Saturday, January 31, 2009

where am I going...

It has been a few days since I posted - where did the days go? They are all a blur.

Today I felt as though I was hit. Hit with a large boulder right in the heart.

I was driving to work...alone. Suddenly it hit me- out of no where - a dark, lonely, lost feeling. I felt LOST...

I grabbed my cell phone and called one person...then another. No answer. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to distract myself with music on the radio and thoughts of all the little babies that I would see today. I pulled myself together, and went to work. It was a crazy busy day and as I cradled each precious life in my arms and shushed and swayed them I realized that that is what I longed for. I want someone to hold me - shush me, sway me and tell me that my world will all be okay.

I know so many people have credited me with the label of a "strong woman" and I am sorry to not live up to that title. I am weak now. I do not know where my strength has gone - but every fiber of my being feels depleted. I have recently had the pleasure of dissecting a romantic relationship of a friend. As I have observed this relationship for a long while I have come to the realization that most of us are seeking words of affirmation.

A compliment goes a long way. Are we all not insecure in some area or another? I think if we could put into practice the fine art of affirming one another we would all be so much better for it. Not only does it feel good to give - it feels VERY good to receive.

Mind games - they should be a thing of the past.

Why if we really love someone or admire something about them can we not just SAY it? Now that I am 40ish - I think it is high time we all just SAY what we want and what we need from those in our lives.

I admit I do not affirm my friends and family near enough. Maybe that is why my heart feels so cold - lost - lonely. Perhaps God is trying to tell me to reach out and do unto others as I would have done unto me... SO, if you know I care for you and I love you - I am sorry for not saying it more. I cherish all my friendships deeply and want to harvest each and every one.

Pray for me - as I am sad today. Perhaps I will not be tomorrow - as tomorrow is another day. But for today...I am sad - just very sad.


Monday, January 26, 2009

Moving on...
We're moving on out...

We do not know where we will go - or what we will do...but today we started the packing and sorting process. We will go tomorrow to file our "answer to the unlawful detainer" in court - AFTER Stace goes to appear for his day in court. He is being charged with 2 counts from the accident. We will be attempting to have a huge moving sale February 7th and are setting up a "sale" in the living room if anyone wants to come before then. We are trying to sell all we can as we can not afford to store a lot of items.

I have a job interview for another "part-time" position. It is for only 16 hours a week - oh, how I wish it were more! But at any rate - I go at 10 am tomorrow to Saddleback Church. Pray for me!

Not knowing where we will live or what we will do next is stressful especially on the kids. Trenton is very distressed over this all. The change is making the little boys a bit crazy. Pray for peace during this time. Patience runs short when we are stressed and tired.

I will keep you posted as to what is happening - please let us know if you hear of anyone with a rental - or anyone who is hiring!

Sadly we were told today by the Salvation Army that there is now a record number of homeless families in Orange County. Soon the Governor may have to declare a "State Of Emergency" because there are no more openings at the area shelters to house families. Food banks and emergency funds are tapped out and people have no where to turn. It is estimated that before the end of January there will be 45,000 people laid off in Orange County alone. What has this world come to?

Signing off - very tired and very sore...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Tears of Uncertainty...

I certainly do not hold any answers. I wish I did. Today we were served with an "Unlawful Detainer" - Notice to Evict.

I have never not been able to work or pay my bills - or not have a roof over my head. I am just numb right now.

I have cried all the tears that I had for today. I sit here asking what is the next step - oh God. I see a very rough path ahead - and I am so sad for my boys.

Security is my job - to give them love and security of a home. That will not be the case in a few short days.

We do not know what to do with our things, how to sell or get rid of the accumulation of years worth of keepsakes, memories and items we no longer need.

Where will we live? How will we survive? What do I tell my kids?

Hard questions - with no answers. I love adventure - just not this kind. This is a very scary adventure that I want no part of - but am forced into against my will.

Pray for us - please. I need you now more than ever . . .

PS - I just got this from Elaine - it is just what I need and wanted to share...

