - can't I rest?  Just a little bit and we can go after dark for a night swim!  How is that?"  he coaxed.  "NOOOOOO!  I wanna go NOW!"  he whined.  "You PROMISED!"  he reminded.  After going round and round - Trevan learned that he was not going to win.  So he settled for the late night swim.  After returning from Wal-Mart he found Daddy asleep.  "Well - I guess he is not gonna take me NOW!" he cried.  Yes.  Sad but true.  Sometimes promises of yesterday that were meant for today have to wait till another tomorrow!

MOMMY learned that having 4 boys and trying to register 3 of them for a new schools can be a daunting task.

I am wiped out.  I have filled out more forms that I can count.  I have made countless trips to this school, that school, home to fill out forms, back to the schools, home to retrieve more documentation, fill out more papers, write checks, drive here - then there.  I am ready for all this to be  D O N E.  Mama told me there'd be days like this!  

LESSONS LEARNED each day.  I only wonder what tomorrow will bring!


Saturday, August 29, 2009

No Sleepy - Too Creepy ...

I sit here now at 1:51 am writing to you after I sat up waiting to see if and when Taylor would choose to return.  He walked out after a heated discussion regarding our "house rules".  He chooses to be rebellious and disrespectful.  As a parent it is so draining to love someone so much yet watch them destroy their lives under the guise of "adulthood" just because they are now 18.

I was riled up, hot and could not sleep.  I decided to take up a bed on the sofa - which happens to be a small love seat.  The bonus is that it is situated right by the wall mounted air conditioning unit.  I knew I'd have to make a sacrifice and wake up with a kink in my neck and find a way to sleep scrunchy style if I wanted to be cool.

As I finally decided to give in to the heaviness of my eyelids I spotted a nasty, hairy, big spider on the ceiling.  He was across the room - above the T.V. and I had no way to "get him".  I rationalized that he would probably stay to his side of the room and the chances of him actually honing in on me in the night were slim.  I attempted to doze off and every now and again I would open my eyes and scan the rugged popcorn textured ceiling to see if he was approaching.  Darn it!  He was after all coming this direction.  

Creepy.  I hate crawlie things and I am allergic to spider bites.  Another cause for worry to burden my already crowded thoughts.

I decided to just relax and pray.  As I was finally slipping into a blissful state of slumber - I was nearly jolted out of my skin.  I jumped what felt like a foot off the loveseat and imagined leaving my bones behind.  As I felt my skin return to my skeleton the loud knock came again.  

"Oh it the Police?"  I thought as I jumped up.  I stood on my toes to attempt to peer into the darkness through the peep hole that was drilled too high for those who are vertically challenged.  I could not see a darn thing!  I then heard a familiar voice with a dreaded slurring - "MA!! ...MOM!  Open UP!"  it was Taylor.  

I opened the door only to have him nearly knock me over with his now more bulky frame.  He was unsteady on his feet, eyes glazed over and slurring his words.  We proceeded to exchange words - peppered with him telling me "You're Trippin'...Get Outta My Face..."  among "What the $#@% is the BIG deal?" and so on. 

Trying to keep him contained as to not wake the others - I decided that there is no reasoning with unreasonable.  Weather drunk or high there was no getting my point across - this would have to wait until the morning.

After a battle - he literally fell down onto the floor and passed out snoring.  I sat and reflected on what he was like as a little boy who called me "Honey Lamb" and told me I would forever be his "Sweet Peet".  As tears slid down my cheeks I longed to go back and do those days all over again.  If I only knew then what I know now - what could I have done differently I wondered.  Where did we go wrong.  Where did he zig when we zagged?  

I was having a personal pity party when I saw that darn creepy crawlie directly above me.  Angry and upset I would take out my frustrations on this 8 legged monster.  I jumped on the loveseat armed with the golf club from Wii Sports.  I should have known better - the darn thing is made of soft foam.  As I went to squish the creature he came flying down right on to the bed I had made myself.  I got the chills and goosebumps quickly popped up on my arms and legs.

EWWWW Gross - I thought to myself!  I have an impaired snoring son on the floor and now I have to share MY sacred makeshift bed with a SPIDER!  I shook all the covers in a violent fashion watching carefully for him to go flying.  NO LUCK.  Creeped out I decided to take another cold shower.  I returned to once again hunt for him to no avail. 

I can't possibly relax knowing that he could become one of those statistical spiders that you swallow in your sleep.  I don't really believe that is true.  It was printed on a popcicle stick as one of the crazy gross "factoids".  What were they thinking?  Did they intend for you to get so grossed out you would barf then have to consume another of their frozen treats to take your mind off of it?  Perhaps.  One never knows the lengths companies will go for the sake of driving sales up.  

At any rate - who wants to take their chances?  I do not like things crawling on my body when I am awake let alone asleep!  I will attempt to busy myself - writing to you here on my blog and get on Facebook to engage in playing word games, perhaps take a quirky quiz and read about what people are up to at this hour.  All in an attempt to avoid being disrupted and having my personal space infringed upon by a stupid spider!  Maybe I will forget all about him and finally catch a few winks before morning comes and I have to deal with the realities of having a son with serious addictions. 

Big Sigh...

It has been fun - spending a few sleepless minutes with you at this hour.  It is now 2:25 am - and I think I will check out the goings on - on Facebook.
Till tomorrow - oh - it IS tomorrow!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Feelin Hot!...Hot!...Hot!

Feelin Hot!...Hot!...Hot!

Okay is it me - or is it HOT outside?!
I know some of you are in MUCH hotter parts than here in Irvine, CA...but 101 degrees is not my idea of a "warm summer day".  I love warm days.  You know the ones that don't get above 80, have the nice offshore breeze blowing the wisps of hair from your eyes, days.   

