Friday, August 28, 2009

Feelin Hot!...Hot!...Hot!

Feelin Hot!...Hot!...Hot!

Okay is it me - or is it HOT outside?!
I know some of you are in MUCH hotter parts than here in Irvine, CA...but 101 degrees is not my idea of a "warm summer day".  I love warm days.  You know the ones that don't get above 80, have the nice offshore breeze blowing the wisps of hair from your eyes, days.   

I am not a big fan of the DOG GONE HOT days - the blistering, make you sweat from your eyelids to your toenails, can't find any clothing that won't stick to your body, gonna cost you a fortune to run the air conditioning HOT days!
Don't drop me and MY kids on a Survivor Episode in the middle of the desert because I am pretty sure someone would die.  Not of a heat related issue either.  I do not know why the heat inside our tiny apartment that has the itty bitty wall mounted air conditioning unit that is droning on with a strain in the motor in an effort to cool just a teeny portion of the room...causes my boys to FIGHT one another like they are 'Marvelous' Marvin Hagler going against Thomas 'Hit Man' Hearns.  

The heat seems to warp their brains and bring out the brawn.  The worst of it is that my 13 year old goes head to head and toe to toe with my now 5 year old!  It makes me C R A Z Y!  

Today I had had enough!  After they went at it during a migraine headache that I was battling due to the lack of water I was taking in and my body's inability to deal with heat, combined with the fact I had no sleep last night and spent a day in court with TAYLOR - I snapped!
I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the first weapon I could find to wield.  I searched frantically as they were chasing one another in our 12 x 12 living room nearly knocking over my $18 table.

My eye saw it as fast as my hand could grab it.  The dreaded black plastic slotted spoon.  This is not your Grandma's Old Wooden Spoon - they don't make them as strong as "back in the day".  

This is a snazzy Hip and Trendy Black Slotted with a Green Handle, that matches my beachy kitchen SPOON.  I snapped it up and hit it on the counter top as one of them whizzed past me trying to get behind me as a human shield.  They thought twice when they spotted my weapon.
"STOP IT!"  I strained trying to raise my voice in a low, stern growl - careful not to burst the veins pounding in my head.  "YOU!" I said frothing at the mouth with tiny spit bubbles forming - "GET IN MY ROOM!" I said pointing the spoon towards my door.  Trevan took off running to take shelter on my bed.  He was not sure what was up with the spoon as I have not resorted to using kitchen utensils as discipline tools as yet.  

"AND YOU!" I growled pointing the spoon at my teenager.
"BUT...," Trenton began.  "He started it." he retorted.  "I told you to load the dishwasher and take out the trash an HOUR ago!" Now DO IT!" I said making my eyes into tiny slits as I think this helps drive the point home that I am really - really mad.

"WHAT?! You never told me..." he had the audacity to argue.  I inched closer to him with the spoon over head - "DO NOT ARGUE - just DO IT!"  I said raising my voice just a few decibels higher than I had before.  Ducking from me he managed to escape as I made a swing at his butt.

Now I was really HOT - not only in temper but in temperature!  When mama's hot everybody better get outta the way!  I despise being overheated and out of control.  I went over to the wall mounted A/C Unit in an attempt to cool myself off.  

Mildly cool air - not cold mind you was meagerly puffing out.  I wanted to call the leasing agent who, when I expressed a concern while on the apartment tour, told me that these lil babies were highly efficient in cooling the WHOLE PLACE down.  

BALDERDASH! %#@*&;  ... I wanted to take my black slotted spoon right on down to that leasing office and wave it around!  

I thought better of it thank goodness.  

I decided a nice COLD shower would be a great way to remedy the heat.  I pray for a cooling trend - I work much better when it is cooler out!  I hope you are surviving the HEAT of the SUMMER!