Concentrate on this Sentence:
'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'

When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Concentrate on this sentence:
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'


Thursday, January 22, 2009

All I really long for is peace and tranquility...
That right now seems like such an outlandish request. I do not know why. I can not wrap my mind around the obstacles that continue to present themselves in the path of my life.
Peace, quiet, tranqil days seem like a dream to me. I have tried spending time alone with God - he is not answering me now. I know he wants me to continue to be faithful and patient - but I am a flawed human. He knows this. I can not out smart God. I don't even want to try.
My days are spent applying for jobs, searching for a home, and dealing with one emotional upheval after another where the members of my family are concerned. My burdens are heavy - I cast them off to the Lord. My mind is a fog - my bones are weary. I have been fighting the fight as long as I have been able.
I fear now that if I do not get a repreive or a rest or a quiet place to be with my thoughts I may seriously suffer a breakdown.
I try to communicate this to the ones I love - but I guess it is not within their comprehension. If you have not yourself been here - it is hard to expect others to know where you are.
My mind drifts when I am driving - at times I wish to keep going when the light turns red...keep driving and just see what happens.
I wonder what it would be like to just go - no where in particular...just go away. I want to go to bed and I do not want to have to get up and face the next day. I want to feel the soft sheets against my skin, curl up with my fluffy pillow, hug my soft blankets and just be.
I guess this is DEPRESSION...
1. sadness: a state of unhappiness and hopelessness - WELL THAT FITS
2. psychiatric disorder: a psychiatric disorder showing symptoms such as persistent feelings of hopelessness, dejection, poor concentration, lack of energy, inability to sleep, and, sometimes, suicidal tendencies - THAT FITS TOO
3. economic slump: a period in which an economy is greatly affected by unemployment, low output, and poverty - YEP - WE ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK!
4. reduced activity: a lowering of activity, quality, vitality, or force - UM HUM...

I want to be a tiny speck and blow about in the wind. I want no responsibilities - no more searching for the answers that I can not find. I am sorry if I am letting those of you down who have looked to me to be a strong source. A shining light. I have grown weak and dim.

I will try to keep you updated...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

You know life sucks when you can't even do a "bubble bath" right...

I had received many suggestions today as to what to do to relieve stress. The suggestions ranged from the deranged to the mildly doable. My BFF Candy always takes bubble baths. I decided to follow her lead. I thought I'd go out on a limb and try something that I had never done before in the tub. **Get your mind out of the gutter, and stay with me here**

I decided to take some magazines that I have not gotten a minute to look at into the tub. I went up and made it very clear to all 5 men in the house that I was taking a bath - alone. No one was to knock unless there was blood or death. No one was to pick the lock to come in, no one was to slip notes under the door - or else!

I got my bubbles going good an strong using HOT water and Trevan's Bath Blizzard bubble making machine. I got undressed and was quite pleased at the appearance of the hot steaming oversized tub filling up with a massive amount of bubbles. I tested the water and it was just perfect. Then I got in...

Apparently as I slid the door open one of Turner's super hero figures got knocked into the tub. As I lowered myself carefully into the tub I felt a strange sensation as I sat down. It did not feel good - it was a sharp, stabbing right where the sun don't shine. I quickly reacted and reached back to find Spiderman's leg had slipped right into my rear end. OUCH! Not my idea of a good time! Neither he nor I will ever be the same. As I quickly dislodged him I slid to my side losing my balance. My foot went up and I caught my big toe square in the bath spout. Whamo number 2. I thought to myself - geez I almost died on the toilet the other night - now I am gonna die in the tub!

As I threw my arms to the side of the tub to balance and pry my toe out of the spout I knocked my magazines into the water! There went the latest Victoria's Secret Clearance Sale, my new issue of Photography Magazine and Cookie. Darn! I had not even glanced at them.

Now I was mad. Not only had I been violated by Spiderman, my toe was bleeding and now my reading materials were lost to the abyss of my tub. I should have quit then - got out cashed in the whole "bubble bath idea". But NOOOOOOOO. I was determined. I reached for the shampoo only to find it was almost gone. I tipped it upside down and violently shook it to get it to come out. In doing so I was squeezing with all my might - taking out my anger and POW a huge glob along with an air bubble forced it's way out exploding into my eye.

Now I was blind! I rinsed and rinsed - blurred but recovered. I then decided to condition my hair only to grab face scrub in the process. At least my locks are gloriously exfoliated. As I was trying to enjoy a moment - just one - tiny moment - Trevan knocks on the door VERY loudly - begging to come in. I said emphatically "NO!" he then pulled the "I have to go to the baaaaaaaath roooooooooooom" card. "NO! I am taking a bath - use the other one!" He then tells me that they are in use. I did not buy it for a moment. Then he pulls the "I have to poop! NOW!! and I can't make it!"

