Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Expecting Miracles

I must admit it has taken me nearly 5 days to digest what has happened.

You see, I know that I have experienced a miracle.

On Thursday April 15th shortly after I hit "post" on the entry below, I got another phone call.  It was one in a series of calls that transpired over the next few hours.

I had been told that Taylor was being released from jail and that his social worker could not place him ANYWHERE.  He did not meet criteria for any of the homeless shelters, or programs that were offered for people like him.  We were given NO options other than to let the jail turn him into the streets, penniless, unable to find shelter, without food and medicines.  

HOW could I do that to my own son?  I knew having him back in our home was not an option.  I knew in my heart of hearts that I would be having an emotional breakdown on my birthday.  Instead of going the next day for a much needed rest at my mom and dad's, I would be going to a mental hospital.

I ripped my heart out bleeding before God.  I told Him He was going to have to "fix" this situation.  I do not advocate "telling God what to do" - but I had reached a point of brokenness like I had never felt before.

Years of pent up frustration and anger spilled out.  I cried, I shook, I prayed.  Sadly, little Trevan looked on.  He wanted to fix his mommy.  He wanted to help me.  I held him and I cried in between one dead end phone call then another.

I was told by the Public Defender's Office that Taylor was not even sentenced to REHAB - which he was.  I was told by the Phoenix House that he was not and never was on their waiting list.  I was told by his social worker that she had no options to offer me.  DEAD ENDS.  No help - no hope?

I dug deep.  I had to cling to the last shred of HOPE that I had.  I knew that the Lord will never leave nor forsake me.  So, I stopped.  I bossed God around.  I told Him - "Here you go God - FIX this, because I can't.  I need a MIRACLE and only YOU can do that."

I don't know what I expected.  I did not actually expect a MIRACLE - those just don't happen everyday.  

So, when I got a phone call a few minutes later from a man telling me that if we could bring Taylor to the Phoenix House when he was released from jail with 30 days of meds and they would take him, I nearly dropped the phone.

I felt a numbness come over me and I went into autopilot.  I made one call then another - then another.  Trying to process all the information and not get my hopes up.  I knew somewhere, someone - had made an error.  I knew this was too good to be true.

I called his doctor to find she left for the day.  No problem.  God took care of it.  A nurse called her on her cell and got the prescriptions for 30 days of medication.

Taylor's Medi-Cal had been canceled.  I knew his prescriptions would not be covered.  No problem.  God took care of that.  We went to the pharmacy and found his insurance was still in effect.

We got the call at 12:30 in the morning to go pick him up from jail.  It took 3 hours to get him home and we only had a couple hours of sleep before taking him to the Phoenix House.

Stace got him there only to find the admissions coordinator did not show up.  They waited one hour, then another - then another.  I was sitting on pins and needles knowing that the other shoe was about to drop.  Here was the hammer.  He would not get in - they would send him home.  No problem.  God took care of it.  She finally arrived and he was accepted.  

He was offered 3 months or 6 months and he took the 6 month program!  

A MIRACLE - on my Birthday - I received a true MIRACLE.  My son got into REHAB for SIX MONTHS!

He has been there for 5 days today.  He is doing well.  He will not see anyone for 30 days.  We will go to an orientation on May 5th then attend family meetings each Thursday night after that.

He can earn phone calls and day passes.

I have prayed for a Miracle for my son - I just fell short - as I did not EXPECT God to hear me and answer my cries.

I encourage you to not only pray for but to expect and prepare for miracles to happen in your life.  It will change you forever. 

God has big plans for my son - I know that.  I am just patiently waiting to see what he unfolds in His time.

Whatever it is - I know it will be AWESOME!