Wow - one of the things that perplexes me most is how fast time goes. The weekend was much too short. It was filled with excitement - not of the fun kind. I cooked all day Saturday and froze yummy meals like Vodka Sauce with fresh veggies, meatloaf, white chili, veggie stew and bagged fresh veggies to pop into the microwave in the steamer bags. Sunday we did laundry all day. Taylor accidentally singed his hair, eyebrow and eyelashes trying to light the gas grill. Moments later the ceiling fan in the kids room shorted out and rained little fireballs and sparks down on top of all who were in the room.
Exciting. Now it is Monday.
I spent most of the "free time" this weekend applying for jobs online.
My little guys are hooked on playing "Cafe World" on Facebook. We went without the internet for months and I called to see what kind of "deal" I could get if we got it hooked up again. I am actually getting it free for 3 months and then $24.95 after that! Huge discount from the $49.99 they were charging! I feel "connected" once again to the world!
This verse keeps ringing in my head... with rent almost due and bills to be paid...
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:34
I will try to keep my focus on the here and now. Let tomorrow's troubles wait until tomorrow. Friday the boys have Halloween Parties at school and I have yet to figure out the costume situation. I had better get on that!
While taking Turner to school today he stopped 30 feet from his classmates. He told me he could no longer wear his jacket with Buzz Lightyear on it. He said he needed a plain one. He then went on to request that Daddy bring him to school. He told me that he did not like my hair. He said he liked it when it was beautiful. He then went on to tell me that my toenails needed some nice polish!
My heart sank. Could it be? Could I be standing here being rejected by my 6 year old? Tell me it isn't so!
I knew this day would come...I just did not expect it now at age 6. I then could not stop thinking of Trevan. He is 5 and the first time I volunteered in his class he announced to everyone that I was not his mom, but rather his cousin visiting from China.
Are my kids embarrassed of me? I know I have not been able to get my hair done in ages, have not visited a nail salon in forever, don't really have many clothes to speak of, have put on weight...wow.
So much for the "Journey to the new Me" that I set out on at the beginning of the year!
Oh well...it is what it is and I am what I am. At least Jesus loves me no matter what!
Sometimes I dream. I dream about what things would have been, what could have been if I had made other choices long ago. But in the end - we never really know how things would have turned out. I could have been worse off - who knows!? God does not allow us to travel back in time - only forward. This is by His divine design. He has a purpose. I try not to focus on what could have been but rather on what can be.
No one knows what tomorrow holds. I just need to hold on to that and pray that tomorrow, when it comes will be filled with happiness, less stress and blessings.
I have dreams. I have hope. I have a relationship with Christ. I can't ask for a whole lot more.