I am not a big fan of the DOG GONE HOT days - the blistering, make you sweat from your eyelids to your toenails, can't find any clothing that won't stick to your body, gonna cost you a fortune to run the air conditioning HOT days!
Don't drop me and MY kids on a Survivor Episode in the middle of the desert because I am pretty sure someone would die.  Not of a heat related issue either.  I do not know why the heat inside our tiny apartment that has the itty bitty wall mounted air conditioning unit that is droning on with a strain in the motor in an effort to cool just a teeny portion of the room...causes my boys to FIGHT one another like they are 'Marvelous' Marvin Hagler going against Thomas 'Hit Man' Hearns.  

The heat seems to warp their brains and bring out the brawn.  The worst of it is that my 13 year old goes head to head and toe to toe with my now 5 year old!  It makes me C R A Z Y!  

Today I had had enough!  After they went at it during a migraine headache that I was battling due to the lack of water I was taking in and my body's inability to deal with heat, combined with the fact I had no sleep last night and spent a day in court with TAYLOR - I snapped!
I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the first weapon I could find to wield.  I searched frantically as they were chasing one another in our 12 x 12 living room nearly knocking over my $18 table.

My eye saw it as fast as my hand could grab it.  The dreaded black plastic slotted spoon.  This is not your Grandma's Old Wooden Spoon - they don't make them as strong as "back in the day".  

This is a snazzy Hip and Trendy Black Slotted with a Green Handle, that matches my beachy kitchen SPOON.  I snapped it up and hit it on the counter top as one of them whizzed past me trying to get behind me as a human shield.  They thought twice when they spotted my weapon.
"STOP IT!"  I strained trying to raise my voice in a low, stern growl - careful not to burst the veins pounding in my head.  "YOU!" I said frothing at the mouth with tiny spit bubbles forming - "GET IN MY ROOM!" I said pointing the spoon towards my door.  Trevan took off running to take shelter on my bed.  He was not sure what was up with the spoon as I have not resorted to using kitchen utensils as discipline tools as yet.  

"AND YOU!" I growled pointing the spoon at my teenager.
"BUT...," Trenton began.  "He started it." he retorted.  "I told you to load the dishwasher and take out the trash an HOUR ago!" Now DO IT!" I said making my eyes into tiny slits as I think this helps drive the point home that I am really - really mad.

"WHAT?! You never told me..." he had the audacity to argue.  I inched closer to him with the spoon over head - "DO NOT ARGUE - just DO IT!"  I said raising my voice just a few decibels higher than I had before.  Ducking from me he managed to escape as I made a swing at his butt.

Now I was really HOT - not only in temper but in temperature!  When mama's hot everybody better get outta the way!  I despise being overheated and out of control.  I went over to the wall mounted A/C Unit in an attempt to cool myself off.  

Mildly cool air - not cold mind you was meagerly puffing out.  I wanted to call the leasing agent who, when I expressed a concern while on the apartment tour, told me that these lil babies were highly efficient in cooling the WHOLE PLACE down.  

BALDERDASH! %#@*&;  ... I wanted to take my black slotted spoon right on down to that leasing office and wave it around!  

I thought better of it thank goodness.  

I decided a nice COLD shower would be a great way to remedy the heat.  I pray for a cooling trend - I work much better when it is cooler out!  I hope you are surviving the HEAT of the SUMMER!


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Happy Bithday to MY BABY!

He was a little unexpected Blessing From Heaven, so we named him TREVAN.  He entered the world early as a tiny fragile little guy.  He was a little fighter from the start.  He is tiny, but mighty.  He lights up a room with his smile.  He asks more questions than any 5 year old I have ever seen!  He is a worry wart, and always takes care of his OLDER brothers.  
His favorite color is BLUE, "dark blue" as he says.  He loves books and one of his favorites is "No, No Jack..." He loves music and going to Church.  His favorite song is "Blessed Be Your Name" and he knows all the words.  If he could take a trip he would go to Hawaii.  He thinks his mom and dad are both 40, and that Taylor is 13.  He thinks Trenton is 9 and the only one he has right is Turner - who is 6.

He analyzes situations.  He is very observant.  He cares for everyone and attempts to make meals, he is Turner's keeper and he knows more about MY schedule than I do!  He is not big on "toys" like action figures or cars.  He likes balls, swim fins, skateboards, bikes and rollerblades.  (he only possesses a ball or two and some swim in an apt. makes the others a bit hard!) 
He says his Daddy drills, saws and hammers for his job.  His mommy works on her computer - that's all.  He is obsessed with keeping a schedule and always wants to know what time it is.  He does not like being late...a little like his mom here! 

He loves the beach, is a fish in the pool - he can almost swim the entire length underwater without taking a breath!  He moves like a dolphin!  He dives to the deep end and treads water like it is nothing!  He wants to be an OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST - he told me yesterday!  Today he is no longer a "baby" he is after all "A WHOLE HAND!"  He is my last and will always be MY BABY...little does he know!

Happy birthday to my lil tiny peanut...we love you very much!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Help my Friend...

This is my friend Tara.  She is in the Miss Verve Pageant.

It would mean a lot if you could vote for her.

Please go to: and click on "virtual voting"
She is Contestant #23 - Tara Pfaltz

Virtual Voting costs $2.00 but the proceeds go to the 


The virtual voting scores are a percentage of their final scores.

Time is running out. The pageant is Labor Day weekend.
Voting online closes September 1st.  Won't you take a minute and spare $2.00 for a worthy cause?

She is a beautiful person inside and out and I would love to help her win.