Sheesh - can't a girl take a quiet bubble bath? Just a nice relaxing - bath? Out of the tub I fly. Not taking a moment to dry off - just hitting the door to avoid disaster in my son's drawers.

He then looks up at me and says "HA! HA! Just Kidding! I knew that would get you out of the bath and let me in!"

Just my luck - what more can I say???


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Coming Apart...


Yesterday morning I felt myself coming apart at the seams. I could not stop the tears from coming. Having been very ill - then dealing with the chaos of Taylor's mental illness and drug addiction, and having the neighbors call the sheriff's out again - put me on the tip of the jagged edge. I felt as if I took a deep breath it would be enough to crumble the tiny edge I was holding on to and send me tumbling into the abyss of no return. Half minded - this sounded good to me. To crack up. If I allowed myself to crack-up - or fall down - or fall off, at least there would be a new scene. A new perspective on things. But - what a mess. I hate messes.

I called the doctor, as my bladder infection had gotten worse - and I knew I needed something for anxiety. I was having chest pains and had a hard time catching my breath. I was getting to the point where I cared about everything then nothing in the same millisecond. I could tell I needed help. I went in and found out that my normally LOW - LOW blood pressure was VERY high for me. He was concerned about me having a heart attack. He has given me meds for anxiety and wants to monitor my blood pressure daily to see if the medicine will help bring it down. I go back in 3 days. I was also given meds for my bladder and they are running a culture to see what type of infection I have. He was also curious as to what made me so ill so they ran a test to determine what that was...

I was invited by an old friend to an Al-Anon meeting last night. I went and met some wonderful people. I am thankful that she cared enough to ask me to go with her. It is a support group for people who are living with addicts. I feel they have wonderful tools to help me and I intend to tap into this resource.

Pray for my health - pray for our living situation - pray for jobs to come our way. Pray for Taylor - just pray for us all...
Pray I can keep on keeping on...

Thank you my faithful friends.


Sunday, January 18, 2009


Well, kick me when I am down. I have spent hours and hours applying for jobs. I have gone on interviews. There are way more people who need jobs than there are jobs available. My little three day a week job is not cutting it and now this week I did not even get to work! I woke up with a raging bladder infection and as the day went on I started getting a fever, muscle aches and then by night I was so violently ill. I was passing out, and my body was rejecting any and all food and drink that had gone in and literally shooting it out both ends. My poor husband woke up to find me passed out on the bathroom floor where I had fallen face first off the toilet. I hit my head and bit the inside of my cheek. He got me back on the pot and without warning projectile vomit came fast and furious all over him. I have NEVER been so sick. This went on for nearly an hour and I passed out 3 times. He wanted to call 911 but we could not get a hold of my mom to stay with the kids. I thought I was dying. I saw the "light" and thought - wow Lord - is this really the way I am going to go?

Needless to say - I am exhausted - weak and ready to throw in the towel. I am sorry that I am not a ray of sunshine - but I am so tired - so very - very tired of this battle. We keep being told that the Lord must have mighty plans - I hope that is so - here I am - flat on my face - waiting....

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Tomorrow - wish me luck.
I am going to Corona and Murietta for 2 job interviews.
Yes - relocation may be in the cards...

Just say a prayer that we will end up where we are meant to be.

Pray for safe travels and for me to have calm nerves.

Traffic tends to rattle me a bit!


Monday, January 12, 2009

Ever want to run away?
I am there...

I try to be hopefully optimistic... but I am out of energy.

Done. I give! You win...
Game over!

I spent hours today calling places looking for help, trying to find resources... I waited on hold for endless amounts of time - got shuffled from one person to the next. I was told time and again - "you are not alone" - "sorry we can't be of more help" - "we have a waiting list with literally hundreds of people on it" - "good luck."

I applied for job after job, looked for new places to live. It's a catch 22 - you can't rent a new place if you don't have a job making enough to pay the rent! It is not rocket science!

I do not know what to do any more. I know only God has the answers - so - here we will be. Waiting. I am sorry to not be able to come up with a cheery post - a fun tid bit - or a great photo. I need to see how I can pay past due utilities and start selling things. We will be packing boxes, giving things away and trying to figure out what the next chapter in this book of LIFE holds.

