I have realized that being aware of ones self, being selfless, and being selfish are all very closely knit. One of my goals in life is to be a woman who is fully aware of herself, who is selfless and can cast selfishness aside.
Sounds really good - doesn't it?
Getting there is a journey...a process. Kind of like a 3 ring circus.
To become truly "selfless" you have to be fully aware of your "self".
As you grow in self awareness, you will better understand why you feel what you feel and why you behave as you behave. That understanding then gives you the opportunity and freedom to change those things you’d like to change about yourself and create the life you want. Without fully knowing who you are, self acceptance and change become impossible.
Why change? you ask.
Most people move through life unhappy more than 50% of the time. Most people lay blame on others for their unhappiness. If they had a better spouse, if they had a better job, if they had a better house...
It is not until you change the way you think and stop blaming others that you can get a handle on your own self awareness.
Once you become aware of who you are, what makes you tick and what makes you happy you are more free to realize that you can not rely on the actions of others to MAKE you happy.
Happiness has to come from within.
Living with people who can not or do not wish to become more aware of themselves is a dubious task. It is extremely challenging. Children are very selfish. Their world from the time they are born is about ME...ME...ME!
Trying to raise kids today and having any kind of hope that you will be successful in raising a selfless individual is a monumental undertaking.
As with most things - people learn by watching others. Teach by example. It would be so easy to achieve my goal of being a selfless person if I could cast all the SELFISH people aside!
Isn't that an oxymoron!
In order to fill my life with happiness I would rather not deal with selfish kids and a selfish spouse (no offense guys!) But would that not just be the most selfish thing? Yes - as you see it is a double edge sword.
To become selfless you must care about every single person and value them more than your own self. To truly become selfless you must have unconditional love for everyone. This includes any and all people you do not like. Even those that cuss you, upset you and attack you. I seriously do not know how Jesus did it. At times when people have upset me it is because they have completely MISUNDERSTOOD me.
Very few people really take the time and invest in others. Many people just do not want to be bothered. They know what THEY feel and trying to put themselves in YOUR shoes to feel what you feel is ...well, a hassle. That takes time. It takes pulling out of yourself and trying on shoes that are too tight and uncomfortable.
I think that is why very few people have TRUE lifelong relationships. Is it not just easier to cast someone aside when they have wronged you? Is it not easier to just erase them from your "friend" chalkboard? Of course it is!! How many relationships are wasted because people do not take the time to look within, do some self searching and then become unselfish and work things out with others? Of course there is a difference between healthy relationships and those that are unhealthy. You have to discern who you want to share your journey with. Know you can not be responsible for CHANGING someone. You can only CHANGE YOURSELF and the rest will follow.
Humility. Humbleness. Honesty.
How can we serve our self and help ourselves be the best we can be if we are not HONEST with with ourselves? If we can not be HUMBLE we will be selfish. If we do not practice the act of HUMILITY we will never know the depth of the friendships and love that God has in store for us. Therefor we can not BLAME anyone but ourselves for our unhappiness!
We are just faulty humans. We can not make big changes on our own volition. We need God and God needs us to need him. Becoming selfless is much easier than losing yourself. To let yourself go is more like it than becoming selfless. It is to fall and let go and let God. Completely different concept. You must free fall and realize the complete loss of ego. All credit goes to God. It is the acknowledgment and comes much later than acceptance.
It is all a very linear process.
I am no expert and believe me I am not judging you or preaching to you. I am just sharing my journey of awareness each step of the way!
I hope that what I am learning will help others. I will be giving all the credit to God!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Labels: Selflessness is a process...