Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.

Happy Father's Day to my Dad, Terry Fox. I did not gown up knowing him as "my daddy" although I am sure I was in his heart and mind each day as I was growing from a child into a teen and then a woman. My parents divorced when I was just a baby. My mom tried to be strong as my dad went to Viet Nam to serve our country. Things happened, lives changed. I never blamed my mom and never will. Life is filled with circumstances and we go on.

I grew up with a Step Dad - who is now, no longer living. My step dad, Ron had his struggle with alcohol addiction. As a child I did not understand his disease and grew to be very fearful of him and his unpredictability. I fantasized about my "real dad" and wondered where he was and what he was doing. I wondered if he loved me. My step dad tried to love us - he just was not good at showing it, or saying it. I know now dealing with an addict that who he really was - was not known because it was masked with a disease - called alcoholism.

I knew my "real dad's" family. I grew up knowing my Grandma and Grandpa Fox, my Aunts and Uncles. I would stare at my dad's photo on their wall and look at photos of him as a baby. I made him the daddy that loved me and was the best daddy in the world in my mind. I knew one day I would find him, and have him for my own.

As life would have it - when I was 24 my dad wanted to meet me. With my oldest Taylor then 18months in tow - I met him. I remember it like it was yesterday. We met at The Black Eyed Pea in Independence Missouri. My Grandma was by his side. We ate a lovely meal, he met his first grandson, Taylor.

My step dad had not been in my life since I was 14 or 15 after he and my mom divorced. I was happy to finally know my dad and have him in my life.

Just a few years later when Trenton was born, my mom was visiting me from California. My dad came to the front door and he and my mom had a chance meeting - planned I know by God. They had not spoken in 27 years. Their eyes met and I am sure their hearts skipped a beat. He came in and they talked all afternoon and late into the evening.

On October 18, 1996 - my mom and dad were remarried. Their original wedding date was October 18, 1963. I was the proud maid of honor and my Uncle John, who was my dad's best man 33 years earlier stood next to him again. I am proud to say that they will be celebrating their 13
th year of marriage this year.

is lucky - the second time around!!

So I got my wish - I got my "Daddy" after all. Although we lost so many years, I know he always did and always will love me. We are not close - but live close to each other. My dad is quiet and like me feels deeply and passionately about things. He is patriotic. He loves nature and animals. He has deep appreciation for God's work and is a God fearing man. We share many of the same qualities, quirks and favorites. It just goes to show that not all things come from "nurture" but by "nature". Some things are truly in the genes! I know when I need him he is there. I know he would give his life for me. I love you - dad!

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads, Daddies and Fathers out there!