PS - WOUNDED WARRIORS PROJECT is a great cause - so this is a win - win! Help our wounded troops and Tara!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

What is a TRUE FRIEND?

What is a TRUE FRIEND?

Have you ever had someone who you called FRIEND only to find that the depth of the relationship was far less than what you thought it was, or could be?

We all have.  Over the past 2 years of my journey I have assessed the meaning of FRIENDSHIP and that of what a TRUE FRIEND really is.

I ask you this... Is it better to have hundreds of aquaintences
or a handful of TRUE FRIENDS?  
I personally KNOW a lot of people.  How many of them can I call my TRUE FRIENDS?  Not many.

Ask yourself - what is it you expect from a friend.  I find that we all enter relationships with preconceived notions of what we expect from the other person.  
This could be in a romantic relationship or in our friendships.
I have found that the less I expect from people the happier I am.

We set ourselves up for disappointment when we expect.  People are people.  We all fail.  We all fall short.  
Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..,"

Is it not a great disservice to your so called "friend" when you place expectations, pressures and undue stress on them with your expectations?
I know that it is very hard for me to be all that people want and expect from me. 

I am a pleaser.  I love to make people happy and find it very disheartening when I fail.
I try to apply these feelings to that of being a friend.  I know that I do not like having to always jump over the ever raising bar that people sometimes tend to set.  I know I will fail.

As parents we are forgiving of our children when they mess up - why can't we be as forgiving with friends?  A true friend makes no excuses but will be with you whenever you need them.  In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. 
A true friend is not an opportunist. 
A true friend means to have someone who is like mother - expecting nothing but giving everything.

I want to be a true friend.  I want my children to know I am their true friend and their mother.

If I accomplish nothing more in life than that of being someone's TRUE FRIEND - I will be satisfied.

Thank you to MY TRUE FRIENDS - you all know who you are.  Thank you for being here for me, letting me be - just me. 
I can call you at any hour.  I am not worried about you judging me.  I can speak my mind without worry.  You are here for me, no matter what.

I hope you know I am YOUR TRUE FRIEND too!

PS - Isn't it great to know we all have a TRUE FRIEND IN JESUS? 

Monday, August 24, 2009


Why is it that sneaking something makes it so much better?

My little Trevan is some piece of work. He has always been high maintenance. He was a fussy - not so easy to please baby - always crying and wanting something other that what I could give him.

When he got old enough to walk he was always getting into trouble. He would get into things much more than any of my other boys ever would. You had to be on guard 24/7. If there was a way around the gates, he would find it, often scaling the bars with his tiny little monkey toes. If there was a way to undo the child locks - he would - even if it meant picking at it for days with anything he could find. Always into mischief and causing trouble. That is Trevie! He is turning 5 in just a few days and starting Kindergarten this year. I hope his teacher is ready for him! Watch out KINDERGARTEN - here he comes!

I do not know why - but he loves to SNEAK things. He gets into the fridge and eats people's left overs. He sneaks into the cookie jar, candy jar and finds where I hide my gum. He sneaks his share and puts the wrapper back as if to say "I was here". He will find his brother's toys that have been carefully hidden away out of his tiny grasp that inevitably breaks things. He does not "mean to" - it just always happens that he breaks whatever he touches. He is curious. He questions everything and wants to know how and why. Perhaps he is destined for great things in life. YES. This is the reason. I have to tell myself this - so I do not want to hang him upside down by his toenails when he sneaks my permanent markers and colors on the furniture like a 2 year old. Greatness - he is destined for GREATNESS.

The other day I walked in and saw him "sneaking" the left over Chinese food that was suppose to be my husband's lunch. I could not help but chuckle and snap a photo as he looked so darn cute with the sun spotlighting his sneaky accomplishment as though he were on stage. I had told him earlier that he could not eat the left over orange chicken because Daddy was going to take it for lunch. He vehemently protested and asked me 100 questions as to when, where and why. Stomping off he begrudgingly placed the box back into the fridge. I came out of the room after grabbing a shower and saw him teetering on the bench eating the food as though he were King of the castle.

It obviously was a glorious feat for him and he did not seem to care that I would be displeased or perhaps punish him for going against my word.


So I ask - why is it so much better to sneak things? Is it the thrill and challenge of not getting caught? I know many adults that like to sneak things. Women who purchase items and hide them from their spouses. Men who gamble and keep it from "the little woman". Perhaps it is an addiction to "thrill". I don't know. I do know that I will have my hands full with this kid - when he hits his teen years. He is smart, he is cunning, he is charming and most of all sneaky! He has all the personality traits of my other 3 boys compounded and rolled into one.

Why Lord, do you have such a sense of humor? Giving me my last "blessing" just 13 months after the pregnancy from hell. We were satisfied with 3 boys. It had been a long tough road. 8 miscarriages, 2 attempts to adopt. A $798,000 medical bill from being hospitalized in labor for 69 days and having Turner born premature and in the NICU for weeks. DONE. Things were just jolly. Then on Valentine's Day I felt sicker than a dog only to burst out of the bathroom waving a positive pregnancy test around like a baseball bat coming way too close to my husbands head. I was bawling and blubbering so, that my husband could not figure out what in the heck was going on. Ducking out of the way of the pregnancy test stick I was wielding as a weapon he tried in vein to figure out why I was yelling.

"HOW could this happen?" I wailed. "I am nursing AND on the birth control pill!" I cried. "WHAT did YOU do to ME?" I shouted at him squinting my eyes into little slits. I then crumbled into a sobbing mess on the sofa. Some Valentine's Day! I vowed never ever to engage in the procreation act that got us into this mess again. I called my poor mother and nearly gave her a nervous breakdown. Funny God. Real funny. Maybe...just maybe it would be a girl...NOT!

