Thursday, August 6, 2009

Summer Spontaneity

Spontaneity is grand! I love to be spontaneous! What I love more is seeing this in my kids! It makes me feel connected. I don't have any girls that resemble me - so having a son or two with some of my personality traits feels great. I have four boys so the odds that I have at least one in the bunch who share my spunk and spontaneous demeanor should be in my favor.

My first born is Taylor. Is he spontaneous - uh...not so much. He likes to plan, know what is happening at all times and wants to be in control of his plans.

Trenton is more like mama. He can switch it up, get up and go. He will, however ask you every question in the book surrounding the spontaneous plan of action. Then he may choose to dissect why your plan will not work out. He has his dad's personality trait of seeing the glass half empty at times!

Turner having
Aspbergers Syndrome is more like Taylor. He NEEDS to know what is going to happen each step of the way. The not knowing can make him melt down in anxiety and this is not a fun thing for him or you to have to deal with. Tears flow, crying becomes decibels and decibels higher, then he melts to the floor in a human puddle. His body grows limp and if you try to lift him up you could seriously strain something that could land you on bed rest.

Now we have Trevan. He is last, but by far not least. He is my little wild one. Tiny but mighty. He is pictured above running in a state of spontaneity to where ever his little feet will take him. His hands are busy every moment, his mind travels faster than his mouth can talk. He is up for anything - anytime. No questions asked if the word "go" is in the sentence - he is off!

My husband Stace, is not spontaneous by any stretch. I am sure that he has rethought his decision to marry me and make me his wife more than well, a hundred occasions. We are as opposite as night and day. I love to joke, he is serious. I love to go to bed late and sleep in. He goes to bed early and is up with the sun. I love going to the movies - he could stay at home. I love going on walks, he thinks this is torture. I would love to go to a gym to workout and he would rather sit in an easy chair with a remote control and a 6 pack. When I was 21 years old I lacked the ability to see all the opposites as a challenge in a life long relationship. I thought that it was "so cute" that we were so - different. Oh isn't young love interesting?!

I love to just "go for it". Here is a typical thing that happens in our home on any given weekend. I have just made a plan in the heat of the moment, packed us all up and said
"C'mon we are heading out today for an Adventure!" In my mind P.B&J Sandwiches, Bottled Water, Grapes and Pretzels packed with beach towels, sand toys, a good magazine, sunscreen and maybe change to get an ice cream sounds like a great day at the beach for a family bonding experience.

Then the reactions flow fast and furious like a thundering waterfall.
"WHAT THE HECK?" yells one.
"COOL! Where are we going and what time are we leaving?" asks the next. "I AM NOT LEAVING, I AM PLAYING VIDEO GAMES!" cries another.

My husband sits looking at me with a deer in the headlights look and I can see his mind is whirling. It takes him a moment before he can speak.

says the little guy running to the door with his shoes in hand.

"Uhhh...What do you mean by "an adventure"? my husband slowly asks. "Do we have to? I was going to watch drag racing today." he says as he has his feet kicked up with his beloved remote control in hand. He is one with his easy chair and looks like he has taken root there.

Here it starts. My rebuttal speech, my charm and wit kick in. In an effort to debunk any and all objections I find quick answers to all the problems that could be and will be presented in relation to my "colorful spontaneous plans".

"You can record the Drag Racing on the DVR, and Turner - you can play video games anytime!"
I cheer. "It is a beautiful day and we can all get out for fresh air and fun!
We are all set - I have everything we need but you all!"
I feel like a cheesy salesman in a used car commercial.

"It is really hot outside today."
states one of my competitors in a matter of fact tone. "Yeah and it is summer - people are always out everywhere - I hate being around tons of people." adds his counterpart.

"I worked hard all week long and am tired I really didn't want to go anywhere." says my loving husband. "W H E R E are we going ANYWAY? says my 13 year old. "It's probably someplace dumb..." says my oldest.

"We have no money - so remember that dear, ..."
says my husband - my thoughts of defeat are louder than his lecture in my mind and I don't hear the rest of his sentence. I tune out all the "others" and wonder why I even try.

I just "give up" as it seems there are more objectors than there are willing participants.

When I throw my hands in the air and tell them all to
I become the bad guy.

Questions fly as to if I have P.M.S?!
Why is it that I am being unreasonable?
Why am I hot then cold, yes then no?
Why am I up and then down, wrong when it's right.
Why is it black then it's white...???

"CALGON! Take me away!" I think.

Suddenly. There she is.

Loud as a freight train in my head I hear...

"TAKE ME AWAY! A secret place...
A sweet escape, TAKE ME AWAY!
Take me away to better days...
TAKE ME AWAY! A hiding place..."

I see her, Natasha Bedingfield in my living room - singing to me. She is bragging that she has a pocket full of sunshine...
Of all the nerve!

I have lost it...really.

So I decide to go,
by myself.
On an adventure that has lost it's spunk of spontaneity . . .

As I decide to go - I am flooded with -
"I am bored! I want to go!" says Taylor, "It's hot in here without the A/C on - I guess I go - it is just as hot out as it is in..." says Trenton.

"WAIT! You are not going to leave the little guys here with me are you?" asks my husband.

Ohhhhhh - the joys of being SPONTANEOUS!
You would think I would learn! Not!