I never knew until a couple years ago what it meant to be "stretched" by God.
I feel like God has stretched me so much that I have nothing left - I am gonna "snap"!
Doesn't God know this? Doesn't He know my limits? He fearfully and wonderfully made me - so I think he should.
I cried out to him today. "Enough God! I can't take any more!" I know he heard my cries.
He watched me as I walked to the swimming pool and peered into the blue water.
He saw the tears I cried as they fell into the calm water and rippled one then another.
He knows my heart feels like it has been torn.
He knows that I know in the deepest recesses of my heart that
He will hold me. I am weak but He is strong.
Right now I am just weary, tired and burdened.
Without the help from two caring souls - we would be short on rent this month. We have exactly $1560.00 in the bank and need to pay $1550.00 for rent.
TEN DOLLARS. We will have $10 left to get us through a week. What will we do for GAS? God knows. What will we do for any need that arises? God knows.
I guess it is not my business to know. It is His. I guess it is not my business to be burdened. It is His.
Is this easier said than done - yes - it is.
When you have kids it is your JOB to care for them.
I am a CHILD of GOD - it is his job to care for me. I know this in theory. Applying this to my life during times of trouble is hard.
I know - LIFE is HARD. Believe me - we get this. When is LIFE easy? Maybe when I was little kid life was easier. I don't know... I can't remember.
I am open for suggestions God. I have prayed - you have heard my prayers.
I will wait for your answers, Lord.
Until they come - I pray that you will hold us all in the palm of your hand.
Trying to keep the faith, hope and strength...