Life with 2 babies just barely 13 months apart has had it's share of turmoil. We are just now - getting the hang of it and they are now 6 and almost 5. WHEW! I did not think I could get through those years, yet here I am.

Tired and old. Having FOUR boys takes the life outta ya. Heck - it SUCKS the life from every fiber of your being! I love them all very much - don't get me wrong. I just wish they would all slow down a bit and let me have some breathing room. Between the fighting and the bickering, the arguing and going to blows - I am a woman somewhere in there. I usually wear the hat of referee, taxi driver, cook, wardrobe consultant and maid to name a few, but am always "MOM!" when they need something.

One day they will all be grown and gone. Whatever will I do then? Perhaps SNEAK away for some much needed ME time . . . only then I probably won't need it like I do now!

One can DREAM...


Thursday, August 20, 2009


It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

I have a 13 year old who has been blessed with FAR too much hair. As you can see in his photos - he is overly gifted in the follicular department. Do you think he appreciates this great blessing...well of course not! He will not appreciate this massive mound of hair he has that is just the perfect color, is thick and luxurious and curls just naturally until he loses every stinkin strand.

I too, at one point in my youth had long locks that were shiny and naturally golden.
I took my tresses for granted and wish I had them back. Age has taken a toll on my natural beauty and it takes far too much effort now to reclaim the things of the past.

Don't get me wrong. I love to look good and desire to feel beautiful. I just have come to accept things that mother nature has dealt me. I try not to be so harsh on myself and try to cut myself a break every now and then. I am not the girl that has to "put on her face" before going out to the market to fetch the milk. I usually do not have makeup on and when people see me with it on they grab their chest and act like they may faint dead away. " that YOU!?" "You look SO different with makeup on." they chirp.

What does this mean...exactly.

I mean all joking aside is this just an offhanded way of saying - "Holy Cow - you need to wear make-up more often! You look like crap otherwise!"

Perhaps. Oh well... It is what it is.

I guess I am okay in my skin. I have accepted that I am over 40. I may not LOOK beautiful to everyone, but if I attempt to keep myself up I FEEL good.

For example, my eyesight has gone and I have to wear glasses to see. I mean who wants to go around running into things in all reality? I know I can wear contacts to be more attractive, and I do think I will get some again. Not so much for the aspect of being more attractive, but for practicality purposes. While taking photos it is a hassle when my glasses steam up from my eyeball getting all hot and sweaty. I am left with a smudge on my glasses and I am forever grabbing the hem of my tee or dress to clean them. Not my idea of ease.

I try to make life easier for the people who are forced to look at me and see me on a regular basis. I will not be the one to "let herself go" and grow a uni brow. As long as I can see to pluck those little eyebrow hairs, I will do so. It is not as if anyone really looks - I mean seriously - how often have you taken note of MY EYEBROWS? But it makes me feel like I am keeping up on the maintenance of my face.

There is so much one can do to "maintain one's face". It can be a full time job. Not only do I try to maintain MY face I have the dubious task of the maintenance of my husband's eyebrows, and ear hair. YUK - I know - but it is a fact that men do grow hair there when they get older. Why let a forest grow? I feel it is my duty as his partner joined by matrimony to assist him in his upkeep. After all I do not like staring at a hairy clump that could easily be mistaken for a small animal perched on the entry of his ear canal! Then there is my 18 and 13 year old son's that need help in the UNI BROW department. Sheesh - who would have thought? Being a wife and mother would turn out so glamorous? I know...if you are a woman - you will be checking your man's ears for hair tonight - and if you are a man - you know YOU WILL be checking the mirror for hairy ear pests - and hopefully exterminating them ASAP!

Don't even get me started on the issue of body hair. Why is it that so many places grow it and we try every product and device there is to remove it. It is like farming.
Mowing and weeding endless fields. Let me tell you - the one thing you DON'T want to do is let it go. For once you do - there will be hell to pay when you have to mow again!

My hats off to those of you who can afford waxing and laser treatments.
I have almost been seriously injured trying to shave in the shower. I won't go in to details ( just for you Mark and Susi ) but you can imagine that the daily grind of shaving can pose a hazard or two, especially when one is in a hurry.

Enough about that. I guess it comes down to the old adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Some of us behold more than others and I am fine with that.

I am me, Just Janean. If people do not like what they behold when they look at me - they can look at someone else! I mean this will all kindness and respect - wink...wink.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Boot Camp!

Check Out Kristy McLean

Okay - I am going to do it... I am going to go to BOOT CAMP with Kristy McClean tomorrow night at Foothill Ranch Park. Let me know if you want to get brave and join me!

How can I go wrong? They are doing BOOT CAMP FOR A CAUSE!
This session benefits Autism. Since Turner has an Autism Spectrum Disorder - I guess I will have to sacrifice myself! Pray for me - if you will.

I am not getting any younger and am not sure if this old bag of bones will tolerate a real - full fledged work out. My "fake" workouts - i.e. climbing the stairs of my apartment with groceries, walking to the mail box, carrying a sleeping child up 2 flights of stairs - are a thing of the past. I am committed to a NEW ME - so here we go!

BTW - I will wait until I get some results before I post photos - I am not ready to embarrass myself on here just yet! wink...wink!

I have gained a lot of weight over the past year as I have just had one stress after another. I also have a thyroid disorder and I can't take it anymore. So, hopefully I will not keel over and embarrass myself. I will let you know how I do! I want to be a lean mean Janean - again!

With a couple more weeks of Summer to go...we may take the kids to the beach today to build a sandcastle. No, I am NOT going in a bathing suit! That will be next year! The marine layer has not burned off yet and it is such a nice cool morning. I think we will head out this afternoon - I will take some photos and post them later.