If you do not get a call from me, an email, or see me for a bit - it is not that I do not care for you - or love you. It is because I am sad. I am depressed. I am tired. I am out of steam...

So, if you have a minute - say a prayer for us.
We need it now more than ever....


Saturday, January 10, 2009
Day 10 of my 31 Day Challenge
(life right now is my challenge...)

Today - wow. I did not have time to post this morning - tried to spend some "quality time" with the lil guys before I left for work. I tried to be good, eat my breakfast and gather all my work items - including my healthy snacks and water before heading out the door. I went with sad heart as I had received an email this morning stating that I am "OVER QUALIFIED" for the job that I applied for with Kaiser Hospital. Working only 3 days a week is not helping a tremendous amount. I have officially now applied for 67 jobs for both Stace and Myself with NOTHING...

I tried to be a "happy star" today at work. The precious little bundles brought joy to my day.
My challenge was to help people. I helped people find their hospital rooms when they looked lost. I held the door for people. I did things to make the nurses jobs easier. Yes, it took up some of my "time" but I had to do something outside of myself. It was rewarding.

I got a call as my day was winding up, from Stace. He told me that we were served with a "Three Day Pay or Quit" Notice. Wow. Have you ever wondered HOW people become homeless? I know I have.
Now I know. Life happens. One day all is well and then BAM.

Now we, too may be homeless in a matter of time. I really have no idea what we will do - or where we will go. The economy is so bleak. The job market is impossible. Stace even with his limitations has been turned down by the Irvine Company and other Property Management Companies as being "Over Qualified". I do not know what to do other than claim we are "un-qualified" - "un-educated" - just plain "UN" in general.

So - that being said - I hope that people can see that yes - I am a regular "joe".
I am not an Orange County Housewife. Far from it...
I may be living in a tent in your backyard - soon.

My Tid Bit for today -
...Enjoy what you have - each little bit - because you never know if tomorrow - it will be GONE...

Friday, January 9, 2009

Day 9 of my 31 Day Challenge...

Today I go to work at Kaiser. I am going to make it a great day! My challenge today is to be as cheerful as I can be to each and every person I come in contact with. This will be challenge - as I am not in a very uplifted state of mind. I am going to push myself. I am also going to take the stairs and NO elevators today!

Yesterday Stace took some photos of Trevan and I at the park. It was just so neat to get out in the fresh air and see the cool colored leaves falling from the trees. Trevan had a great time. I think everyone needs to get out and enjoy the beautiful days when they can. It really is an uplifting experience! I got to go to the gym last night and did one whole hour of cardio! I even got in some resistance training with weights and it made me feel a sense of accomplishment. I then went to my mom's to type some things and we had a great time of laughing togehter. Laughter is really the BEST medicine!

Today's Tid Bit...
I really wanted to sample the new Lilly Pulitzer Fragrances. I wrote to them via their website and they are now able to SEND you the samples FREE!
Sooo...if you too, want to try these out go to:
Lilly Pulitzer
Fill out the contact form and ask them to send you samples!! Enjoy!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Day 8 of my 31 Day Challenge...

Today I need a little dose of Faith...
I am growing weary of our situation. I have spent each day applying for jobs online then calling companies to just get the run around. I know the Lord has the perfect income source for our family and I have to rest in that hope and have faith. This is just so hard at times! Our finances are just next to nothing and we have all the utility bills due - AGAIN. Where do the days go? I just seem to get things covered and they are due again! Today, my challenge is to take time out to spend time with God. I challenge you to do the same. I am going to lay all my burdens and cares at His feet and let Him do what he does best. This is my last day off to get a LOT done. I work the next 3 days and for that I am thankful! I pray that I have lots of babies to photograph! I got 4 miles in yesterday and stuck to my food plan. Hopefully when I get weighed on Sunday I will beat Candy! We have a weekly challenge going! :o)

Today's Tid Bit...
I have never been a fan of "My Space" (sorry all you fans...). BUT recently I was invited to join FACEBOOK. I decided after all my friends kept after me to join that I would check it out. It is really neat! I have reconnected with a ton of old friends from high school, our old neighbors and friends from Church back in Missouri and even MY MOM has a Facebook! I have found family members and you can only be "friends" with people you choose to be!
Check it out!
Hope to see you there!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Day 7 of my 31 Day Challenge...

