Monday, February 9, 2009

Oh to be the rubber ducky...

Today I am dog tired from a long work weekend. I decided that since I have SO much to get done I would take a quick, efficient shower and then dawn my jammies. Since it is pouring down rain - I figured I deserved a full fledged "kick it in your p.j.'s day".

We have a roman tub that is enclosed on 2 sides with glass and glass doors. Being challenged in height it is hard for me to step over the high, thick ledge and get into the shower. I blame today's misfortune on very poor architecture!
We usually have 2 of those plastic mats with little rubber hairy circles in the tub. Stace apparently decided after the boys bath to remove them and put them on the wall of the shower to rinse them.

I never - ever - use makeup remover but received a free sample in the mail. I decided to remove my mascara prior to my usual ritual of vigorously cleansing with medicated apricot face scrub.

I quickly found out why after all these years - I do not use make up remover. It was oily and got into my eyes blurring and stinging preventing me from seeing that the tub mats were removed.

As I attempted to step over the tall thick ledge my foot hit the slippery bath tub and I did the scissor splits right onto the track of the shower door.
I am actually embarrassed to tell you that this is the second time this has happened. The first time was when we first moved in and discovered that my short legs were a big challenge to successfully land me surefooted into the large tub. Thus prompting us to purchase tub mats!

As you can imagine - I hit a very tender area. (now twice - ouch!)

I righted myself and quickly ripped the mats off the wall of the shower and placed them where they belong for a solid footing. I was determined not to get killed today - at least naked in the shower.

As my luck would have it I went about my stealth rituals in bathing trying to hurry.

Not a good idea.

Some things should never be rushed! I was at the end of my cleansing rituals and I grabbed the exfoliating face scrub that I love so much - the generic one from Target - and began to quickly and efficiently scrub my face. I was in a huge rush and in my large circling motions combined with the superior lubricants and tiny exfoliating beads I accidentally jammed my pinkie finger way up my nose. I saw purple stars and think that I actually make contact with my brain creating a small lesion.

In which case, that would explain why I see it necessary to tell all of you what a klutz I am.

Perhaps a trip to Seattle Grace Hospital, to see one of the cute doctor's from Grey's Anatomy is in order!

I am sure by now you will agree that my chances of dying in the bathroom have been greatly increased due to the recent accidents I have suffered in the el banyo.

Perhaps in my next life I should come back as the "rubber ducky"...