Thursday, July 23, 2009

Pluot Season!

MMMMMM! Pluot's are ripe and ready to tantalize your taste buds!

What a heavenly treat! I had NEVER heard of or seen this funky looking fruit. I was in the store with the boys and we saw these ugly "dinosaur egg" like things next to the plums.
"Hummm...I wonder if these taste good?" I said to the boys. "Get one!" said Trevan.

So, I did. I purchased 3 to be exact.

Today, after a long day in the sun, watching the kids frolic and swim with friends from Turner's class, I came home and cut one of these open.

I had no idea WHAT it was, it was kind of ugly. I took a bite and ...OH MY! Delicious!
I was eating a DAPPLE FIRE PLUOT. A cross between a plum and an apricot. Simply wonderful. If you see these at your farmers market or grocery store - pick them up! They are only in season until the end of August. A delight of the summer!

I needed a bit of delight today. I find that life gives you waves. Waves of delight and waves of ugliness. I have had my share of ugliness this week - dealing with unreasonable people who find their delight in being negative and well...just plain UGLY.

It has always irritated me that people can waste precious time being mean. If people would take half of the time spent being ugly, and did something or said something nice...this world would be such a better place.

Test. I know. It is just a test. God is testing me to see how I handle UGLY. Well I am trying, Lord...really I am. Feelings, especially mine are easily hurt. I do not like to be at odds with people. I do not like conflict or dissension. I hate even more allowing myself to feel disappointment and hurt.

Walls. I have gotten use to building walls. I need to do just that again. I need to build a white brick wall around my heart and not let the actions of others tear down the wall and penetrate my heart. I learned as a child to do this. I would envision myself building a fortress brick by brick around my deeply feeling heart. That way when my friends or family would let me down I could imagine that the actions would just "bounce" off the bricks. Ha! I did not allow THAT to hurt me!

Accomplishment. Satisfaction. Did it work? Not really...well maybe a little. I am a big girl now. I have to "deal" with things differently. So now, I imagine the hurt, action, or person being put into a box. I close the box and tie it with a ribbon. I then envision myself laying the boxes at the feet of the Lord as he sits high on a mighty throne. He is so big, so lovely, so grand. He can handle any "box" I lay at his feet.

Then I attempt to move on. I am human, and I admit my flaws. I react when I should not. I cry when I can't help it. I harbor resentment and hurt. But not for long. I can't. Not only can I not afford to do so, I just do not have it in me any more. I have traveled a long road, had my share of brokenness and do not like to be in that place. Me and only me, with the help of God can "fix" it and make it better. No person, no action, no amount of money can heal a broken heart. You have to forgive. You have to move on. You do not have to forget. You can remember so that you will not travel there again. Learn lessons from your experiences.

People. They will always let you down. That is just the way it is. Put your sights on Him, the only one who can bring you through and out the other side. Jesus. I am thankful that I have Him, and feel SO sad for those who do not know Him.

When I feel I can't go on, when I look inside and there is nothing, I still have Him. I feel alone, lonely and misunderstood at times, but I am completely KNOWN to Him. For that reason alone I can get up each day and move through my life, no matter how badly I do not want to go on.

So, I will put the UGLY aside for this week.

I will hit delete when another ugly email comes.

I will be sad I am sure, when people go and do things that I had wanted to do without me, but I will live. I will go on. There will be other things to do and I am sure that the one who hurt me so does not even realize what she has done. I will forgive. I will move on.

I am a big girl...and big girls don't cry. (only sometimes)

Off to indulge in another PLUOT...that will put a smile on my face...if only for a moment!