I sit here now at 1:51 am writing to you after I sat up waiting to see if and when Taylor would choose to return. He walked out after a heated discussion regarding our "house rules". He chooses to be rebellious and disrespectful. As a parent it is so draining to love someone so much yet watch them destroy their lives under the guise of "adulthood" just because they are now 18.
I was riled up, hot and could not sleep. I decided to take up a bed on the sofa - which happens to be a small love seat. The bonus is that it is situated right by the wall mounted air conditioning unit. I knew I'd have to make a sacrifice and wake up with a kink in my neck and find a way to sleep scrunchy style if I wanted to be cool.
As I finally decided to give in to the heaviness of my eyelids I spotted a nasty, hairy, big spider on the ceiling. He was across the room - above the T.V. and I had no way to "get him". I rationalized that he would probably stay to his side of the room and the chances of him actually honing in on me in the night were slim. I attempted to doze off and every now and again I would open my eyes and scan the rugged popcorn textured ceiling to see if he was approaching. Darn it! He was after all coming this direction.
Creepy. I hate crawlie things and I am allergic to spider bites. Another cause for worry to burden my already crowded thoughts.
I decided to just relax and pray. As I was finally slipping into a blissful state of slumber - I was nearly jolted out of my skin. I jumped what felt like a foot off the loveseat and imagined leaving my bones behind. As I felt my skin return to my skeleton the loud knock came again.
"Oh GREAT...is it the Police?" I thought as I jumped up. I stood on my toes to attempt to peer into the darkness through the peep hole that was drilled too high for those who are vertically challenged. I could not see a darn thing! I then heard a familiar voice with a dreaded slurring - "MA!! ...MOM! Open UP!" it was Taylor.
I opened the door only to have him nearly knock me over with his now more bulky frame. He was unsteady on his feet, eyes glazed over and slurring his words. We proceeded to exchange words - peppered with him telling me "You're Trippin'...Get Outta My Face..." among "What the $#@% is the BIG deal?" and so on.
Trying to keep him contained as to not wake the others - I decided that there is no reasoning with unreasonable. Weather drunk or high there was no getting my point across - this would have to wait until the morning.
After a battle - he literally fell down onto the floor and passed out snoring. I sat and reflected on what he was like as a little boy who called me "Honey Lamb" and told me I would forever be his "Sweet Peet". As tears slid down my cheeks I longed to go back and do those days all over again. If I only knew then what I know now - what could I have done differently I wondered. Where did we go wrong. Where did he zig when we zagged?
I was having a personal pity party when I saw that darn creepy crawlie directly above me. Angry and upset I would take out my frustrations on this 8 legged monster. I jumped on the loveseat armed with the golf club from Wii Sports. I should have known better - the darn thing is made of soft foam. As I went to squish the creature he came flying down right on to the bed I had made myself. I got the chills and goosebumps quickly popped up on my arms and legs.
EWWWW Gross - I thought to myself! I have an impaired snoring son on the floor and now I have to share MY sacred makeshift bed with a SPIDER! I shook all the covers in a violent fashion watching carefully for him to go flying. NO LUCK. Creeped out I decided to take another cold shower. I returned to once again hunt for him to no avail.
I can't possibly relax knowing that he could become one of those statistical spiders that you swallow in your sleep. I don't really believe that is true. It was printed on a popcicle stick as one of the crazy gross "factoids". What were they thinking? Did they intend for you to get so grossed out you would barf then have to consume another of their frozen treats to take your mind off of it? Perhaps. One never knows the lengths companies will go for the sake of driving sales up.
At any rate - who wants to take their chances? I do not like things crawling on my body when I am awake let alone asleep! I will attempt to busy myself - writing to you here on my blog and get on Facebook to engage in playing word games, perhaps take a quirky quiz and read about what people are up to at this hour. All in an attempt to avoid being disrupted and having my personal space infringed upon by a stupid spider! Maybe I will forget all about him and finally catch a few winks before morning comes and I have to deal with the realities of having a son with serious addictions.
It has been fun - spending a few sleepless minutes with you at this hour. It is now 2:25 am - and I think I will check out the goings on - on Facebook.
Till tomorrow - oh - it IS tomorrow!