Today - I am going to schedule a physical. No, I am not some sick-o that loves to go to the doctor and be peered at naked, poked and prodded then stuck with needles.
I just decided that to get a good assessment and really have a good start to a new me - this was necessary.
YOU should follow my lead and schedule one too!

Well, yesterday Trudi was not able to meet me to walk. We have re-scheduled for today. So, after I got a ton of work done I took Trevan (pictured on left) my youngest, to the park. He wanted to ride his "car" there. Boy - was I in for it! He decided to...well, kick my booty! He had me on an adventure! He zoomed his car so fast and yelled for me to "RUN". I tried keeping up and when I tired he yelled "C'Mon Mom - You can do it! Follow my lead!!!"... I had to just laugh. After literally running more than a mile - on the sidewalk - in the open grassy fieild and in the dirt, he decided we should run up and down the bleachers! I guess he took some lessons from Bob and Jillian last season on The Biggest Loser!

Later - I decided that I needed to get a bit more exercise - as if that was not enough! So I went to the gym. I was able to do 25 minutes on the treadmill and then 25 on the bike. I did some weights and then headed home. It felt good to really sweat. I know that sounds so...gross. I am really catching the fitness bug!

Today's Tidbit...
I LOVE Blackberries and Peaches! I just had fresh blackberries on my cereal today and wanted to share this recipe with you = so yummy!

Fresh, plump peaches and big juicy blackberries from the farmers' market inspire this delicious dessert, although it's perfectly fine to use frozen peaches and blackberries. Although I have reduced the total fat content of this dessert, I like to keep a little butter in the crisp topping.

Prep Time: 20 minutes - Cook Time: 40 minutes


  • 4 large fresh peaches (about 2lbs), skinned, pitted and sliced
  • 1/2 dry pint fresh blackberries
  • 1/4 cup sugar (for lower calories use Splenda)
  • 1 tbsp cornstarch
  • 1 tsp lemon zest - fresh is best!
  • Topping:
  • 2/3 cup quick oats
  • 1/4 cup firmly-packed brown sugar
  • 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 tsp nutmeg
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tbsp cold butter
  • 2 tbsp olive oil


Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Arrange peaches in an 8-inch square glass baking dish. Scatter blackberries on top.

Stir sugar (or splenda) and cornstarch together and sprinkle over fruit, followed by lemon zest. Stir fruit.

In a medium bowl, combine oats, sugar, flour, nutmeg and cinnamon. Cut or rub in butter into the oat mixture. Add oil, then stir gently to combine.

Sprinkle topping over the fruit. Bake for 35-40 minutes, until the fruit is bubbling and the top is slightly browned. Serve warm with a scoop of frozen non-fat yogurt.

Serves 6

Per Serving: Calories 190, Calories from Fat 43, Total Fat 4.2g (sat 1.3g), Cholesterol 5mg, Sodium 23mg, Carbohydrate 34.8g, Fiber 3g, Protein 2.2g

I have enjoyed getting your emails! I recently had someone send me one of the fun questions email. I thought I'd ask you all a couple! Send me your answers and I'll post them!


What 3 beauty essentials can you NOT live without?

Mine are ... FACE SCRUB, Face Lotion and Chap Stick (before I go to sleep!)

What are 3 things people would be surprised to learn about you?

Mine - 1. I like Football, 2. I am afraid of Horror Films, 3. It creeps me out when people pick their toenails.

Email your answers to me at:

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Day 6 of my 31 Day Challenge...

Today I am making myself take a break from working at home. I get in a rut and feel guilty when I have SO much to get done. I feel guilty taking "time" for "ME". Today I am breaking free and meeting an old friend Trudi at the Lake for a walk. I am excited to get out and enjoy the serenity of the lake and the surroundings. Too often we take for granted the beauty that God provides for our enjoyment. I have tried to be more aware of the canvas that is laid out before us each day...from the wonderful sunrises and sunsets, to the changing leaves, interesting birds, beautiful mountains, calm lakes. We are very blessed to live here where there is snow a couple hours away and the ocean just a few miles away. I am thankful.

I did get to get that NAP in yesterday! I took a 20 minute power nap! It was great. My eyes were tired from editing photos and I was just really wiped out yesterday. When Stace left and took Trevan to pick up Turner from school, my house was QUIET. This hardly EVER happens. I seized the moment and quickly laid on the sofa. I fell fast asleep. It felt great. You should try it if you get a chance!

Today's Tidbit...