I smell the sweet aroma of orange rolls baking - I will resist the temptation of my husband's ideas of breakfast and go eat something healthy - if my kids have not eaten all the healthy stuff in the fridge! LOL!

Make it a great day!


Monday, August 17, 2009

Nothing is really MINE!

Is there something more to this? Or is it a case of Boys will be Boys?

Living in 900 square feet along side 5 males - can be challenging to say the least. Torturous at times. I do not have ANY space let alone my OWN space. I do not have much that is MINE either.

For example take the "things" that I buy, then bring home to covet as my OWN.

I buy fruit, ripe delicious fruit that I carefully choose for it's shape and ripeness. In an effort to have a healthy breakfast I prepare my vanilla fat free yogurt, sprinkle on my low fat granola and go to the fridge for the piece de resistance -
my chosen fruit. I look and it is gone. I crouch down inspecting the contents of the fridge closer - I move things this way and that. Humph. No fruit. I then start taking the items OUT of the fridge - really searching.

As I do this a lil sprout pops in - "Whatcha doin' mom?" he asks. "I am looking for my berries" I say flatly. "Oh, those bumpy ones?" he chimes. "Yep..." I say as I continue to search. "Those are all gone. I ate them." he says flatly.
"WHAT?!" I say jumping to my feet. "You ate the WHOLE basket?" I question. "Yep. Daddy said I could. I ate them ALLLLLLL up when you were gone yesterday." he smiles slyly.

Crap. This starts my day. Plain gross yogurt with a bit of granola. - NO "piece de resistance ". FRUITLESS.

I finish my disappointing breakfast and hit the shower.

Now mind you we have a SHOWER in one bathroom (the boys bathroom) and a TUB in my bathroom. The tub does have a shower but the water pressure is so high that the water escapes the confines of the shower curtain liner and curtain and I end up with a miniature water feature on my floor when I am done. So, we use this bathroom to take BATHS and we all SHOWER in the other.

This explains my next diddy.

Being financially challenged, we buy generic, store brand items - or whatever is cheapest and on sale. Recently my brother Brian has been sharing with me how his extremely frugal girlfriend purchases hundreds of dollars of merchandise for pennies on the dollar using coupons, rebates and watching sales. If you look up the definition of "penny-wise" or "frugal" in the dictionary her name will appear next to it. SHE is amazing at being thrifty. She has a future in giving lessons to others on how to purchase what you want with little or no money. The bonus is she looks like a million bucks, is hip and trendy and does not look like a "meager, parsimonious, penny-pinching" louse.

Anyway - back to my story...

Inspired by her I decided to clip some coupons from the paper I found carelessly tossed aside alongside my apartment dumpster. I grabbed the coupons and snuck up my stairs looking guilty - like I had just stolen some one's wallet. I came in and rifled through the coupons looking for some "prize". I found some savings possibilities on the items I needed from Target. Toilet Paper and Dish Washing Tabs.

I clipped them out carefully as to not disturb the bar code as I know this can be an issue. I set out to Target to compare the price of the generic store brand against the name brand - with the coupons. In my quest - I found coupons for PANTENE SHAMPOO - wow, I thought to myself - it would be nice to have some "non-generic shampoo of MY VERY OWN". I clipped them and thought if the price was right I just might indulge myself.

I was pleased to find I could delight in the purchase of CHARMIN toilet paper with my $2.50 off coupon as it was less expensive this way than the "no name, scratchy, rough, generic" T.P. I got the dish washing tabs and I then headed down the shampoo aisle filled with hope and excitement.

There it was. A grandiose display of PANTENE Products. I had a coupon for $2.00 off one shampoo and $2.00 off one conditioner. As my luck would have it - they were on sale for $2.89 each. With my coupons this would make them a very affordable $.89 each! Whoo Hoo!

I did my little happy dance taking careful note that no one was around to see me looking like a fool in the shampoo aisle. I then embarked on the selection process.


I stepped back feeling a panic attack coming on. I was pleased that I was alone and did not have the boys with me. I would NEVER had been able to make an intelligent selection if they were there chattering and fighting!

I finally decided on ... dunt, dunt, da, dum....

This shampoo promised to Helps strengthen* thin hair for a thick, full look. Perfect - just what I need!

It says that thin and thinning hair can look full, thick and shining with Full & Thick Shampoo. It then goes on to seal the deal by touting - The Pro-vitamin formula helps protect hair against damage. Use as a system with Pro-V Full & Thick conditioner to:
Strengthen hair against damage and prevent hair loss from breakage...
Help maintain a thick look from root to tip!

Most EXCELLENT! I can hardly wait to try my name brand, frugal purchase. I grab my shampoo and the complimenting conditioner and head to the check out coupons in hand.

"I bought me some SPECIAL Shampoo and Conditioner...DON'T USE IT...okay" I announced to the masses. Fearful that my announcement fell on deaf ears, I then went into the bathroom and stashed MY new shampoo in the shared shower.

I put it BACK behind the huge bottle of COSTCO Shampoo that the boys use, you know the one you get in a 2 pack with a pumper thing on top. It is almost gone - but has just enough to hold them over until I fill it with some of the 88 cent SUAVE that I have stashed in the closet. I was sure it would go unnoticed back behind the big bottle. Just to be sure I shoved the face scrub and body wash in front of the shampoo bottle in an effort to provide a distraction. Satisfied with my efforts I went about my night.

The next day came. Stace showered. I gave no thought to my coveted name brand shampoo and conditioner. Taylor showered. Still no thought. Trenton showered. THEN it was my turn. I was excited to try my new products.

As I got undressed, got the water just the right temp and slid the door open - there I saw them. MY new SHAMPOO and CONDITIONER - upfront glaring at me.

