Sunday, March 8, 2009

A Mother's Love...

As parents we are often told that we may face challenges beyond our comprehension. We all want to believe that we are doing the best job that we can do as caretakers of the precious lives that have been entrusted to our care. Peoples parenting skills and ideas are as diverse as our population. No two children are alike and there are no parenting handbooks that can prepare us for some of the heartbreaking decisions that some of us have to face.

Thursday night Taylor had an "episode" for the lack of a better description. He went into a "black rage" and it was frightening, terrifying and heartbreaking. We had to call 911 and have him transported to the hospital and held there. He was transferred to a county assessment facility on Friday. It was a very intimidating place. There was nothing nice about it. It did not look good, smell good and the people did not treat you like you even mattered. We encountered a very challenging "professional" who simply told us after 10 minutes with Taylor that he had no problems, was a rich spoiled brat that did what he did for nothing more than attention.

Our jaws dropped to the floor. I held my temper and was able to effective communicate the journey that we have been on with Taylor prior to and after his accident. I shared the results of his brain scan and told him of the brain injury that Taylor has suffered. Luckily they decided to keep him and transfer him next door to a county psych hospital for observation.

I was not able to prepare him, talk to him or let him know what was going to happen. I knew I was doing the right thing and prayed that it would be okay. It was the most gut wrenching thing I have ever done. My heart was in my throat and I could not hold back my tears as we drove away knowing that they were going to place him in restraints and take him to a lock down facility against his will. As a mama you do not ever want your child to be in fear, no matter their age. I had to put it in God's hands and ask for him to comfort all of us.

Saturday we had the task of clearing out the house by 5:00 pm and our goal was to get to see Taylor at 7:00pm that night. We tried furiously to pack, clean and make the deadline, but got to his hospital with 4 minutes of visitation left. I was able to hug him, see him and at least lay eyes on him and see that he was okay.

We are exhausted but are so grateful to those who came and cleaned, packed and helped us with the move. I also know that I have a host of friends that are praying for my precious boy. He may be an adult in the eyes of the law, but sadly he functions like that of a 12 year old. We know that we will have a long road to his recovery and also know that he has to want it for it to work.

Please lift him up in prayer and pray that this can be a new beginning for not only him but for our entire family. We have moved from what we once called "home" but will now make where ever we are our "home". We rejoice in the blessings of the timing of each thing - although we may not realize at that moment - that it is a blessing. We know God has perfect timing in all things and that we are just flawed humans - his children.

I love my new "home" and thank not only the Lord, but all the people who continue to support our family. I have never really experienced the love of "Jesus with skin on" like I have through this long journey.

I told Trenton that God is our "Travel Agent". We do not know the destination, some scenery is not so great - but there are beautiful sights and destinations ahead if we will only believe and "see" them.

I have more appreciation more and more each day for the heartache and love that my mother has experienced with each one of us kids. I know now exactly what she has lived through and continues to feel for us and her grandchildren.

A mother's love - it compares to no other. I can only imagine the heartache God felt when he witnessed his son dying on the cross for us - I am sure it was far greater that any heartache I have had.

I will keep you posted on Taylor's treatment plan and know that we are all safe - in a new "home" together, loving, appreciating and looking ahead to each new day.

I love you my friends - and your support means the world to me!