Saturday, October 3, 2009


I never knew until a couple years ago what it meant to be "stretched" by God.

I feel like God has stretched me so much that I have nothing left - I am gonna "snap"!

Doesn't God know this?  Doesn't He know my limits?  He fearfully and wonderfully made me - so I think he should.

I cried out to him today.  "Enough God!  I can't take any more!"  I know he heard my cries. 
He watched me as I walked to the swimming pool and peered into the blue water.
He saw the tears I cried as they fell into the calm water and rippled one then another.

He knows my heart feels like it has been torn.  

He knows that I know in the deepest recesses of my heart that 
He will hold me.  I am weak but He is strong.

Right now I am just weary, tired and burdened.

Without the help from two caring souls - we would be short on rent this month.  We have exactly $1560.00 in the bank and need to pay $1550.00 for rent.

TEN DOLLARS.  We will have $10 left to get us through a week.  What will we do for GAS?  God knows.  What will we do for any need that arises?  God knows.

I guess it is not my business to know.  It is His.  I guess it is not my business to be burdened.  It is His. 

Is this easier said than done - yes - it is.

When you have kids it is your JOB to care for them.  

I am a CHILD of GOD - it is his job to care for me.  I know this in theory.  Applying this to my life during times of trouble is hard.

I know - LIFE is HARD.  Believe me - we get this.  When is LIFE easy?  Maybe when I was little kid life was easier.  I don't know... I can't remember.

I am open for suggestions God.  I have prayed - you have heard my prayers. 

I will wait for your answers, Lord.

Until they come - I pray that you will hold us all in the palm of your hand. 

Trying to keep the faith, hope and strength...