Both with the pop tops open, one upright and one on it's side - vicariously perched on the seat of the shower with it's contents ready to spill out any moment. I quickly righted the bottle. I was standing in my shower in disbelief.

Could it be? Did ALL of them use MY new name brand products? I felt so violated.

I showered and used my new shampoo and conditioner - but I will have to say the zest and zeal was not there. THEY had taken the wind out of my sails.

I was going to confront them all - but figured it would do no good.

After all - it is not like we have a miniature security guard in the shower - they will use it even if I ask them not too.

Nothing is sacred. Not even SHAMPOO and CONDITIONER.

At least they do not try to wear my jewelry ... yet. LOL!


Saturday, August 15, 2009

God Speaks...

On a Mission to Go On Mission...

The Harvest Crusade last night was amazing. God spoke to many. He spoke to me. I have never been more committed to my mission - to go on A Mission - to RWANDA in 2010, than I am today! When God speaks - we need to listen!

I was laying in bed this morning half asleep, praying and asking God to show me a way to raise the needed funds for our trip. As clear as day - as if GOD was sitting on my bed I had a clear thought in my head. It was spelled out like this..."If you each get 12 people to sponsor you at $25 a month for the next 10 will have the funds needed to go on the trip."

WOW. I jumped up out of bed and did the math. $25 a month = $250 x 12 = $3000!!

Incredible! Now I know I was far too sleepy to calculate that - after all I took basic math classes in school. I did not get the genius brain like my brother Brian who can compute large numbers in his head.

Thanks God. We ask - he answers - you just have to "hear Him"!

So, with that - I am looking for 12 sponsors and Trenton is as well.
So we need 24 people to commit to sending us $25 a month for the next 10 months to help us go to Rwanda in June 2010.

This is doable - I know it is. Praise be to God for providing the answers!

Last night I was moved by the great number of people who came to know the Lord at the Harvest Crusade. I want to be a part of that. I want to share the love of Christ with the children in Rwanda. This will be an experience of a lifetime and I am so excited to be a part of this! To be able to share it with Trenton will mean the world to me.

So, if you would like to commit to Sponsoring us at $25 a month for the next 10 months - please email me at:

You can donate via PayPal -

Or simply send a check made out to:

Saddleback Church - Trip ID 6433 in the MEMO

Mail it to me at:

Janean Lindner
28715 Los Alisos Blvd Ste 7-348
Mission Viejo, CA 92692

PLEASE EMAIL ME and let me know if you wish to become one of our TRIP SPONSORS...

We will make a list of our Sponsors on our website at:
Thanks so much for your consideration! If you can not Sponsor us monthly - you can send us a much needed donation! Any amount will help us realize our goals! Any money we receive above and beyond our goal will go to our TEAM - and help others go on Mission too! A win - win - win!!!


This was the devotion from Pastor Greg Laurie that was sent to me by a friend in Christ today...
I hope you can take something positive from it - as I did!!

When I am interviewed by reporters about Harvest Crusades, the question I am asked more than any other is, "Why do you do this? Why do you put all of this effort into these events?"

It is a lot of work to do these events. We do them out of our ministry through Harvest Ministries and Harvest Christian Fellowship, the church where I pastor. Some take more than a year to set up, with preparation work and training classes. They require a lot of effort.

So why do it? Because I am a man under orders. I have a Commander-in-Chief called Jesus. He has commanded me to go into all the world and preach the gospel.

As I have often said, it is not the Great Suggestion; it is the Great Commission. And I am not the only one who is called to do this. You are called to do this as well.

It isn't really an option for me to say, "I won't share my faith. I won't preach the gospel. I won't tell others about Jesus." For me not to do this, for me not to make an effort to reach others with the gospel can be sin, because there are sins of commission and omission.

The sin of commission is doing what you should not do, while the sin of omission is not doing what you ought to do. The Bible tells us, "To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin" (Jams 4:17 NKJV).

Let's say that somehow I had discovered the cure for cancer. Would it be wrong for me to keep that secret to myself and never tell anyone? Of course it would.

How much more wrong would it be to keep it a secret if we have the cure, if you will, for eternal damnation?

We have the solution to humanity's problems. We have the way for people to know God. If we only apply that in our own lives and keep it to ourselves and never tell others, then certainly that is falling short of what God would want.

Yet most Christians do not engage in evangelism. I read a survey that said that 95 percent of Christians have never led another person to Christ. I don't know what percentage you fall into, and I don't want to lay a guilt trip on you. In fact, it just may be that you have been involved in more people coming to the Lord than you realize.

Every prayer that you have prayed for a lost person, every time you have given out a gospel tract, every time you have just been a good witness where you live or work, you have been, in effect, sowing a seed and engaged in the work of evangelism.

Evangelism is not only telling people about Christ—though evangelism includes that—it is also getting out there and letting your light shine.

You may sow a seed that another may water. Then again, you may water a seed that someone else has sown. Or, you may reap where others have both sown and watered. As the apostle Paul said, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase" (1 Corinthians 3:6 NKJV). You play a part.

When we were in Hawaii a number of years ago for a Harvest Crusades event, one of our volunteers was out on the streets with his little boy, handing out invitations to the event. When his son spotted a very burly biker with tattoos up and down his arms, he said, "Dad, I am going to go give him an invitation."

His father told him no, but the boy insisted. Before he could stop his son, he was tugging on the biker's arm. The biker looked down, and the boy gave him the flyer. Then the biker crumpled it up.

The father and son quickly made their exit, but the encounter went better than they realized. That night when the gospel invitation was given, the first man on the field was that biker. He came because a little boy gave him a flyer.