I love to read - I have been getting some great ideas from the REDBOOK site - here are a few that caught my eye!

No Workout Weight Loss
How to look good naked
Beauty's Top 40 of 2008
The Best Jeans For YOUR Butt

Monday, January 5, 2009

LIFE is a ROLLERCOASTER and I want off!

I received a letter today that I want to share with you. I realize now in this wide world on the internet that the link to your blog may get sent to people who do not know you or your "Roller Coaster of Life"...
So thank you Heidi for your letter - and thank you for allowing me to share it on my blog.

Here is Heidi's letter:

Hello there.
I have been reading your blog that was forwarded to me by a friend. I enjoy reading it very much and love your "tid bits". I want to share something with you and hope that you do not get offended. I see you are living in Orange County, CA. I am in OHIO. I know that it is warm there and very beautiful. I am sure you live in a million dollar home and I know the median income in your town is over $50,000. I wonder IF your views on HOPE would be different if you had your home in foreclosure had to move 3 kids to a small apartment and had a husband that worked more that he was at home. I wonder how jazzed you would be about losing weight if you needed to take off 50 pounds caused by stress and you only had macaroni and cheese in your pantry. I wonder how you could go on each day and SMILE if you were NOT an Orange County Housewife? Please know your blog is amusing and it helps me escape my reality - the one that is sure to be the reality of most. I see you are a photographer and your work is beautiful. I wish you success in what is sure to be a sure money maker there. Just remember the "regular joes" out here and toss a gripe or a complain in your blog now and again so we know you are "real".
Keep on blogging!

Dear Heidi,

I AM a regular joe.
No, we do not live in a million dollar home. We in fact, do not even OWN a home. My husband who earned a living as a remodeling contractor was injured in a car accident almost 4 months ago. We have not had income for most of the past 4 months and have not even been able to make our rent the past 3 months.

Last Christmas I lost my job and my best friend. Last January my oldest son was injured in a skateboarding accident and suffered a significant brain injury. My son is still struggling and my husband is in physical therapy. Both are searching for employment.

I have 4 boys ages 18, 13, 5, and 4. My 5 year old has an autism spectrum disorder. So you see, I have had challenges, and continue to have them with each passing day. I had just started to get my photography business off the ground when my husband was injured. I had no time to book appointments and had to pick up the pieces of our shattered lives.

I have had to seek another avenue of employment because I need to now support our family. I found a job but it is only 3 days a week. It is not near enough to even cover 2 utility bills. I hope you see that I am trying to find hope and joy in each day despite my circumstances. I wish to enlighten other people and "keep on keeping on".

Believe me - it is hard. I have my struggles each and every day.
I am on the SCARY Roller Coaster of Life and believe me -

Day 5 of my 31 Day Challenge.

Well - I did NOT get that nap on Sunday as I longed to. Perhaps today- I can take an hour to rest. I worked 11 hours - and then went to see my mom on her birthday. I so wish life could be a blissful as a baby's! I have the sheer pleasure of holding, smelling and cuddling new little lives on my job and it makes me realize how sweet life can be. They are so fresh - so innocent. What blessings.
I wanted to let you all know that I actually exceeded my walking goal this week! I walked just over 40 miles! Wow sounds like a lot! My legs and tush feel it! I also got weighed and am down 2.7 pounds! I have 24 to go to get to my pre-baby weight of 18 years ago!
Wish me luck!

Today's Tidbit...
Are you like me, and have long "To-Do Lists"? I am overwhelmed by them at times. I decided to make a "Fun To-Do List" to throw in with my not - so - fun ones! I may see an ad on t.v. or online and think - "Oh I want to try that"- or I see a movie preview and really want to see it. But in the clutter of my mind I can't remember what it was later! This way I have a reference! You may want to try it - no matter how silly - it gives you something to look forward to!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Happy Birthday to my MAMA!

Thanks mom. Thanks for being a great mom.
You are my everything!

Everything Mom
How did you find the energy, Mom
To do all the things you did,
To be teacher, nurse and counselor
To me, when I was a kid.
How did you do it all, Mom,
Be a chauffeur, cook and friend,
Yet find time to be a playmate,
I just can’t comprehend.
I see now it was love, Mom
That made you come whenever I'd call,
Your inexhaustible love, Mom
And I thank you for it all.
I love you mom!

Day 4 of my 31 day challenge.
Today I am going to challenge myself to nap. YES. I say the 3 letter word. N A P. For those of you who do not know me, I hardly ever, sorta NEVER...nap.

