Friday, April 30, 2010
Today marks the 14th day that Taylor has been in the Phoenix House.
Our lives now, at times border on boring. I can not describe the strange peace that has fallen on our home like a blanket of fresh, unspoiled snow. The beauty of knowing that our son is safe and warm at night is indescribable. I have a sense of calm when I lay my head on my pillow at night. I feel like I have been given a new life. We have all been given a new life. A refuge. We have been blessed. Our bruised and broken hearts have been mended.
It is not that we do not miss Taylor, we do. We miss HIM, the Taylor that we once knew, but not the person he had become. We have not seen the real Taylor in a long time. The Taylor that is not impaired, high or intoxicated. The happy, content Taylor. That boy has been gone a long time. The impact of his addiction is clear in his younger brothers. One misses him, one does not mention him, one is inquisitive yet at peace that he is away.
Yet, he is very loved. He always has been and always will be.
Today I wanted to call the man who was instrumental in "giving Taylor a chance". The man who after many phone calls and doors slammed shut - called me with the words that changed my life. The man who told me that he had arranged for Taylor to get into the Phoenix House. I went back to listen the voice mail with his name and number on it and then called.
I asked for him and was told - "There is no one here by that name." So, I asked "What number can I reach him at?" I was put on hold only to be told that no one in the office had ever heard of him.
Shocked - I listened to the voice mail again and re-dialed. I asked for a supervisor. After being placed on hold a woman came on. I told her that on Thursday, April 15th at 2:32 pm I got a message from Mark Sailors at this number. I told her that he left me a message and that he was the one who arranged for my son to get into the Phoenix House. She told me that they did not have an employee by that name or any name close to that. She was matter of fact - to the point and was borderline annoyed with my instance. She curtly told me to have a nice day and ended the call.
I immediately went to my laptop - I Googled his name looking for an answer, an explanation. Nothing.
"LET IT BE" rung in my head. " JUST LET IT BE."
Weird. Totally weird. Unexplainable. Tiny hairs on my neck and arms stood at attention sending a cold chill down my spine.
Irritated, yet intrigued I rushed about getting ready to go meet my friend Karen for lunch. I will ask Karen what she thinks. She will have an answer. Satisfied I drove to meet her with Trevan in tow. We chatted and caught up with each other over a nice meal.
As our time together was drawing to an end - I asked her
"What do you know about Angels?" setting the tone prefacing the question with "Don't think I am crazy or anything, but..."
She said - "Oh, I think they exist for sure!" Then I told her what had happened.
She shuttered and rubbed her arms - "Whoo - I just got the chills!" she responded. "Yeah - weird; huh?" I told her I had the same reaction. We both agreed - that it was God's hand.
We smiled at each other then we just "LET IT BE."
I have shared this with 2 others this afternoon - and both people also, got the chills.
Amazing. God, He is a mighty AMAZING God. I know this, yet - I am surprised each time he reveals Himself to me. Why is that? I know he is almighty and powerful.
He tells us to expect miracles. I just am so human. Forgive me Father, for not having more faith and trust in YOUR word.
I feel chosen. Taylor was chosen. It is not an accident. Years of sorrow.
God chose to bring us through the storm to taste this incredibly flavored rainbow in the form of a miracle. He knew that before Taylor was born he would enter into a rehab center after years of addiction on MY 43rd Birthday. It was already written in Taylor's Life Book.
I know that man who called me - was an Angel. An Angel that God sent to deliver that message. The message that WE would be delivered.
For this I will be eternally grateful.
Angels are essentially “ministering spirits,” (Hebrews 1:14) and do not have physical bodies like humans. Jesus declared that “a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have” (Luke 24:37-39). The Bible does, however, make it clear that angels can only be in one place at a time. They must have some localized presence. Angels can take on the appearance of men when the occasion demands. How else could some “entertain angels unaware” (Hebrews 13:2)?
Labels: Angels on Earth