The seed you sow today could turn into a tremendous harvest later. Remember, the Word of God will not return void, but it will prosper in the place where He sends it (see Isaiah 55:11). You may think your attempt to share the gospel went nowhere, but you never know.

So keep sharing your faith. And be patient.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Harvest Crusade 2009

Harvest Crusade Anaheim Stadium
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I love many things in life. I love my morning coffee. I love a cool crisp breeze blowing in my windows. I love my children. I love feeling "alive" when I laugh. I love music and I love watching people being transformed.

Tonight is the start of the Harvest Crusade at Anaheim Stadium. I have been several times and I love it. I am going tonight to hear THIRD DAY, which is one of my Favorites! Taylor and Kamille, Chloe, Trenton and my Mom are going with me. I pray that each of us comes away forever changed. I pray that the Lord does a work in the hearts of all who attend. It is going on all weekend and it is FREE! If you have never been - you need to go! Greg Laurie is amazing!

I am sure that I am not alone when I say that music speaks to me. When I feel broken, hurt and down, I can count on listening to some of my favorite artists and know that I will be renewed.
Third Day is a band that has done this for me over the past couple of years. During our trials and challenges I would go alone into my van and listen to many songs by THIRD DAY.
CRY OUT TO JESUS is one that really speaks to me. YOUR LOVE, OH LORD is another.

I am so happy to be going tonight and taking Taylor with me. I pray with all my heart that something gets "in" and that he is touched. I wish we were going as a family - but Stace has to stay with the lil sprouts. The massive crowd would be way overstimulating for Turner.

I often get caught up in trying to be all that I know God wants me to be. Alone I am a failure. I have to remember the devotion that I recently read by Greg Laurie...

"Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.
In the Christian life we often try in our own strength to do what God has called us to do. We think, I've got to keep God's commandments and resist temptation and love my spouse and. . . . It is hard stuff.

But when we say, "Lord I can't do this on my own. I just ask that your Holy Spirit would fill me and help me to do these things," we will realize that doing what God tells us to do can actually become a delight rather than mere duty.

The Bible says, "Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18). The word "filled" used here carries multiple meanings, one of which is wind filling a sail. So to be filled with the Spirit means being carried along by, and under the control of, Jesus Christ. The word "filled" in this verse also speaks of something that is continuous. So effectively, this verse is saying, "Be filled over and over and over and over again with the Holy Spirit."

Another way the word "filled" could be translated is "to permeate," the way salt was packed into meat to preserve it. So to "be filled with the Holy Spirit," means that we need to let the Holy Spirit permeate our lives and everything we do. Let the Holy Spirit permeate your prayer life, your worship life, your business, your marriage, and the way you treat others.

So a good habit to develop is to get up in the morning and say, "Lord, fill me with the Spirit today. Help me to be permeated by the Spirit. Help me to be led by the Spirit. Help me to obey what the Spirit leads me to do."

I hope that speaks to you like it did me.

So let's go on today and be filled with the Spirit. Let GOD lead. Get into the passengers seat and close your eyes - I dare you!
It's okay - God knows how to drive!


Thursday, August 13, 2009

Poking holes in my logic...

Summer. What an interesting time of life. I love the summer. I am not sure though if I love what the summer is doing to my kids!

Perhaps it is the heat that is warping their brains. Perhaps it is the lack of a set routine. Perhaps it is . . . well I dunno what the heck it is - but I hope it goes away once school starts!

Trenton my 13 year old went away to spend a month with my brother and my nephew who is almost 15. The other cousins came down here to visit and Brenton had to stay behind for summer school. So, Trenton and Brenton were left to their teenage devices under the supervision of my brother. Trenton returned a while ago. He has an ego and an attitude the size of Montana!

First - his head of hair is enormous! I am jealous over the amount of natural curl, bounce and body that he has! I told him that he looked like a human mop and that we needed to get that hair cut before school started. THEN it started. He told me that the hair on his head was his, as his head was attached to his body and that he could do with it what he liked.

I debated that fact and told him that his body was MINE to do with what I wanted until he was 18 years old. I told him that my DNA made his body and that I carried his body in mine, delivered his body and have the scar to prove it!

He then told me that he was going to "POKE HOLES IN MY LOGIC"!

Of all the nerve! My KID was going to "poke holes in MY logic!??" He touted that only HALF of my DNA made up his body and that his father made up the other half. He then told me that neither of us "owned" him and that he was old enough to decided how he would wear his hair, how he would dress, and the way - he was getting his ears pierced!

"NO! NO! NO...!" He did NOT just say that...I thought. "Well, little man, let me inform you of some facts. " I started. "First, I am your MOTHER!" emphasis on the word MOTHER. "You will not speak to me in this tone. You will have respect for me - period. Second, your father and I are responsible for you until you turn 18. We put a roof over your head (or at least try to), provide your clothing and your food. WE have the ultimate say in how you will dress and how you will wear your hair. DONE. End of Story!" I said firmly with passion and conviction in my tone.

"Wellllll....." he went on. "What if I do not agree with your logic?"..."It is MY body, and I do not think you can force me to do anything - that is child abuse!" he said flatly.

I pulled the car over. I turned in my seat. I squinkled up my eyes until they were little slits. I said to him in the most stern voice I could muster... "CHILD ABUSE?! YOU WANNA SEE CHILD ABUSE?! I will inflict upon you some "CHILD ABUSE" if you decide to continue on with this conversation. YOU are getting your hair cut. You WILL NOT sag your pants or your underwear will be taken away. END. DONE. DO not say another WORD about these subjects. AND - YOU are NOT getting your ears pierced - GOT ME?!"

"Eh, Tssst, Sheesh - WHATEVER!" he replied.

