I never thought when I gave birth for the first time that my son would journey down the path of addiction and mental illness. Trying to get him help has proved to be the most challenging and most frustrating thing I have ever gone through.
The hospital released him, the social worker then placed him in an "out patient" treatment program that requires self control and discipline. He lacks both. After leaving the social workers office he was right back at it.
He called us yesterday repeatedly asking for money - he was slurring his words and not making sense. It was very clear he was under the influence of something. We took the tough love approach and denied him. He continued to call us late into the night.
Earlier yesterday I discovered that he stole my debit card when I took him to the social worker's office. I was able to get it back from him and he did not acknowledge that he took it. He claimed he had it by mistake as he was retrieving his ID from my wallet and must have accidentally took the debit card too. He is not trustworthy.
It breaks my heart to see him self destruct. It will be some time before they can get him into a residential treatment center - as there are waiting lists. Pray that he can go sooner than later. The longer he is left to his own devices the worse it will be.
He has a dual diagnosis -
A dual diagnosis occurs when an individual is affected by both chemical dependency and an emotional or psychiatric illness. Both illnesses may affect an individual physically, psychologically, socially, and spiritually. Each illness has symptoms that interfere with a person’s ability to function effectively and relate to themselves and others. Not only is the individual affected by two separate illnesses, both illnesses interact with one another. The illnesses may exacerbate each other and each disorder predisposes to relapse in the other disease. At times the symptoms can overlap and even mask each other making diagnosis and treatment more difficult.
As a parent it is our job to care for and fix things for our kids. It is so emotionally draining when things are so far out of your control and all you can do is sit back and watch. No one will ever know the heartache unless you are forced to live it. I pray that you will never feel what I am feeling where my son is concerned.
Pray for Taylor - he is in crisis.
We go today at 3:00pm to see his social worker - I hope she has some answers.