Sunday, October 4, 2009

Happy Fall...

To NEED help is hard.  To RECEIVE help is HUMBLING.

I thank the Rentrops and the Crookshanks for helping us today with some necessary items.  You have blessed us tremendously.

Today is the first day we have had a brisk chill in the air.  I LOVE FALL!  In years past when times were more blissful, I would have the hay bail on the front porch all decked out with a scarecrow, Indian corn and a host of beautiful pumpkins that would be carved into dazzling jack-o-lanterns.  We would together decorate the porch and entry to welcome our guests.  It was an all weekend affair.  I would relish in purchasing the Yankee Candle I love in Pumpkin Pie scent and would be burning it to fill the house with the smell of fall.  We lived in the Midwest and the glorious trees would be changing from green to reds, bronze, golds and oranges.  I LOVED this more than anything!  Little Squirrels would scamper about collecting acorns to store for the winter. People would begin cutting wood for their fireplaces and you would catch a scent of an early fire burning on a chilly night.  We would rake leaves into huge piles and take turns jumping in them.

We would be planning what Halloween Costumes the kids would be wearing and if mommy would be sewing them or if they would be items purchased to make the costume.  We would go shopping for flannel shirts and long sleeve tees to wear with jeans and the new boots that we bought before school started.  We would be making delicious pot roast and veggies in the crock-pot all day long to enjoy with homemade bread that I crafted in our bread machine.  Those were days filled with after dinner walks, watching daddy in the front yard doing fall planting, and going to the pumpkin farm to buy giant pumpkins and tag our Christmas tree.  

Our front door would be cheery with a fall wreath that I handmade and the windows would sport tissue paper jack-o-lanterns made by the boys at school.  I was the room mom and would be planning a lavish Fall Feast.  I would decorate mini gourds with the kids names on them and enlisted the help of Taylor and Trenton in making little ghosts out of tootsie pops and tissue.  Life was simple back then. 

I miss those days.  Here I sit in beautiful California surrounded with blue sky decorated with the fluffiest white clouds.  Palm Trees sway in the crisp breeze and there is no tree in sight with changing leaves.  I watch as people pass by on bicycles in shorts and tees.  Kids still frolic in the swimming pool and run to the jacuzzi.  

I am blessed to live in such a beautiful place only a short drive to the shore, which is my favorite place to be.  We do not have a lawn to keep or a place to tend beautiful fall mums.  I don't have room for the scarecrow or pumpkins and doubt if we will be able to get pumpkins to carve this year.  I do not have my pumpkin pie candle to burn and there are no little squirrels scampering and collecting nuts for the long winter.  I no longer have a fireplace to sit next to and relax by.  I will not be making costumes this year and do not think we will be able to afford buying some.  There is no money for flannel shirts and long sleeve tees, no boots purchased before school started.  I do not have a crock pot any longer as we had to give it away when we lost our home.  No bread machine for home made bread either.  We have no room for a Christmas Tree - so going to a farm and tagging one is out.  My little guys will miss out on some of the wonderful traditions that we had with their older brothers.  But that is okay.  They will survive.

I will be sad.  But we are together and we have our health.  I will not focus on what we do not have but instead help them to see what we do have.  We DO have a home.  It is not lavish or big.  I don't know for how much longer we will be able to afford this apartment, but today we have a HOME.  We are all one on top of the other and no one has their own room, but it is a home none the less. 

My kids do not have a lot of toys, but they do have some and the ones they have, they cherish.  They went without for a time and know what it is like not to have.  For this I am thankful.  I will do what I can to make this time magical for them.  We will find new traditions to do with these boys.  I may not have a lot, but I have THEM.  

Each day I go in to wake them all, I pause and watch as they sleep.  Three of them in one room asleep.  Taylor sleeps in the living room on an air mattress.  I watch him too.  They all look so peaceful and I say a little prayer of thanks.  God blessed me with these boys and he will help me raise them up.  He will see that we have all we NEED.   

Nothing more - nothing less - that is all I pray for.  Just keep them healthy Lord.  Keep them safe.  They may not always be happy - but we try our hardest to help them move through this life.  I try to instill that there is HOPE in each new day and for that YOU need to be thankful.  I pray we raise Godly men with integrity. 

When they are grown they will not care if they had Halloween pumpkins or costumes.  They will not remember my pot roast and homemade bread (or lack there of).  They will not care about my pumpkin pie scented candle.  They will care that we loved them just the same and we were here for them.  They will be better for knowing what it is like to do without and not having everything that everyone else has.  They will have appreciation for what they are able to give their kids.  I believe this with all my heart. 

So, where ever you are...cherish your traditions with your kids.  Be thankful for your pumpkins and your flannel shirts.  Make homemade pot roast in your crock pot.  Burn a pumpkin pie scented candle and think of me!

Happy Fall Ya'all~