I was livid. My blood boiling. I could not believe the nerve of this being in my vehicle - this creature that I birthed and have lived with for 13 years. I was blown away. I decided that I would have a talk with my husband and we would find a way to put an end to this "attitude".

Well, I have been trying - and he keeps pushing the envelope. He has now decided that he is not going to live with us this year - that he will go live with his uncle so he does not have to cut his hair. He does not want to start a new school and hates that the school dress code will not allow him to sport a hat. It is his "style" and he will wear a hat, period.

Much to his dismay - he will not be moving anywhere unless it is milatary school! He is going to be a student leader at Church along with me for Kids Small Groups. We are going to raise money together and we are going on a Missions Trip to Rwanda in June. I know this is much needed to help mold his attitude back into a respectable young man. Too much freedom this summer - I think is to blame for the inflated ego and the reckless abondon that he chooses to display when talking to his parents.

I will let you know how this plan works for me.

Each day, it seems is yet another adventure in the world of Motherhood!

Off to conquer the day!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Prayers Answered...

Our "Angel" Chloe...

Long ago when Taylor was just 3 years old I met LaTisha. She was our babysitter until we moved away from Missouri six years later. She was the only one who ever kept Taylor and Trenton. I prayed for someone like her when Turner and Trevan came along. Much to my delight - my prayers were answered with Chloe and Megan.

It is such a blessing when someone loves your kids and actually wants to spend time with them! She plans activities and calls me asking if she can take them! WOW! A rare gem! Today she took them to her pool and then shopping for school clothes! She purchased them many outfits and then took them for pizza!

Chloe - we love you and Megan and will miss you when you leave to go to college!! I do not know how I will get along without you here!!

THANK YOU so much for blessing us time and again! You are very loved and appreciated! xoxo

I was able to get some things done while the kids were off having a fun day. I got my leader form turned in at church to be a Kids Small Group Leader. Trenton turned his Student Leader form in as well and we got the little guys signed up for their Small Group. We are heading to RWANDA next June!!

I went to pick up my mail - at the PO Box - mostly bills and a couple magazines. We did get a lovely birthday card from my old high school dance buddy Caprice - with gift cards for the boys for their birthdays. Such a kind gesture - they were jumping for joy! They cherish getting mail - and so do I. Thank you Caprice for thinking of them!!

I then met my mom for a movie. She treated me to "Julie and Julia". Sweet and funny movie - I really enjoyed it a lot. It was so nice to get away and relax. I love to escape and see a good movie that makes me laugh!

I am home now - I dropped Taylor off at Kamille's and came home to find my overworked husband resting in bed. He is sunburned and tired. His job is not working out to be very economically beneficial and he may need to take a leap of faith and go back out on his own!

If you have any remodeling work or handy man stuff that you need done - let us know! His hours have been restricted and he needs to work - we need to make money to keep a roof overhead!

Once I know the kid's school schedules - and see if Trevan has morning or afternoon Kindergarten I will look into working again. I am still available for Portrait Sessions on location - so let me know if you are looking to have photos done! I do parties and special occasions too!

Speaking of a party...if you are ever in need of something fun and free to do - buy your kid a slinky and go to The District in Tustin - go on a weekday - when it is not too busy. There is an escalator that leads to the STRIKE Bowling Alley and well - needless to say...if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCALATOR = EVERLASTING FUN! Best part it is FREE!

Have a great night!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


T is for Taylor
T is for Trenton
T is for Turner
T is for Trevan
T is for...

The hazy lazy days of summer have got me beat! I have moved from one activity to another and well, sleep has been last on the list. I am T I R E D. Plain and simple. I have done a bunch of Senior Portraits and a Birthday Party and have had my head buried in my computer in my "digital darkroom". I love doing it - it just takes so much T I M E!

Then there are the FOUR "T"'s . . .

Taylor. Between running him back and forth to see Kamille - well, he had a fall. He last night - fell off the wagon. He went out for a short "walk" and came in stumbling and drunk. How? How does he get alcohol? I do not know! He knows no one that we know of around our new place. So be it. He was drunk, we were upset, he passed out, he threw up. I cleaned it up - and did I not sleep - all night.

Trenton. He is back from going here and there. He is ALL "T" - as in TEENAGER. He has the teenage attacks of "thinking that mom and dad have lost their minds and he knows it all" often. We battle daily on subjects such as teeth brushing, hair cutting, ear piercing, music, music videos, language, etc. HE makes me TIRED.

Turner. Turner has a "T" problem. It is his TOOTH. He has his second wiggly tooth that likes to dangle. He is terrified of pulling it free but irritated by it's unpredictable way of flopping this way and that. He is consumed with this at the moment. Tiring!

Trevan. He is always busy. He is high maintenance. He spent all night crying hysterically. We never could ascertain why he was crying. Was it a nightmare? Don't know. Was he in pain? Won't know. He became mute and would do nothing other than cry. Weird. Regression. He is almost 5 - don't tell me we are going back to the terrible toddler years! Tiring. Very Tiring.

Today - I had more challenges than I had promises. I started out overwhelmed. I am still there to a degree. I have photos to edit, CD's to burn, coffee and toilet paper to purchase, medicine to by for Trevan - as he now has a stuffy nose, forms to turn in at the church, mail at my PO Box to collect, forms to gather to register the boys for school, doctor's records to request for Taylor's court date, bills to pay, laundry to do, the list goes on and on!

Sheesh - I really wish that throwing your hands in the air and screaming "CALGON...take me away ..." would result in me being whisked off to a Tropical Paradise somewhere and all my burdens would be washed down the drain!

If only it were that easy! I guess it would not then be called...LIFE!

Here are a few photos I took over the past days - thought I'd share!