Spring is on it's way...and is one of my most treasured times of the year. My son Turner was diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder when he was 18 months old. When he was 10 months old (pictured above) I could not wait for spring and summer to come so I could take him to the park. I placed him in the swing and he within seconds crinkled up his nose then started to scream. I'll have to say I was really disappointed because I had thought that he would just LOVE coming out in the fresh air and spending time with me before his baby brother arrived 3 months later. I wanted a bonding experience...one I enjoyed.
Well we now know that he had gravitational challenges and he hated his feet off the floor. I tried time and again to take him to the park and place him in the swing. He hated it every time. Not just the swing - he hated being outside, hated the car ride, hated it all. I have now learned his limits and know now what is HIS idea of a fun time.
I have observed that we as adults try to make our kids conform, perform and be what and who we wish them to be. Having a child with special needs has forced me to think out of the box and take his lead. I think that as parents and spouses if we all tried to do this life could be and would be more stress free, care free and fun.
I am a work in progress. Once I learned that MY ideas were not what he thought of as a good time, and just let him be -things got easier.
I am now applying this to myself. I have stopped putting "Me" into a box. I have stopped trying to let MY ideas of who I think I should be, what I think I should do and who I think others expect me to be, dictate my life.
It is hard...but if you will "just be" in the moment and stop - just stop for a minute, you will see that you will begin to visualize joy.
Slowing my mind is a challenge. Slowing ME is a challenge. I am taking time to enjoy the SIMPLE pleasures of life with my boys. If I died tomorrow I would want to pass on to those I know and love the lesson I have learned.
That lesson is to STOP EXPECTING. When you have no expectations there are no disappointments. I do not get my feelings hurt. I do not get angry. I take things as they come, find the good - or at least try and focus on the positive. Simple things like the big yellow full moon that surprised me the other night as I came over the hill gave me a thrill. Seeing a huge white crane flying overhead while we were relaxing in the jacuzzi brought a rush of excitement. Seeing hundreds of flower blooms on the side of the road brings me a happiness and an appreciation for where I am.
I am trying to teach my boys that it is the simple, beautiful things in life that have been placed here by God for our enjoyment are the "things" we should treasure. Not our cell phones, iPods, Game Systems and so on.
So on that note - I am taking my 2 little guys on a nature walk with camera in hand. THEY will take the photos of what THEY find beautiful and interesting - no matter what that might be! We will make a book and let you preview it! Wish us a fun filled adventure! Now go make your own!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Labels: Lessons learned...