Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I have arrived...

Well, I have arrived.

After an exchange last night with someone I realized that here I am in my 40's and I have arrived.

I really do not care or care to let the opinions of others dictate my actions or use it as a barometer of self worth.

As a kid growing up I wanted the approval of my parents and family.

In my teens I was searching for me and wanted the approval of my peers.

When I got married I hung my hat on the rack of "being a wife" and was searching for approval from my husband.

Now I am here.  I have been down many paths on my journey.

I have searched to find things that I found I never wanted in the first place.  I have faced rejection, heartbreak and negativity.
I have received rich blessings.  I have experienced wonderful friendships.  I have met amazing human beings.

I have been flat on my face before God and have been humbled.  I know what it is like to have loved and lost.  I know what it is like to be lost in love.  I know what it is to love and get nothing in return.  I know what it is to be loved unconditionally.

I know who I am.  I know what I like.  I know what personalities drain me and which energize me.  I have carefully weeded my friendship garden, plucking weeds that choke the life out of me.
I cultivate my crops and fertilize with the Spirit.  I am okay with who I am because Jesus is.  I am carefully and wonderfully made.  I am who He created me to be.

I am happy that I am finally here.  I am free.  Free to be ME.
Others may not like who I am or like what I do or what I say.  People are people.  We do not always agree.  That is what makes the world go round.

As long as my actions are pleasing to God that is all that matters.  I am far from perfect.  I stumble.  I fall.  But He is there to pick me up, forgive me and help me go on.

I am ready for my next journey.  I may not look the way I had hoped.  I may not weigh the amount I want.  I may not have a snappy wardrobe or jewels to adorn myself.  But my heart is decorated with love.  Love for God. Love for people.  Love for Missions.  Love for Nature.   Love for the Lost.  Love for the hurting.  I can see the world through clear lenses now.  

I can dismiss those who attempt to hurt me.
I can cast weeds from my garden and be okay with that. 

I know what my heart needs and I am the one to protect it, with His guidance and help every step of the way.

Don't let people dictate who you should be.  Don't conform to this world.  Transform your heart, mind and soul with Jesus.  It is simply the only way!