I am really tired.

It seems the dreaded stomach flu has hit the Lindner home. Poor Turner has blessed our sofa and our floor with the ever so lovely vomit - aka "pee-uq" (as Trevie calls it) all night. He is so weak and pale. I pray it goes away ASAP and that we all do not come down with it.
That being said...I have a full day of work ahead and not much sleep.
Hence...the NAP. Wish me luck!

Today's Tidbit...
I know this is random...but ever wonder what to do with those tiny pieces of bath soap that are too hard to wash with? Some nurses were talking today about this. One said... when white shirts have minor stains (such as ballpoint pen marks, or colored blobs), she simply rubs the bath soap on the stain, adds a bit of clorox, and magically makes the ink stain go away. On colors she simply rubs the soap on as a pretreater and throws it in the hamper. She swears it takes most stains out and recycles the soap at the same time! Another said - she saves all the little slivers of soap during the winter and throws them in a kiddie pool in the summer. She washes flip flops, sports equipment, the patio chair covers, etc. in the pool. She also said it is great to use to give your kids an outdoor "bath" after a fun day at the park or beach! Go figure!

Saturday, January 3, 2009
Happy 18th Birthday to our friend

I hope your day is extra special!
xo Love you! xo

She is the best babysitter!!!

Day 3 of my 31 Day Challenge...

Today I am going to write a letter to someone. I have not decided yet - who. I will do it the old fashioned way and actually put pen to paper, sign seal and mail! An old custom - lost in the world of email!
Watch your mailbox - I could be writing YOU!

Today's TIDBIT...
EAT your way to Thicker and Healthier Hair!

Nutritionists have pinpointed certain vitamins and minerals that have proven to be beneficial. I have listed some here along with the foods in which they can be found.

The B vitamin biotin appears to thicken hair fibers, lessen shedding and enhance hair growth. You will find this in brewers yeast, soy flour, cereals, egg yolk, milk, nuts, vegetables, raw beef liver, raw oysters, and cauliflower.

It is also reported that an iron deficiency can cause a woman’s body to stop producing hair until the iron is replaced. Foods high in iron are liver, lean red meat, chicken, pork, salmon, egg yolk, pumpkin seeds, dried peas and beans, bran, blackstrap molasses, prune juice, raisins, peanut butter, apricots, green beans, walnuts, cashews, pecans and almonds.

Iron absorption is increased by Vitamin C, so it seems we also need to make sure we get the recommended amount of that nutrient by eating oranges, grapefruit, potatoes, broccoli and brussel sprouts, red and green peppers, tomatoes, cabbage and collard greens.

Hummm - I wonder if we take a BIOTIN supplement if it would do the same?? Couldn't hurt! I'll give it a try and let you know!

Friday, January 2, 2009

I took a leap of faith today and submitted an application at Kaiser Hospital for ANY available position that I may be suited for. Pray that I hear something...our finances are DIRE...

I also learned that as of January 1, 2009 we employees get to park in the far east lot and walk to the hospital. It is 3/4 a mile. No problem - I AM trying to walk more - so I was actually smiling at the security guard when he told me. (This threw him for a curve.) He said - "You look okay with this..." I told him - "No problem at all - I will enjoy the walk as long as it is not raining!".

I finished my shift and met up with Chloe and Megan. We had some girl time and then ate. I took another leap and tried Mediterranean food. I have never tried it and prayed that I could make a reasonable choice given my new weight loss plan. I had grilled salmon - it was delicious!

I am home now trying to warm up. The fog and misty day is a cool one - in the 40's. I know it could be worse! I took yet another leap and ate soynuts, dried cranberries and lemon almonds that they had at the hospital as my snack. I actually liked them all! Eating healthier is not such a bad thing if you just have an open mind!

Here are some facts on SOY NUTS: (they taste like peanuts or the almost popped popcorn kernels at the bottom of the popcorn bucket!)
From Dr. Wells...
As you know, I'm a big fan of whole soy foods because the phytochemicals (called isoflavones) they contain have been shown in hundreds of studies to help prevent heart disease and several forms of cancer. They firm the skin and help prevent wrinkles. Like other soy foods, roasted soybeans - known as "soy nuts" - deliver these health benefits, and they're a tasty and nutritious snack. A one-ounce serving (about one-quarter of a cup) amounts to 120 calories, 10 grams of protein and six grams of fiber. It also contains four grams of fat, three of them unsaturated. You can get roasted soy nuts flavored, salted and unsalted. Try tossing them into a salad for some crunch.

Take a LEAP today - it just may pay off!
P.S. I did take the stairs - I did not huff and puff either :o)

January 2, 2009
“Blessed [happy] is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord” (Jeremiah 17:7).
Day 2 of my 31 Day Challenge...

I got my 10 push ups in yesterday and today! Yeah!
I work today. I am excited to see if there were any New Year's Babies born!
Let's see for today I vow to take the stairs at the hospital instead of the elevator! I park on the bottom and have to go up 3 flights. Then in the hospital the Postpartum is on the 3rd floor. I will see if I can do the stairs without huffing and puffing at the top! Wish me luck! (I'll let you know how it went tomorrow!)

Today's Tidbit:
The hope for your new year can be as bright as the promises of God. The Bible offers you confidence for the future—not based on your own ingenuity or determination, but on the love and mercy of God. Nothing in the coming year—rising prices, unemployment, family problems—yes, nothing can change this solid hope.

Remember Jesus offers what you could never purchase and no one can take from you... that is not based on your feelings or merits but on the never-ending mercies of God (Romans 5:8).

...freedom to know and enjoy God because Jesus Christ has taken the punishment for your sins (1 Peter 3:18).

...friendship that will never disappoint you because Jesus promised, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). eternal home where the killjoys of earth—selfishness, hatred, death—will all be gone (Revelation 21:4).

As you enter this new year, you can depend on yourself and wish for the best, or you can put your hope in God and His Son, Jesus Christ. Through faith in His Word you can be filled with hope that will never fail and life that will never end.

To make this real in your life, you can pray a prayer like this:

God, I know I can’t build a productive or happy life on my own—I need Your help and Your presence in my life. More importantly, I need Your forgiveness for all my sins and new life through Christ whose death paid the penalty for my sins against You. I now turn from my sins and invite Jesus Christ to be my Savior and Lord. Give me a NEW HOPE Lord.

“Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God” (Psalm 146:5).

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Get Your Veggies!

Kathy Kaehler
Trainer • Spokesperson • Author

and see me on
"Keeping up with the Kardashians"

One of the ingredients in my gummies is Hydrilla Verticillata. It is a rooted fresh water plant that grows abundantly in lakes and streams of Florida.
It possesses astonishingly high values of calcium, iron and vitamin B-12. A heavy weight when it comes to greens.

An interesting fact: The fruits and vegetables our parents ate when they were growing up were more nutritious than the ones we'll serve our children tonight.

On average, the produce we grow in the U.S. has lower levels of several vitamins and minerals today than it did 50-60 years ago.
Growing your own or buying organic can make up much of the difference but not all.

New research from Rodale News on 2-20-09 shows that fruits and veggies are losing 40% nutrient content in some varieties. The analysis was published in Hort Science.
What this means is growers are breeding plants to produce higher yields that dilute the nutritional quality.
This doesn't mean to quit eating fruits and veggies, it simply means we need to eat more of them, which is a challenge for parents. Most kids will not sit down to a plate of broccoli or spinach.
Ultimately it would be great to have your own garden, but in our changing climates, geographic locations, reality of our lifestyle, this may not be possible for the majority.

Buying organic is the next best thing, but in these troubled economic times the cost may keep you at the regular markets. You can make better choices buying smaller sizes of produce as they are more nutrient dense and have better flavor. You can also buy heirloom varieties as they will not be over bred and will be more nutrient dense.

Ultimately we are challenged daily by finding a way to consistently provide the nutritional benefits of fruits and veggies. As a mother of three and working full time, I had to do something. I created the Gummies, a power house of greens that have the benefits of 12 fruits and vegetables in each yummy gummy.

It's HERE! A New YEAR!
A fresh start!

Today is the first day of my 31 day challenge!

Today I will vow to do 10 push ups every day in the month of January.
I know - a tiny goal - but you have to start somewhere!


Chocolate can be GOOD for you!
Eating DARK chocolate in moderation helps lower your blood pressure and contains 3 times more antioxidants that Green Tea and 2 times more flavonoids than Red Wine! YUM! So eat a square a day! It also boosts your mood! What a great excuse to eat chocolate!
Go indulge!